I don’t believe in dealbreakers. I think there is always more goodsides to people that can outweigh any perceived negatives. If something your partner does upsets you then thats just an opportunity for you to make them a better person. If they care about you they will make the effort to change and improve. Dealbreakers are giving up before even trying.
Discussion
nostr:npub1xtscya34g58tk0z605fvr788k263gsu6cy9x0mhnm87echrgufzsevkk5s nostr:npub17x7htjej3hgcqwqj86u9yvpcunhw6nz4zclzph2zfnlwe4v0yp8qrxvgap
If she has a penis, it’s a dealbreaker.
I don’t think dealbreakers are necessarily good or bad. At least not the ones I’m thinking of. More the ones where you’re like this tells me we just fundamentally don’t want the same life.
If someone told me they would never go near water it would be a dealbreaker. Like beyond just not knowing how to swim. I’d teach someone to swim. I am an absolute water baby. It’s my happy place. I’d want to share that with a partner and family.
maybe im biased because everything about nostr:npub1h50pnxqw9jg7dhr906fvy4mze2yzawf895jhnc3p7qmljdugm6gsrurqev would have been a perceived dealbreaker for me when I first met her, but it was exactly out differences which made me a better and less introverted person. The cliche opposite attracts has been a big impact on me. I don’t believe that you are unbiased enough to know what is good for you: My 2c
You’re response makes a lot more sense after reading Vanessa’s answer. But how did y’all get together in the first place? Just that much attraction and chemistry?
This note popped up randomly.
Must have been fate for me to respond.
My wife is very much an opposite. I have grown so much finding our middle. The friction of contrast becomes growth in many respects.
Maybe opposites are what some people need?
It has worked for us. It’s not easy all the time, but it’s Proof of Work and I’m a better man for it zooming out.
Side note - raising our child is exciting that he will be a combination of both of our differences and I’m sure add his own sequence to the harmony. 😅
I believe dealbreakers are a useful heuristic. There are so many great people on this planet. I don't have time to try to dig out the "less bad" part of the bad ones.
But you two (Will and Mallory) seem to be talking about something different : dating (so a new person) vs an established relationship.
The dealbreaker heuristic may not be as useful in an established relationship.