Nostr

What motivates you?

When I was young and well-meaning adults asked me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I responded, "A butterfly" despite knowing that can't be. I used this well into my teens in part because I had no idea and in part to watch them squirm because they dared assume I should know such things...

Now I'm in my mid-thirties and in my final year of university. But I don't want to do the things that I entered university for (Gov foreign policy analyst). I should be writing assignments now but I can't. I used to use nice daydreams of where I could go with my degree to motivate me, but it no longer works.

It's been a struggle for over six months and apparently the fear of failing isn't even enough to keep me going.

Tell me, what should I do in this situation?

#grownostr #StudentLife #HelpMe

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Discussion

Nobody 2y ago

#asknostr

𝔼𝕣𝕪𝕟 𝔹𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠 2y ago

My advice is to keep in mind that sunk cost is a fallacy. That can hurt, and it’s so much easier to say than to do, but you can also look at where all your experiences have taken you and still value that. Maybe write up a list of skills/experiences you’ve acquired on this track that you can apply elsewhere for CV purposes.

Another idea is maybe all you need is a break to defeat some burnout. Maybe stepping away for a little while will refresh your interest in what you wanted to do before.

Nobody 2y ago

That's actually great advice, thanks for putting the time in to respond! 🫂

I guess you are right. Once I'm finished, even if I don't want gov work, finishing proves something to myself and others and could pave the way for something desirable, even if I've never had a deep desire to chase.

If I write two large essays in the next two weeks, I'll have three months off before my final semester begins. For now, I'll stop whining and go work on it for the next four hours, after that I'll allow a small wine-fuelled pity party to end the day.

𝔼𝕣𝕪𝕟 𝔹𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠 2y ago

Go for it! 😊 an essay a week sounds doable!

Paul 2y ago

There are avenues that could leverage your degree but that you might feel more fulfilled. Have you considered writing for an outlet like https://antiwar.com ?

Nobody 2y ago

I hadn't but now that you mention it sites like anti-war could be considered the flip side of the same coin 🤔 I will have to consider this deeper. But first of all, off to work on this report for a few hours.

[ARCHIVED] Jay 2y ago

I don't have good advice. Good advice is hard to give.

I'd suggest reading Man's Search For Meaning and The Alchemist.

What motivates me is a passion to know the truth of things and to use my efforts as investments in myself and my future. Maybe less thought of what I want to be or what I want to do. Maybe more thought on what I don't want to be and what I don't want to do.

Nobody 2y ago

That's an interesting take. I was using 'not failing this semester' to keep me going before but it's lost all utility now...

I think I stressed less about what I wanted to do when I didn't know the truth. Learning it seems to have done me a huge disservice. I shall have to think about ways to utilise it and see if I can't use it as motivation. Thanks, there's alot to think about. I'll look up those books when I'm on holidays.

[ARCHIVED] Jay 2y ago

I believe you can make it though this semester. Sometimes it's not the subject or the work or the reward that can motivate you, but how you do it.

Just general things:

Work in a clean environment.

Take long walks.

Eat real food.

Get plenty of sleep.

Touch grass and bask in the sun.

Talk to people in person.

Be mindful of your thoughts and actions.

🇮🇹 Ṭø§Č̣āṄɛĻĻø 🇮🇹 2y ago

Nostradamus 2y ago

Be a butterfly.

Nobody 2y ago

Tempting.. Sure sounds easier than being a person

Nobody 2y ago

Thanks for your encouragement today random #plebs 🫂💜

I really appreciate your input. I got a few hours of fruitful efforts in with your help and now it's time to sip wine and wind down.

The Beave 2y ago

I've been to college 5 times. I'm a welder. I love my work. What else do you like to do?

Nobody 2y ago

I enjoyed waitressing actually before I lost my job because of coof restrictions. But for some reason people expect more from me. When talking about this lack of motivation with my hubby I said, "at the end of this I might just go back to waitressing and work my way up to managing the FoH." and he said, "You know you're made for more than that." That's probably my real problem, I've spent ages passionate about weird things and just going for it and people seem to think that means that I'm special, but I've looked inside and there's nothing.

The Beave 2y ago

You're capable of more, but, I get it. So am I. I used to be so smart and was on track to do #bigthings. Then I got off track, made one really dumb decision and have been riding it the consequences of that ever since. (Joining the army was the worst thing I ever did to myself.) I can't really give you good advice. I can say that sometimes not knowing is a good thing.

Nobody 2y ago

I've been telling myself, "it's okay to not know" and telling well-meaning, curious people who ask what I can do at the end of my degree, "I'm not sure yet." But, provided I don't fail this semester, this time next year I'll be graduated, then what am I supposed to do?

Hmmm, somehow, I can't imagine joining the army would do good things for you. But I have no doubt recruiting campaigns make it sound amazing.

The Beave 2y ago

Hmmm... Do you ever message off of nostr? I have some personal anecdotes that I could share but I don't wish them to be on an open platform in perpetuity.

Nobody 2y ago

I DM'd you. But we'll have to have that conversation tomorrow coz it's about time to sleep 🌛 GN