Austin, thank you for this. I’ve explored the 12 step concept (in a very preliminary way) a few times and recognize the value. Been trying to implement the first stages in an organic way recently, but I think what I’m coming up against is that trying to work through it solo is extremely challenging. And I completely agree it’s applicable to any range of dopamine-inducing behaviors. Thanks for replying 🤍
Life is difficult. Luckily very few paths have not been walked by others willing to share their experience and lessons.
I’d suggest starting down your journey by reading this introduction to the twelve steps and twelve traditions.
https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2022-01/en_tt_contents.pdf
following on, you can continue with the rest of the book, located here-
https://www.aa.org/twelve-steps-twelve-traditions
You may find that while its focus is alcohol, its principles can be applied to many of the issues you described. The struggle of life will always exist, and you will need to lean on others as you have here, especially your loved ones, to keep you on the path you choose to walk.
Discussion
Well, sounds like you need to lean into step five, admitting to yourself, god(higher power), and another human being, the exact nature of your wrongs. Another human being means in person, face to face- exact nature of your wrongs means not doing what you did here, which is generalized, but specific.
I’d suggest this person be your partner.
Or, join an AA group, start to go, and lean into the group instead of being solo. AA will most likely accept you, but this process of growth will always be extremely difficult, and you will probably fail attempting to grow alone, so you must share your experience with another human in person and lean on their compassion to achieve the growth you desire.
Have you tried what some people might call slightly more esoteric things like Shamanic assisted meditation or biomagnetism or reiki? They sound odd to some people but I found really interesting as found it opened up a lot of memories from past and really helped ditch some negative behaviours. I think they help with self forgiveness. Maybe not for everyone but still very interesting experiences
Hypnosis is something to add to this list