Why offering to help with preexisting kids is a red flag? It only tells that the guy has low self esteem, but he doesn't have to be an awful person. And by the way having preexisting kids is even more red flag for a woman on a date, so maybe she thought it is a match of red flags or something 🤔

When I read yours it gave me the guts to come out and tell mine I only told a one or two small things but for years it was desperate, for days their wouldn't be a slice of bread in the house till mammy got her welfare money which most was spent on drink we always ate we on pay days and the day after come the third day things would revert back to having nothing and waiting for her to get paid again, I had to go to school through all of this I was treated horribly in school I use to lash out break windows things got so so bad mammy would walk to the shops with pee stains in her jeans and all my friends used to laugh and make fun of me I use to wish the ground would open up, but as I said I could never understand why they left me with my mother the social workers I was 13-14 when my two younger brothers were taken maybe I was to old but she began drinking heavier after that my father was nowhere To be seen the only person I had was my grandmother on my father's side who had a heart of gold and would always feed me or wash clothes, just look after me, when I turned 17 she let me move in to her house I was on the sofa I think she knew the conditions at my mother's were unlivable the sofa would be better, that's were my life started to change I had 3 meals a day 8 hours of sleep and clean clothes going to school I actually past my leaving cert it's the end of school tests on every subject but didn't get enough points to get into a good collage only a community college so I took a year out and went working labouring for plasters mixing buckets of skimming all day the money was good and I could of stayed and got a trade but I decided to go back to higher education and I got a degree in mechanical engineering and started out working in big garages around my town I was good with my hands I quickly start flipping money doing a bit of panal beating knocking dints out of wings of cars and I'd respray them I built up a good name and the rest is history. But my grandmother if she didn't take me in god knows we're id be prolly dead from an OD or homeless on the streets of Dublin, my grandma was a very spritual women and never missed morning mass at 8.15 am at the local church she would always say the rosary at 12 and 6pm god love her she passed away 23 Jan 2003 I cried for days It was the first time I lost someone I really loved she basically saved my life took me a long time to except her desth. But my mam cleaned up her act and is 15 years clean and sober she'll be 70 this Sept and my father settled down with another woman it took a long time to forgive him but when I finally understood he wasn't happy he was young he wanted out we became really close and when I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma a few years ago he drove me to every appointment and would wait even when I was getting chemo he'd sit with me he really stepped up as a father... Wow it's great to get things off you're chest, I've done this almost 14 year ago when the girl I was seeing at the time wanted me to go and see a counselor I think I had maybe 10 sessions but it's like a weight been lifted off you're shoulders when you speak about everything I was saying to you and so much more bad stuff I wouldn't mention on here but it was great to get it of my chest with the counselor. Thanks Michelle is great to have someone on here who had a similar upbringing just to speak on it is amazing knowing I'm not the only one and I'm sure there's more on here that may have suffered like we did. We're here for them Jesus is here for them 🙏