I did feel a bit stupid to be honest, but now that you said it had a positive impact, I feel a bit less stupid, no remorse 😂😅

jokes apart.. something I try to do is making decisions about my journey based mostly on my intuition and what my guts tell me, so that in the end I couldn't or shouldn't have regrets or feel remorse because I just did what my inners self was suggesting to, and what I am and what I will be is the sum of my own fails and decision.

What I fear is looking back at have regrets because I didn't listen to my self and instead I let the contest or someone else influence too much my thoughts.. I would be pissed, and probably used that as alibi for my failure.

Remorse get you angry and stuck on the past, brooding on the "what if.." instead of embracing the present, and trying to be less anxious about the future because you are not projecting the past on it.

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everything you eventually figure out as it wasn't what you needed to do is a way to be deeply in touch with your intuition. so remorse makes you see there was something you were not seeing, but now you can. it can be just a reminder of who you are.

you can be angry and try to blame others as a reaction to that, but when you see it, when you feel the anger - that maybe was there before you made that choice but you didn't allow yourself to feel - and you face the remorse, you can look at the things you were not seeing before and let the remorse go, cause it's no longer needed and you'll be closest to you.

if you want to, try to see, in a situation that you felt remorse, if there's something you were trying not to feel. and then just let the feeling appear and open up to just feel it.

please tell me if something bothers you here.

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about being stupid: maybe you're trying to be smart. I see myself in this position a lot - writing this comment is being a struggle because of that. but that's an ego search. that's ok not to know something and to make mistakes on things you clearly know how to handle. but that feeling of being stupid maybe shows us that life's wisdom is available for us, we can just open our eyes to that.

No bother, on contrary, thanks for your comment as it does make me reflects from a different angle about a topic I am interested about.

seeing remorse as a reminder of who you are is a perspective I didn't think about until now, and yes I do agree, as we are also the sum of the actions that created that remorse.

I never try to blame others, there's no point, that's the way I avoid to have remorse in a certain way. I see blaming others for our failures is an alibi and counterproductive because we learn more from our own mistakes in my opinion.

About being smart, yeah I can't deny I am trying to, but not as a race or confront with someone else more than with myself and the one I was yesterday. I constantly face situation and have connection with people that clearly expose how much I don't know the second immediately after I thought I understood something new.. "the more I know, the more I understand how much I don't know" is a pharse that ecoes in my mind often, but yet ..

would you tell me more about us being the sum of the actions?

blaming others is always an illusion, but I do that sometimes. when I see what I'm doing I can be responsible for what I'm feeling and see my projections.

and about being smart: when I'm talking about things I live and are important to me I usually don't try to win or to be the smartest person, but I see a lot of competition in me when I'm supressing myself somehow.

and if someone walks up and punches you who's fault? and if someone breaks into your house who"s fault. so blame sometimes isn't an illusion. I think you didn't mean this as written. absolutes... tread carefully.

oh, the punch or breaking into my house is certainly their responsibility, no excuses or justification can take that away.

what is blame to you? maybe what you call blame I'm calling responsibility.

There's no "to me", it's a word about someone being at fault.

Dictionary:

transitive verb To consider responsible for a misdeed, failure, or undesirable outcome.

transitive verb To find fault with; criticize.

transitive verb To place responsibility for (something).

noun The state of being responsible for a fault or error; culpability.

noun Censure; condemnation.

idiom (to blame) Deserving censure or disapproval; at fault.

idiom (to blame) Being the cause or source of something.

Are you talking about not criticizing others?

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