Men tend to assume that intelligent women will be unnattractive and I have no idea why that is.
Discussion
Is it perhaps because men can't identify intelligent females?
We're scared...
I've actually sort of noticed this.
Men seem to confuse raw intelligence with an even temperament and hard facial features, perhaps because they associate intelligence with masculinity.
Female physicists, engineers, nerds, etc, tend to be bald, fat or have a disastrous appearance that they're not even aware of.
It's not perception, it's just reality.
A female brain that works all the time like a male brain adapts to producing more testosterone. Testosterone has physiological effects on the entire body.
Once a female engineer wanted to cheat her husband with me.
I wanted so hard to yell at her face "you're becoming bald and your acne disgusts me", but I couldn't.
Otherwise she was fine, but the engineer life was turning her into a man.
Men generally don't care about a woman's intelligence or income. Men are wired to seek youth and fertility from their partners, whereas women are wired to seek provisioning and protection from theirs. This is broadly speaking and simplified of course and can vary depending on individual personality traits and preferences. Additionally, intelligence really isn't the most important factor when it comes to finding a suitable wife which most men would likely admit to desiring on some level. Several desirable traits come to mind that one might seek first, such as patience, compassion, family orientation, kindness, nurturing and compliance.
TL;DR
We recognize intelligent women, we just don't care about that.
Men like to say this, but if they had two identical women to choose from to marry, but one had an IQ of 80 and the other of 120, most men would choose the one with the more-similar IQ, with a tendency to the right.
So, I don't think they value intelligence much in its own right, but they do tend to mate assortatively by intelligence because otherwise it can be difficult to communicate and develop intimacy and romantic love.
Men at the far-right end of the IQ curve seem to desire that intellectual intimacy more than other men because they experience it so rarely with a woman.
At least, that's my personal experience.
They tend to get onitis extremely rarely, but then full-obsession mode because the women they prefer are so rare, so they don't view them as interchangeable with random-chick-at-bar.
There's a chronic supply shortage at the right end, as women tend toward the mean.
It's out of necessity. Women can't understand what I talk. Blank stares kill me.
Also dumb women do stupid things like tattoos or drinking at loud music places. Those things kill me. Can't stand any of that shit.
She must be intelligent enough to entertain deep intellectual conversations and do creative stuff, but humble enough to not lose submissiveness, always keeping cheerfulness and tenderness alive.
And she can disagree with me all she wants, as long as she doesn't begin having ideas about "strong independent woman" shit or becomes angry.
Angry/depressive/panic are big no-nos. Become all the smart you want, you deserve it.
But don't ever think that that gives you the right to have "the last word" or become angry/depressive/vengeful or panic.
There are never real reasons for any of that when you're with me.
Trust me, I am the man, I will guide you through this. Otherwise, get lost.
Like an engineer trying to tell the captain of a large ship what to do.
It's just wrong, no matter how intelligent the engineer is, he's blind compared to the captain.
Oh, I get it. I've tried to hook some of single guy friends with dumb-but-cute girls and they're like ugh, don't ever do that again. One said it was like spending the evening out with a pretty houseplant.
And my husband gets visibly frustrated talking to them. Starts speaking louder and waving his hands, as if she were deaf, rather than merely dense.
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LMAO
Agreed. Intelligence is on the list for sure. It hinges a lot on whether she's nice. I think most guys would sooner date a nice dumb girl than an Intelligent mean one, if that's the choice available.
Yes. In part at the very least.
There are signals of beauty that can be seen from a far. Intelligence doesn't, and can really only be determined by talking and listening to someone.
Yes, but I'm under the impression that men who talk with me can't judge my intelligence accurately.
Women tend to have high verbal acuity and are verbose and studious, etc. and men confuse that with intellect.
If they are speaking with 5 different chatty, pretty girls, they can't tell which is smarter than which.
15 minutes of straight talk are enough to tell anyone's level of intelligence.
If a man can't tell, that's because he isn't intelligent.
To state the obvious
I would say it‘s the opposite rather:
Men (and also women) tend to assume that attractive women are not intelligent.
Or this.
Well, most attractive women wouldn't be intelligent, as intelligence is much rarer than attractiveness, so that actually makes some sense.
Intelligent women are relatively rare and highly intelligent women are like unicorns.
I prefer intelligence. 60% for intelligence and 40% for beauty.
I think most men are mating assortatively by intelligence without realizing it. They just think "we get along well", "we share interests/hobbies", "we vibe", "she's fun to hang out with", "she's a good conversationalist", "I like the witty banter", "she gets my sense of humor", "she's a good friend", etc.
They don't realize that these are all proof of her having a similar level of intelligence.
Exactly, you Take the words right from my mouth👍
I'm used to this effect. 😁
Men tell me that they don't care about female intelligence, but you rarely see unusually intelligent men keeping dumb women around for long. Not even as a friend. They just run out of things to talk about and get bored and tired of having to explain their humor.
At the latest, when they want to marry and have kids, she gets the boot. Smart men want smart kids, they want someone to talk to, and they aren't going to let some dimwit have direct access to their bank account or their Bitcoin wallet.
What men care about less, or not at all, is credentialism or career. That is, at best, a class signal or a sign of intelligence.
☺️
To the advantages you mentioned about a smart woman, I must add that she performs better in difficult life situations. A smart and strong companion is very useful we face challenging situations. A smart and strong woman is truly a blessing.
Yes, this is true, but these advantages are all things that make her more valuable as a long-term companion, not things that make her more physically attractive.
I think a lot of older, intelligent men eventually hit a bargaining stage, where they start talking themselves out of desiring an intelligent woman because there aren't enough to go around and they can be difficult to keep because the competition is so fierce.
They often sound sort of bitter and a bit mean, but I think they're being realistic.
Although, I know a few men at the 140+ level who would rather remain single, than stick their dick in stupid.
To each his own, I guess.
I actually know quite a few like that.
It sort of surprises me, as you wouldn't think men would care. A nut is a nut, right?
But men can be picky.
It seems that there are a lot of intelligent men around you. Intelligent men mostly prefer intelligent women (some of them prefer dumb chicks), while less intelligent men mostly are not attracted to intelligent women because they think they are not submissive enough.
I'm surrounded by men on the right-end, it's true.
I do know some wealthy not-so-intelligent men and they envy the other men their wives. There's a social stigma against dating anyone who seems like a bimbo, when you're in the upper-middle or lower-upper class.
There's also the problem with sons. Everyone wants at least one smart boy and smart mothers are how you usually acquire one.
We're at the age when the sons are leaving school and starting in the trades or at college and it's obvious who had which mom.
Although, it's probably not any less valuable to have smart daughters. You can share your interests with them more and they can get you smart son-in-laws.
Smart girls are daddy's girls.
that is weird! I thought there is no difference between boys and girls in the West. I mean, for a company owner, the gender of the child does not matter, it is enough that he or she is capable and competent enough.
son and daughter
It matters because of the child's own interests. Girls in the West are emancipated enough to admit that they don't actually enjoy dads' line of work.
What girls often do is start out in dad's specialty, meet a man from that specialty, and then her husband takes over the management and she can switch to part-time or just sit on the board. I see that a lot.
Has nothing to do with competence.
Oh, I see.
This is actually a different argument than saying "more intelligence is inherently better". I think that's something most women would say about men, but it doesn't really work the other way around.
For men, the correlary would probably be partner count. Women tend to want a man of similar or slightly-higher partner count. So, it's a compatibility factor, rather than an absolute good.
An absolute good for men would be income. More money is usually better.
An absolute good for women would be beauty. More beauty is usually better.
You have to go back to Aristotel's lesson on the male and female virtues and the lesser versus the greater.
What I've found fascinating is that although most men don't think "more intelligence is better", female intelligence is not inherently unattractive.
If anything, some relatively unintelligent men covet highly intelligent women as potential wives. Perhaps some instinctive urge to improve their gene pool, or some socio-economic ambition. There's definitely more competition for intelligent women than unintelligent ones, and they tend to be more selective, so there's a bit of a trophy-effect to snagging one.
It is true that some women will deliberately dress dowdy to make it firmly clear to observers that they got their position on merit not favouritism.
And it is also true that useless airheads invest a lot of time in their appearance if its all they have going for them.
Possibly we are looking at different forms of attractiveness - "short term" and "long term" for want of a more technical term.
"Available now, no up-front!" is not a slogan an intelligent woman is likely to personify, but I daresay its a large component of short-term attractiveness...
Ha ha, yeah, there's that, too.
The brighter girls will be more likely to work to tone-down their appearance, and most men just respond to how desperate or "easy" women look.
I guess I'm confusing things by equating "attractive" with "beautiful", when those two things merely overlap. Most attractive women aren't particularly beautiful.
And beautiful women can be intimidating and therefore off-putting.
Maybe we confuse intelligent with verbal and angry? The older and angrier the less attractive?
Also seems to be an assumed correlation with deeper voices.
Anything masculine or aggressive, really.
Deeper voices are OK. Aggressiveness and masculine traits are OK (tomboys are hot). It's really the "intelligence" part, only it.
Women that are too intelligent generally either go too fast (and if you respond with a "wow slow down there, miss" they immediately reject you), or they pretend to be dumb but later on they stab you in the back and go whore around with other men.
Too much "intelligence" is a sign of unsubmissiveness.
It's all about submissiveness.
If you believe yourself "intelligent", want to be "independent", well, go have fun with your toy men, leave me alone, simple as.
You would think this be a little less the case these days considering in film and TV. Female characters are often attractive and intelligent.
Granted, these things don't operate in a vacuum.
And I am assuming that popular culture strongly influences people perceptions.
The perfect woman is intelligent, but humble enough to know that her emotions and lack of recklessness will always be in the way, therefore she depends on her testosterone-driven man to guide her, to open up new ways into the unknown and protect her unconditionally.
Therefore she is intelligent but dependent, submissive and humble, without losing confidence.
Really what we're talking about here is that most "intelligent" women fall for the "strong independent woman" meme and therefore they're worth nothing.
I think dumb women fall for it harder.
Probably because they're surrounded by even-dumber men they don't want to depend upon. Which I can understand.
