it isnt disordered, and i just found a really nice ig normalizing having suicidal thoughts the other day and it made me smile

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"found" isnt really accurate

ig advertised to me

cos they know sometimes it's rough out there and that's ok

found, as in, i followed up and went to the account and read a little and saved

nostr:nevent1qqs2vzm9yas2al84pd4tcfscq5lnmk0tewcxa3khzf82xv6uukgux2qpzemhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuurjd9kkzmpwdejhgr97lqv

Gallows humour is a thing.

I spent too long in my younger years with a suicidal disposition.

I still don’t understand it - but I basically wanted off the planet I went out of my way to avoid participating in things I objected to, it made things difficult but I found some solace in it.

Later I found the sentiment that if it were inevitable that I could delay the act and try at least to accomplish anything of value before wrapping things up.

Don’t give up.

Don’t do it , we love you.

An older man that I deeply respect recognizing my position phoned me at a very dark time. I didn’t take the call, but I did hear his message, and the conviction in his voice.

Since then my life has changed course. I’ve invested in myself. Things have gotten slowly better

Bitcoin is helping. I feel less pessimistic about the corruption. Nostr is helping. I feel less disconnected seeing others being genuine.

You got this.

Just keep breathing .

Hope you have a good holiday - or at least not too bad.

How is suicidal ideation not a disordered thought pattern?

gap to vast i fear, hodl

i dont even subscribe to thoughts being patterns

Sometimes they are sometimes they aren’t in my opinion

that's cool im kinda into figuring out discerning the difference 🤔

My gut tells me it has to do with how sticky the thought is. Millions of thoughts pass through our minds but a few occasionally get stuck

It’s a loop of thinking. Many things are

That's a bit of a dodge.

no. i dont mean to be rude but i dont even experience thoughts as sticky. i never have. https://primal.net/e/nevent1qqs9sjcslnk7hcpkuxt4znt3qs5c7fzy7ll2rgwk6d862xhym6fnsqs6kmaq5

deferring and exiting is all

what it means to pass or be uninterested