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their cache server used sqlite for years

as a kv store

okay SQLite as SQL not a bad idea but

Their architecture strikes me as something dreamt up by the same marketing geniuses that brought us the "Bitcoin is scarce, so let's rename sats to Bitcoin and then everyone can pretend to have one," folks.

Relays sound like they don't have a cache and aren't a server, so let's give people a "cache server"!

it's quite comical how otherwise smart people are missing this when it's right there in nip-01

Because of the name. Relays relay. They pass things on.

That relays usually have a cache, to smooth the data transfer and allow for delayed relaying, is a step more abstract.

As someone whos built a cache server I'm triggered.

if the client has some of the logic then why wrap it all up in the server?