gentlemen: what kinds of things do you do for your wife/gf that make you desirable to her?—not sexually, but in a more intimate fashion. what do you offer to her that makes you desirable and irreplaceable?
#relationships #marriage #asknostr
Discussion
We need answers
Absolutely nothing. I'm the biggest PoS ever.
She even has to wake me up in the morning because I'll just turn off the alarms.
No idea how I even have had my g/f for 10yrs.
I did have to protect her from a bee today though, so there's that. 🤷
yikes
she mostly seems to appreciate feeling unconditional love when i listen to her attentively and give my honest feedback... and also when i pull her out of those really dark places with a firm touch or words that help her think of things in a different way
mmmmmm, yes~!
when you can witness Her rage, pain, grief, wounds, sadness, self-loathing... and show Her, no prove to Her, that She's worthy of being loved even if She feels that way... that is beautiful. that is love. <333
this has been the hardest thing for me to learn my whole life 🥹 especially when all that rage and pain... guilt and shame is poured on me ⛈️ it's so easy for me to defend, to take it personally 👹 i have to lose myself for Her 🫥 and I'm still right here 🌌 She remembers Her power🕯️and we feel love 💞
same.
being able to love through the storm instead of being carried away by it is a superpower. <3
I can be handy around the house, I cook, do groceries, have a job that allows me a great deal of time flexibility I often use to accommodate last-minute changes (like a kid needing to go to the doctor, someone needs to be home for package delivery), can stand up to her mother (although she did that just yesterday on her own, I should write about that later today, it was pretty badass), we have quite open communication and generally try to be a good father. You would think that the last two points are no-brainers, but it turns out that doing these two things automatically puts you ahead of the average, at least judging by relationships in our sphere.
beautiful response~!
communication is a no-brainer, but it's just always something i've struggled with (both of us if i'm being honest). i've really had to work at it to build the skill.
the written word has always been easier for me, i guess because i process things a bit more slowly..? but also because i deeply feared being seen in the moment.
there are sooooo many things that go into good communication, so i think you're right—it does put you above average. :3
(also, you *should* write about that courageous moment~!)
I know the message is for men. If you don't mind, I'd like to share my take from a lady's pov.
1. Make 'quality' time together. Eg. Talk about your relationship away from the responsibility. Responsibility kills desire. Hence, set time to be playful together like when you were dating. Be curious together.
2. Undivided attention. Sometimes all we need is your attention, sounding board and to be listened. If you can give that to your partner, active listening, be intently present then you can empathise what she is going through or her needs or wants.
3. Communication. I am talking about two way comms. It also matters 'how' you communicate. Without being selfish and lashing out is not communication. It's entitlement and immaturity. You ability to relay what you want and what you need takes a lot of skills. Do this incorrectly and it will invite resentment in the relationship.
All of these go both ways too. Women out there will benefit with this too.
Lol that's long. Hope it helps! ☺️😂
beautiful list, Lady Mae~!
every point is excellent advice. and the common theme—loving intention.
"responsibility kills desire."
yes~!
"because i have to" has nothing on "because i want to." it makes all the difference, and that difference can be felt.
<333
💯 esp if your partner is in tune with her/his energy that can sense when the gesture is genuine or not.