You’ll be fine. Just have a few drinks first. 😊
Discussion
Terrible advice for a woman. Probably anyone going out for work drinks. Never be the drunkest one there. Sip drinks slowly. Drink water.
Liking someone while drunk leads to false assumptions, expectations, miscommunication, so approach it with care. Best of luck 💜
Thank you tanel 💜🫂
Good thing it’s a work party! Best to like your coworkers a bit more than you actually do. 😉😂
yeah, but the odds of saying something under the influence, that you’re gonna regret 😅💜
Oh that would be fun game… what’s something you’ve said under the influence you regret? Confession time.
can’t remember
🤣 Saved by a poor memory
this is me in a nutshell 🤣
my brain completely fogs 99% of the life i experience, so i am pretty nicely covered in a comfy and soft shell of early dementia
Or you live in the moment?
i think a lot of it is due to me not living in the moment.
i live anxiously in the future, not living in the moment, therefore i forgor 
Ooo I was just looking into something like that 🤓
I was thinking of something I said at a party almost 20 years ago, recently. I wasn’t even inebriated.
Ooo what was it? 😳🥹🤣😂🙏🏽🙏🏽
A guy was giving me a shoulder massage at a party. We argued over how much pressure to use. I wanted bone cracking pressure and he was trying to tell me that would make it worse. He then told me he’d gone to massage therapy school. I looked back at him and said “you should go back”. It was bitchy and he was right.
🤣😂🤣 I have questions 😂😂😂🤣😂 is this normal in parties in America? I need to go to America if people are giving out massages like that 🥹 I’ve never had one - except from a teacher in school, but I was so nervous I couldn’t relax.
That kind of sounds cute and romantic, definitely a meet cute 🥹 how did it end? You always have such wonderful movie like stories 🥹
been the guy in this situation, but got complimented for the massage 🤔
Yep that’s the normal response. I was feisty. He was right. I was wrong. So it’s almost 20 years later and I’m still thinking about it.
what would you say now?
I’d apologize for being bitchy. Tell him I’d learned he was right. Tight muscles do need to gently be massaged to relax so they don’t spasm. Possibly try to see if I could convince him to give me another shoulder massage. 🤣
You go get your massage lovely ☺️🥰😉😉 let us know how it goes! A guy who’s good with his hands is a keeper I’ve heard 💯💯🫂♥️ 
Most recently got a massage from a women who used to teach at a massage therapy school for 30+ years. It was more medical but necessary. She was awesome.
I’d also probably tell him I’m sorry we met at a party hosted by the guy I was dating at the time. I crush monogamously. Even though he was awesome. My attention was already elsewhere so it was a losing game for him. Almost 20 years later and I’m like what an idiot. The guy I was seeing was acting like a self assured dick and this absolutely sweet heart of guy was right there.
Memory is funny though. More likely this guy doesn’t even remember that night.
That’s romantic 🥹♥️ I bet he does remember you! 🫂
I love your optimism. Personally it would not surprise me in the slightest if he doesn’t even remember ever meeting me.
Maybe didn’t made any particular impression or mattered
😉
I dunno, I’d definitely remember massaging a beautiful women 😉♥️☺️💯
I was wearing an “I ❤️ Pizza” shirt, then took it off. I don’t know if it was for the massage or because it was like a beacon to every drunk/stoned dude at the party.
It’s also been almost 20 years.
Ahh that doesn’t mean anything, I don’t remember what I had for dinner last week but I remember chasing snow in the playground around 20 years ago 😍 we remember the good stuff 🙏🏽
Some moments are memorable to one but not both. Memory is a funny and fickle beast. Who knows he could be like nostr:npub1t3ggcd843pnwcu6p4tcsesd02t5jx2aelpvusypu5hk0925nhauqjjl5g4 and remember almost nothing.
You were topless with him? Oh Mallory I’m sure he would remember you 😂🤣😂🤣♥️💯💯😍🥹🙏🏽 also lovely shirt 🥹 I too love pizza 🫂
why is there some none PG-13 content in my notification thread 🫣
The shirt was a black baby doll tee from when I worked at Extreme Pizza. (Literally rolled up from work to a party and didn’t bother to change.) Tried to see if they had any in their merch store but no such luck.
Sexy search bot thought this was rather spicy 🌶️ 😂🤣☺️♥️
all the Richard’s getting reposted whenever mentioned
Oh those two?
Richard Shaft and Richard Moll
Both died
💌
Guess killing on random and social reputation and gossip, or maybe even right out slander is not the lions truth of judah to kill by, as slander and such are a felony, and when done intentionally to cause harm, as well sick.
⚾️
What’s the sexy search bot? Have they reposted me? 😱
Yeahh they repost some sus stuff sometimes 🤣😂🥹 but I think this is rather sweet 🥹♥️
Can you post their npub? I can’t see who reposted that post. 🤷🏼♀️
That’s weird they somehow haven’t reposted it now 🤔 and every time I go on their page damus crashes and I can’t copy and paste the npub - it’s a bot though 🙏🏽 
Sexy search bot reposts all kinds of things I write and I have no idea what it’s cueing off of 😂
Maybe my nerdiness is just way sexier than I thought…
Aw that’s okay, am sure he knows you didn’t mean anything by it 🥹🫂
I have a picture somewhere. It turned into a massage train. Like about a dozen people all giving the person in front of them a shoulder massage. I’ve seen it happen at other parties in San Francisco. Gotten massages at parties in LA too. I dunno maybe it’s me. Or going to parties with Burners? I dunno. Any other Bay Area peeps wanna chime in? Never seen it happen at a party in the South and I saw some weird shit at parties as a teenager.
I was gonna ask about a massage train! Then I thought nahhh it probably didn’t happen 🤣😂🤣💜. I wanna seee please 🙏🏽🥹.
What’s a burner? We have to talk about this weird shit sometime 🤔🧐 I’m intrigued haha
Ooo I have massage oil! Is it weird if I go up to someone and ask them if they want a massage at a party? And if they can do me after? 🥹
...That might be a bit forward for an after work party. But thats just me, get a feeling of the vibes first 😂
Mallory correct me if im wrong but I think a burner is someone who goes to burning man. Sounds about right considering what you described
Yep a burner is someone who goes to Burning Man. I don’t think I ever went to a party in SF without a contingent of Burners.
Oooo how did you know they were burners? Do they just constantly talk about burning man? 🥹
They walk in like this, ready to take off
They’re already intergalactic
I want to go to America 😦 
Burning man is NOT America. I'm sure it is in another dimension, and one in glad I have never entered.
I never wanted to go until last year. Glad I didn’t make it this year.
BM (I find it amusing to abbreviate it that way) is #2 on my places of "Nope, never."
What’s #1?
Vegas.
Hey weave, is that your fake ass?
🫶
Oh the people watching and shows in Vegas were amazing!
No thanks. It's a horrific, outlandish parody of American life that should never have been built where it was.
I appreciate Cirque du Soleil as well as observing the outlandish. Not everything has to be so serious. The ridiculous can be enjoyed.
Can’t disagree maybe it shouldn’t have been built in a desert lacking adequate water and then let’s add tons of pools and fountains.
True, but, it's not a place I want to ever go. When Obi Wan is talking about Mos Eisley, I think of Vegas.
Where’s a place you want to go? Also I don’t think I’d want to go to Mos Eisley either.
Japan, but hiking out in the middle of nowhere.
Ireland, but not with all the woke BS and import troubles going on.
Back to Greece, but not with the issues in the country now
Back to Aruba
Somewhere tropical in the Pacific that is not Hawaii
Alaska
Anywhere else that's closer I can drive to in a day, so that's not a big deal.
You just know. It’s a vibe. Also burners bring up Burning Man and/or invite you almost as often as vegans or vegetarians let you know they’re one.
That’s amazing 😂🤣 the dating video I posted, she had a story about how she was stuck on a guy she met at burning man before she met her husband 🤣😂💜
Sometimes I wonder if the Brits ever touch each other? I think they have to be plastered to muster up the courage for physical contact. I’d almost want to suggest trading shoulder massages at a works do just for the absolutely horrified reactions. Also feel like an HR person would pop up immediately, almost like Clippy, to explain why that is inappropriate.
Something tells me that a SF party with a contingent of burners is both figuratively and literally on a completely different hemisphere from a British after work party 🤣
tea and biscuits, while high on laughing gas, nostr:npub1jcjxjg92200kdp8guw8sysg8gr0ez29hahrfdy49h30hgnkpa4kqfvmtwx how wrong am i?
😂🤣😂 no laughing gas but we do have roast dinners - no joke, my friends parents were giving everyone alcohol and making roast dinner while people were having sex and smoking etc. etc. was strange to me but they found it normal 🥹
The parents found it normal? 🫣
Yeahh I figured they preferred him to party at their house than anywhere else so they didn’t mind it but it was rather odd to me 🥹
I think you’re right
Yeahhh we aren’t that cool I’m afraid 🥹😭 I’ve been to two British house parties and I think I’ve seen enough 😂🤣🙏🏽
I’m gonna need you to elaborate on those two house parties?
Is that where trannies dress up in showers pretending to look good while needing a kidney to beat hepatitis as a severe alcoholic?
Although not even remotely related?!
Deviance trying, but not easy enough and putting their wombs and other organs at risk.
Seen the logs, right?
First one was a Halloween bonfire night party. It was November and I felt cold and out of place 🥹 was 17 and his parents (one was a retired police officer) made me drink a glass of wine which made me tipsy but then I recovered cos had water the rest of the night. But it also meant I was freezing cos all the doors and windows were open and nobody else felt the cold because they were all pissed.
Then I go in the kitchen for water and find his parents making roast dinner as if it’s a normal Saturday night and my friend just eating with his parents like there weren’t people having sex in his downstairs toilet and doing drugs in the garden. It was bizarre. A guy started talking to me about how Disney was evil and he smelled like beer.
Then someone tried to get me to smoke ( I almost did it to be polite 🙈) but then the guy whos party it was stopped her, and I very much appreciated him stepping in. Actually developed a crush on him after that 😅 when I went to school the next week I found him and gave him a kiss on the cheek to thank him (made him close his eyes before I did it cos I’d never done that before).
I was wearing a little black dress at the party and a witch hat that I had worked really hard on and some guy kept stealing it 🥹. I never went back to the house for it though.
Then his friend kept asking for my spot on the sofa and getting me to sit on his lap (I sat on the edge of his knees so nothing sus) and he kept asking me to kiss him but I wouldn’t and I explained that I hadn’t kissed anyone yet and I was waiting for the right guy and he would nod like he understood then ask again 🙈 🥹he was very drunk, he told his friends that he loved me 🤦🏽♀️.
Then he got me to slow dance with him and I remember thinking he reminded me of a Disney villain.
My friend fancied him and I felt bad cos I didn’t want him near me, but had 0 backbone to say no. She didn’t seem upset though which is good.
About 5 years later he becomes a somewhat famous British rapper and then a few years after that he got cancelled cos he was mistreating his girlfriend… he was rather pushy but goodness knows 🤷🏽♀️
The next Halloween house party was when I was 25 I think and it was lovely. Met wonderful people, had interesting conversations and it was warm 😍 no one pushed drugs or alcohol on me. The only strange thing was on the way there - cos I was dressed as an angel and my friend was the devil, drunk people kept confessing their sins to me asking for forgiveness 🥹
Glad I went to both though, was an experience haha
Yeahhh if you don’t know someone really well, you wouldn’t touch them, it’s just not done. And if you do, it’s seen as very forward and the person would have to really like you to let you get away with it 😭.
If you tried to massage someone at a house party it means you most likely want to have sex with them. If you accept, it means you most likely want to have sex with them. It’s not seen as just a friendly gesture here 😂 in public too it’s like telling everyone you want to sleep with the person 😳 the thought making me blush 🙈🙏🏽.
If I did that at my work party they would think I was initiating an orgy 😂🤣😂🤣. Would definitely stick to doing it with girlfriends that know me really well ☺️🥹🙏🏽
Yeah they would be horrified. I remember I told my manager I thought Santa was real and she just brushed right past it after a worried look 😂🤣😂 she’s wonderful 🥹💜. Haha I remember that paperclip! Yepp HR would be sending me awkward emails the next day 😌
Wait your teacher was giving you a back massage?? 🤔🤔🤔
I avoided that when she mentioned it. I didn’t want her to realize some childhood trauma in a thread.
Is it not normal physical education stuffs? 😧😱 is normal no? We were all learning to massage each other after 🥹
and the teacher was just there watching y’all?
uhm, help, anybody?
Yeah 🥹 but she was helping us I think 🥲
maybe overreaction tho
still weird
Is it normal for a teacher to put a handcuff thing on your finger ? 😳 
?!?!?
🫢 somebody tell her pls
He was a science teacher and he was just showing me how it worked I think 😳 I had a crush on him so I freaked out internally when he was holding my hand, but he just wanted to show me I think, then he left it on my finger haha that’s normal cos it was in front of a few others 🥹 Yeahh that one is normal, almost forgot about it haha
Like the Chinese finger cuff?
Nah this one was used for wrists usually but he put it around my finger instead, it’s like a zip tie 🤔 think that’s the right word 😅
Zip ties, large ones, can be used for handcuffs and there are very specific techniques to break them if you ever find yourself in one... But, uh... That's all I'm gonna say.
hahhahhha
Hmmm 🤔 So not like a proper massage then?
I don’t think so 🥹 my top was on ☺️💜 that’s normal right?
It’s difficult to give a good shoulder massage with a layer of fabric in between. I did have at least one teacher who would put their hands on your shoulders, maybe slightly rub them while looking at your work. I see people who sexualize contact or situations that were completely innocent and natural. My thing is was the touch wanted and was it comfortable? If it wasn’t were your boundaries respected immediately.
Ooo I think she went all over my back, I remember cos I went stiff as a board 😂🤣 I didn’t want it done, she just went for me first to show the others and I was like ‘oh okay’ 😅
Oh you were the demonstration dummy
Yes exactly! But he only showed a few of us 🥲 why are adults so strange for
If my kid told me this I would probably freak out ngl
It’s not normal for teachers to stare at you either is it? Or make you do physical education in your underwear in primary school when you purposefully forget your kit cos you don’t want to do it? Anyone offering therapy on nostr? 😂🤣 asking for a friend 🙏🏽
Hahahhaha yeah, that was probably smarter 😅
love how pablo just appears out of nowhere pointing out the sus 🤣🤣🤣
👀
Yeahh I thought that was weird too 🤔🥹 but it’s okay cos she made everyone in class watch 🙏🏽 it was for physical education and she said I was stressed and was trying to help me I think.
WHAT?!
Is it bad? 😱😱 I didn’t enjoy it cos it was hard to relax with her touching me, she said I needed work cos I had a lot of built up tension and was trying to fix it, but then I figured it’s okay no? It’s not like we were alone 🥹 is it weird? I went to an all girl school so it’s not so strange right?
Who gets drunk at a work function? Who gets drunk after two drinks?
I’m a lightweight. I can’t pregame anything. I’ve also been known to ask bartenders to fake making an alcoholic beverage or go light on the alcohol. I’ve seen plenty of people stupid drunk at work events. Even seen a guy out of his mind on molly at the Christmas party.
^ This. Buy an overpriced bottled water. They're good to hide behind (socially). Sip during silences.
(And try to stay off your phone, unless you're in Hong Kong. Easier said than done, I know!)
Thanks Scurvydog 🥹🙏🏽💜 I kind of don’t drink much but I might get a Diet Coke, maybe it will give me a sugar rush haha 🫂🙏🏽 might help, or I might talk faster than usual… ☺️