Imagine having to worry about penalty timeouts every 2 weeks just to make sure your money doesn't go *poof* lmao. What a pain in the ass. Once your transaction is confirmed on Monero or Bitcoin it is final.
LN doesn't hide reciever and amounts, neither obfuscate IP.
If the protocol isn't private by default, most won't use it that way, just like Bitcoin.
If you don't use large routing nodes your LN transactions are much more likely to fail. And now you are just adding more friction and barriers for casual users. If you want to fullfill your global money prophecy the average person has to be able to simply use it.
Remember, all these problems are the self-custodial way of using LN. I didn't even mention that 90% of LN users are using closed source, custodial wallets like Wallet of Satoshi because using LN in any sovereign manner is such a hassle.