Nostr Web Client

Are those dealbreakers or makers? You seem to have the kid, travel, and spontaneity on lock V.

Vanessa 2y ago

Haha makers now. Breakers previously 😍

Really? How the hell did that switch happen?

Vanessa 2y ago

Previous partner had a much diff view of how he wanted to live his life and that ultimately didn’t work out.

jb55 2y ago

I don’t believe in dealbreakers. I think there is always more goodsides to people that can outweigh any perceived negatives. If something your partner does upsets you then thats just an opportunity for you to make them a better person. If they care about you they will make the effort to change and improve. Dealbreakers are giving up before even trying.

I don’t think dealbreakers are necessarily good or bad. At least not the ones I’m thinking of. More the ones where you’re like this tells me we just fundamentally don’t want the same life.

If someone told me they would never go near water it would be a dealbreaker. Like beyond just not knowing how to swim. I’d teach someone to swim. I am an absolute water baby. It’s my happy place. I’d want to share that with a partner and family.

jb55 2y ago

maybe im biased because everything about nostr:npub1h50pnxqw9jg7dhr906fvy4mze2yzawf895jhnc3p7qmljdugm6gsrurqev would have been a perceived dealbreaker for me when I first met her, but it was exactly out differences which made me a better and less introverted person. The cliche opposite attracts has been a big impact on me. I don’t believe that you are unbiased enough to know what is good for you: My 2c

You’re response makes a lot more sense after reading Vanessa’s answer. But how did y’all get together in the first place? Just that much attraction and chemistry?

jb55 2y ago

🙊🙈🙉

Fair play

QuackingKahuna 2y ago

I do not see Vanessa's answer. Is there a possibility to point to it? Maybe I do not share a relay?...

QuackingKahuna 2y ago

Pointer would be great, but managed to find out :)

QW 2y ago

This note popped up randomly.

Must have been fate for me to respond.

My wife is very much an opposite. I have grown so much finding our middle. The friction of contrast becomes growth in many respects.

Maybe opposites are what some people need?

It has worked for us. It’s not easy all the time, but it’s Proof of Work and I’m a better man for it zooming out.

Side note - raising our child is exciting that he will be a combination of both of our differences and I’m sure add his own sequence to the harmony. 😅

The Marie ⚡️🦂 2y ago

If he is actually a she, it’s a dealbreaker for me 😬

Chriso🇺🇸🇦🇺🦘⚡️ 2y ago

The more likely scenario would be a she turning out to be a he. Glad I’m not in that game anymore 😂😂😂

Evan 2y ago

Being shitty to servers and support staff is an instant dealbreaker for me.

Being rude and acting superior is a pretty common dealbreaker and definitely should be. Come up with a fun random one! Or mention something about your partner that was a deal maker!

Evan 2y ago

Hmmm… 🤔

Totally!

Jeff 2y ago

💯

Maria2000 2y ago

I love steak, so no vegans for me. But I'm taken.

I expect both people to not guilt the other about their diet. Say something if there is a legitimate health concern. Otherwise zip it.

I personally never again wish to live with someone should they decide to try the cabbage soup diet. So if I was living with someone one of us would need to go on vacation if the cabbage soup diet feels like a necessity for their life path.

Kendy 2y ago

A lot of ladies are putting “doesn’t return their shopping cart” on their profiles. Which I agree with lol

I think it’s a way to say I want a considerate partner.

DRE 2y ago

Sweet baby gang agrees

Bud 2y ago

No litterbugs.

a_priori 2y ago

Trusts the government.

What if they worked for the government?

Loki 2y ago

100% deal breaker. I don't even know how we'd get past 4 minutes chatting online.

🤣 but some people who work or have worked for the government trust it the least

plor 2y ago

I worked for the government. It definitely confirmed my priors about motives and competence.

Loki 2y ago

I was unlucky enough for the government to be my first employer. Drove me no drink. That and then I moved in with a government employee, manager, who already was doing away with 2L of cola and whiskey every night.

Chriso🇺🇸🇦🇺🦘⚡️ 2y ago

🫂

Loki 2y ago

If she's comfy with the fiat world she can stay there, thanks.

Sovereign Matt 2y ago

Nose piercings and tattoos put me off.

😬

I’m tattooed. Since I was a teenager I’ve occasionally wanted a diamond stud nostril piercing. Just never done it for various reasons.

Sovereign Matt 2y ago

If it’s well hidden then I might be able to put up with it.

But if it’s somewhere obvious then it just puts me off getting to know the person lol.

I like tattoos in general. I’m always curious about them. What is someone’s philosophy about getting inked? What they got and when? How they feel about it now?

Geist 2y ago

I like the tattoo I got ~8 years ago, wish I had got a few more but never found an artist I was vibing with. If they aren't visible in day clothes they are fine, I forget I have a tattoo 99% of the time these days, sleeves and stuff are cool when you are like 19, not so much later.

Some of y’all need to work on your concept of a random dealbreaker and not a totally typical one.

I appreciate responses though

Damn, that's how you know someone's scarred/triggered 😂😂 all I saw was deal-breaker

You were not alone. I think a lot of people have forgotten that dating should be fun. It’s sounding like y’all are out there surviving wars.

Hahaha yeah my friends are always saying that 😂😂 but it gets scary when people get close. I catch deep feelings so being single is preferred for me 🙏😅 I can't seem to date for fun, cos when I like someone I reaaaaallly like them

Are we talking about you or me? I so relate.

Thank god I was starting to think there was something wrong with me 😂 other people can be so detached while dating, I'm jealous

Do you find that you’re attracted to fewer people than your friends? Or like I know people who go on dates with people they’re meh about and I feel like I’m misrepresenting myself and wasting someone’s time.

Yeah 💯%, It will be one guy that stands out to me in random moments of life and I'll think, 'oh he's lovely' and it's usually the guy no one else seems to notice much or be attracted to 😂. I don't even have a type, it's odd, it's just someones aura I'm attracted to. But, yeah it's few and far between and like you I just don't want to waste anyone's time. My guy friends have tried picking people for me and they picked a lovely guy honestly, but if I don't feel anything I can't force it. Do you think passion can grow from nothing? I have been attracted to people who I initially wasn't attracted to after getting to know them, but if you talk to them and still nothing?

Oh I can totally find people attractive after conversation and interaction. I can also see someone who is objectively handsome and then they open their mouth and I’m like hard no. Someone intelligent and curious is really attractive to me. I think you need at least a mustard seed for attraction to grow. My longer relationships have been with guys I didn’t take notice of at first. Either my mind was on another guy. (I seem to crush monogamously 😂) Or something just shifted and I was like oh hey you.

Smell is also a weird thing for me. I met a man who seemed perfect in every way. It wasn’t a hygiene issue. His smell was just wrong somehow, like the pheromones were off. I don’t know how to explain it.

Attraction is so weird.

💯 agree! Haha yeah looks really aren't the end all be all - they are somewhat important cos of the initial attraction but what keeps you is so much more. Yeahh smart guys are ✨👌.

Totally agree. My friend Joe was like 'just see how it goes' but I can't do that 🫠 what if he caught feelings and I decided he wasn't for me and I've just led him on so I could experiment ? 😭 that's awful I can't do that. But that is basically what dating is I suppose...

Omg I crush monogamously too! 😂 Ah see I'm a little different. My longest relationship I noticed right away - he didn't notice me 😂. I saw him across the room in class and his eyes were like those cartoon sparkly eyes and I thought, 'yepp, he's the one'😌. *Whispers* He wasn't the one 😂👀.

Ohh that's interesting 🤔 that's fair though, I totally agree attraction is a mystery 😂💯

rugged.rug 2y ago

Thinks it's perfectly acceptable for trampoline parks to charge an extra $3.50 for socks while requiring them - instead of just putting it in the base price.

Do you have to buy specialty socks? Or can you bring socks from home?

rugged.rug 2y ago

Yup, nope. You can re-wear the specialty socks on subsequent visits though - invalidating any claims that it is a health or cleanliness issue. I am including this in the strongly worded letter I write while my wife massages my shoulders, whispering encouragement, reminding me how principled my economic decisions are.

84

laguz 2y ago

If the person squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom (I’m squeezing from the middle always) , if the person when pouring the cup of tee or coffee underfills (below 1 cm from the top) the water . 😂 I’m joking , these are not dealbreakers , but i always notice these two habits in everyone. The one real Dealbreaker is to have or not to have children and different approaches to raising children. Ok 2d one - lack of sense of humour :)

Mr⚡2MB 🐇🏴‍☠️ 2y ago

Vaccinated women

Akito 2y ago

God forbid, you get a woman without muscle spasms, which may break her spine! 😂

? Are you talking about muscle spasms related to tetanus?

Akito 2y ago

Yes!

I’m vaccinated!

Deal breaker

I’m ok with that.

Me too

Bud 2y ago

Marry me

If I keep getting Nostr proposals I may not believe when I get a serious one.

₿² 2y ago

If I had as many dollars as I had proposals, I would have zero dollars.

Monogamy 😅

So you’re poly?

Not polyamore, Fetish Partys with my wife, meet other couples and what happens happens. But no really looking to have multiple loves. ☺️

And what is your position on that?

Personally monogamous. To each their own.

utxo the webmaster 🧑‍💻 2y ago

Doesn't want kids

That’s not random or fun but a totally normal dealbreaker

Rob 2y ago

Far from random!

Enki 2y ago

Being Messy is kinda a deal breaker. I get having a space that's lived in but I'm generally neat and appreciate a clean space (especially in the kitchen) . And as a light sleeper snoring is a big one not being able to sleep in the same room as your partner can be..frustrating.

Sedj 2y ago

Somewhat rando - doesn't treat drive-thru employees well.

I think every other red flag on my list would be pretty normal.

Geist 2y ago

I'd worry less about what is a deal breaker for other people, people are stupid. What do you want, and you really need to think about that in a sober manner, maybe consult your mother. It takes 2 to live a decent life, if you don't want dishes stacking up in the sink, if you don't want clothes piled in the corner, if you don't want your car to be covered in bug guts, if you don't want to be living in filth, etc. "Someone has tell the waiter they gave me the wrong order, and it isn't going to be me", that's funny, but when you have to deal with contractors fucking up your house, you'll learn to value someone who has no shame in telling people they haven't delivered what was ordered. Someone has to be good with kids, or even animals, you want a dog that's getting out and terrorizing the neighbors or smells like poop? At least one of you needs to be very predisposed to managing that stuff. Are you bad at checking the mail? ding ding ding you just missed your first credit card payment from home depot! They'd better cook too.

plor 2y ago

I think there can be real dealbreakers that highlight incompatibilities early, but most of the random ones are more previous baggage or red flags. I don't think you should waste time, but random disqualifiers just seems to exacerbate our difficult dating landscape more.

Jac 2y ago

Betrayal.

ShiShi21m 2y ago

Plastic surgery

54

54fc669c... 2y ago

Manipulative behavior and perfection

Robertrobert 2y ago

Morbidly obese. Need to respect yourself before anyone else will.

Hoshi 2y ago

self-inflicted disabling stuff: high heels, very long finger nails, excessive makeup, obesity, drugs, …

Rob 2y ago

Think the most random deal breaker I've heard of was "must have good spatial awareness"

Baker 2y ago

That sounds like some stupid Seinfeld shit right there.

🤣 This might be the best response.

I do love people’s idiosyncrasies though.

Ƒʉͫcͧкͭιͪηͣ 𝕵𝖔𝖍𝖓 ⚡️⚡️ 2y ago

Vaxxed? Single Mom? Leftist?

I would start from there.

Emotionally unavailable guys 🥹 I have dated the same guy for years it seems, just with a different name and haircut 👀

Sounds like your picker is broken.

My personal experience I went through a period of dating emotionally unavailable men because it was easier to blame them than look at my commitment issues. I wanted to try to protect my heart from being hurt. Which is impossible to do and truly let someone in.

That was scary, that's what I do 🥲😂 I do want commitment, I really do, but I trust no one (except my little brother) 😅. I don't mean with cheating, I never suspect that funnily enough 😂 I just don't trust that people have good intentions so I can't trust them with my heart. But I know you have to give people a chance. I'm working on that 🤙

My experience has been that when you start protecting yourself from untrustworthy people, identifying them and either not letting them in your life or cutting them out, it becomes easier to trust. You are giving yourself evidence that you will protect yourself and your boundaries. When you trust that you can protect yourself it becomes easier to let the right people in. It’s definitely a work in progress for me at least.

I like this 🥹♥️ I'll try 🤙 you could totally be a therapist Mallory, this is some good stuff 👌

I’ve heard that before. Don’t know that I agree. Art or play therapy maybe.

Trust me on this 😂 you got me to open up (a little, but still) and forget that there's a bunch of people here 👀

I thought of one!! 😍 Using words wrong, we all do it sometimes but damn some people are talking nonsense on the regular

I’ve gotten in the habit of looking up words because over the years the meaning has gotten a little off in my mind. Oy vey my use of some Yiddish words was terribly off. I’m so goy I probably shouldn’t be using them at all.

Ooo a really bad texter. To the point that you’re like did you learn how to read and write? Though I love when Irish guys type in their accent. It’s amazing.

Oh so many examples 🥹 using like as a comma, saying stuff like 'food gives me the ick' (heard someone say this and I thought whaaat? What do you mean?). Saying literally when you mean figuratively. Mixing up their, there, and they're. Saying to instead of too. (That's more grammar though and not the end of the world, I don't mind that). Also when people talk in circles and use big words to answer a question without answering the question 😂😂 that one's funny though.

Not terrible, but if a guy did ALL of these I'd feel like I was dating a teenager 😩

Same I still look up words too, they do get lost sometimes ☺️ oh that's cute haha I like that. Texting colloquial is wonderful 😍

I’m also curious if you have any examples of terrible offenses in incorrect word usage?

mattybs 2y ago

People who are rude to wait staff. Not gonna happen.