I’ve always wondered, in an HOA is it not the home owner that sells the house and then the buyer can reject the HOA rules?

Seems like one should be able to reject policy as the policy of an HOA is not lawful.

When one buys a home in an HOA community, is there really a forced contract between buyer and HOA? If so it seems the HOA owns the home and not the seller 🤷‍♂️

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Yes you are forced to accept the rules or you cannot get a deed. The Declarations and Covenants of developments which contain the documents creating the HOA "run with the land" so you take the land subject to those tyrannical instruments like you would if there was any other lien on the property like a right of way or easement, etc. It is really really difficult to break up these documents. You basically have to buy all the property and then undo the documents, or get every property owner to sign off on it.