Saw an old friend yesterday. His daughter is about the same age as mine. He said “We can’t say park to her unless we mean it”, in a very serious way 😂
When you say park to her, she starts getting excited and repeats park over and over, goes to the door, puts on her coat and boots. Now they spell the word out if it’s not time to go yet. Hilarious
I thought spelling words was a common thing among parents? We also spell many words, park is one of them :)
I guess he figured this out with park. Sometimes I spell words. I also like to use colourful expressions that the kids can’t possibly understand 😂
They grow up so fast.
Yes they do. Mine started opening doors all by herself this morning
I noticed a lot of parents do that. I don’t have kids yet so I try not to judge but come on lol your kids can’t actually run the household like this right? 😂
Run the household? 😂
The kid is not 2 years old yet. You can hold them in your arms, game over. She’ll just cry a bit
You don’t spell the word because the kid runs the house. They spell it not to have to deal with the screaming and the crying 😂
I know but children are actively learning how to regulate their emotions so these are opportunities for them to learn that we don’t always get what we want
And this is what happens all day every day when they scream and cry. I don’t think you realize how much an 18 month old cries in a day
A lot of parents can’t handle hearing their child crying or in distress. It’s the strangest thing that makes me cringe.
“No you can’t go outside right now.”
*Child screams
“Okay okay”
I think you misunderstand this entirely. In the case of my friend, and a lot of parents, if it’s not time to go, it’s not time to go.
Think of it this way: a young child will scream and cry no matter what. All day every day . If you can say things in a way that limit this, why would you have them cry 80% of the time when it could be 40% of the time?
I understand the logic to avoid the crying and screaming.
What I’m saying is that kids cry more often when parents reinforce the crying. In other words, at some point the child learned that crying is more likely to get them what they want. That was taught to them by the parents. But if they don’t get what they want, crying is less frequent. I’ve seen kids that don’t cry when parents tell them no and the parents never walk on eggshells around them. My friend’s wife works with kids for a living and is really good at that. Her two year old is so fucking smart and never has any tantrums. It’s actually really impressive.
I understand what you think you’re saying but removing one possibility of cries in the day won’t reinforce crying.
Let’s revisit this when you have your own children
The point mahdood is going for is: you do want to reinforce the idea that “crying is not how you get what you want.”
It’s a healthy notion for humans of any age.
I doubt babies know, but I think a 2 year old can start to understand it.
An 18-24 month old gets told no literally 50 times per day. One more time won’t change much in their development
Yea at that age they’re trying to become more independent as they explore the world and what they can do. They’re experimenting what they can get away with. It’s a fun but stressful stage for parents haha
I’m very curious to hear you go through parenting one day
I love kids. I spend a lot of time with my nephews and nieces. I’m their favorite uncle out of 7 total. They prefer me over the grandparents too. But I know having your own kids isn’t the same. It’s easier for me to say this is how it should be done when I’m not sleep deprived and burnt out chasing them around all day😂
Both parents get their 8h daily in this house 🫡😂
Nice! I think the most difficult period is when the newborn is constantly waking you up in the middle of the night. Would you agree? That’s the shit that will get me white hairs lol
No, the most difficult period is when they’re old enough and big enough to knock you on your ass.
Hahaha man if you were a good parent you’ll never have to worry about that
I think each couple is different. Waking up part was pretty straight forward. Get out of bed. Do the steps. Go back to sleep. I feel like around 2 for the first one was the hardest. Managing the tantrums, introducing discipline, agreeing on how to proceed with the other parent, setting the rules.
Lmao thank you for explaining that. I would have never understood that on my own
You’re welcome 🤷🏻♂️
But beyond that, I think it’s a perfect teachable moment for how to express your feelings and communicating what you actually want. Maybe you can even get into making deals with them. Its fun.
“How many sats do I need to zap you for you to shut the fuck up?”
How are you feeling right now node? 😄
Lmao this is not even a story about me. Yet you want to give me a lesson in parenting. Very interesting. Also doesn’t get sarcasm
It’s funny you think someone is trying to give you a lesson. 😄 this whole time I thought we were discussing kids.
Not exactly. You came into the discussion trying to explain to me what Mahdood is saying. I don’t need a translator. If I don’t understand something I ask. I understood his point. I was making mine
I was making my own also, but it sounds like you have some nostr etiquette you’re trying to communicate?
What are you talking about with nostr etiquette?
You literally said : “ the point Mahdood is trying to make is”, in response to my note. You were literally explaining to me what Mahdood was saying, as if I didn’t understand it myself
So you feel like I was patronizing you when I said that. I can see why you feel that way. But I really wasn’t 🤷🏻♂️
Yes thank you. My friend’s wife does that very well, it’s impressive. She waits for her son to stop crying and then she gives him what he wants after he asks for it using his words. I don’t like saying this but it’s kind of like teaching a dog. You want to reward the good behaviors and ignore the bad or block the bad behaviors. My psych professor when I was doing my undergrad told me that lol. Kids are kind of blank slates. They don’t know what works and what doesn’t so they try different things. Crying tugs on our heartstrings so it gets the job done most of the time. But why is it that some children cry while others scream? Why is that some kids will hit themselves on the head to get what they want? The kid that hits himself learned that this gets me what I want because crying and screaming doesn’t work anymore. But these are all learned behaviors reinforced by parents is my point.
I can't use the word "walk" around my dog 😂.
TIL that dogs are like 18 month old kids.
😂😂😂
my cat goes bananas when he hears the sounds of me preparing his din dins and freaks out when he hears the sounds of me getting medicine prepared to squirt icky tasting liquid into his mouth.
higher mammals are all basically 18 month old human level intelligence, and motivation... all about eating and pooping and playing.
you probably can effectively neuter the response actually by using it randomly for no reason repeatedly over a few weeks period and then after they have remembered that walk doesn't mean anything it they will then start to parse "let's go for a walk doggo" instead.
i believe that dogs are known to be able to remember about 150 commands and i think it's about the same for cats, they are similar grade of brain with a fairly different set of instincts.
just brace yourself for lunacy while you decondition "walk" and within a few weeks it will mean nothing and you will be able to anchor a more specific expression instead of having the dog go ballistic while you talk to your friend on the phone about going for a walk in the park.
My cats are the same. I don't know how, but the male one knows exactly when I'm pulling brocoli or lettuce out of the fridge. The female knows when I grab frozen mangoes.
the how is they have toddler brain level intelligence, and at least for the first 4 years or so, they are inquisitive and their brains are very plastic.
my cat was about 6-8 months old when he came in off the street to dine on my offerings and it took about a week for him to start to forget about the nasty medicine regime the vet decreed for him. the regime worked to fix all of his health problems but at the end of it every time i open the fridge or cupboard to prepare a dose of medicine he scoots into a hard to get at part of the house and makes my job a lot more difficult because i have to reach in and grab him by the scruff of the neck and drag him out before i can put the goop in his mouth.
fortunately, that regime is over and even i started to just put the antibiotic in his food instead of directly in his mouth, and a bit over a week of this and he doesn't panic every time he hears me tampering with something in the fridge.
he's pretty much fine now, gingevitis is gone, recovered from the dental surgery and removal of a nasty lump in his mouth from it, his earache is finished and his eye infection is gone.
it was wearing having him have so much aversion to me during this time, and i'm so relieved i can just deal with his normal daily business of feeding and pats and cleaning his toilet.
they really are a lot like toddlers, and that's partly why they are so adorable and endearing and good company to have around, because that level of intelligence a house-mate is easy to get along with once you know all their tricks and preferences.
with the cat, the best part is he asks me to have the lap and then smooches and snuggles for as long as he can get away with and then he jumps off with little prompting when i'm too busy to give him that much time or he gets bored and the night routine is hilarious, he literally takes under 2 minutes to figure out i'm in bed and then up he scoots and it's smooches and he plops himself down usually between my torso and arm and purrs up a storm. then sometimes he sits and cleans for 10 minutes which is annoying, but he's started to learn that annoys me, and basically that he can get away with that if he gets away from me and sits in the corner to do his thing.
the important thing for the pet keeper is to recognise the pet can be taught enough to mostly take care of his needs except for cleaning the potty and dishing out the food. once you get into the groove with them it's all joy and simple duty.
