Nostr Web Client

Years ago, I reached out to a much larger account than mine to share/enquire about an idea. I rambled a bit in my explanation (*gasp!* I know). He came back with roughly:

"Dude, you gotta figure out how to get to the point faster. I don't have time for this."

Now, while i had rambled, it wasn't THAT bad. But i remember really wanting to get defensive and feeling a bit gutted by the response. I had a lot of respect for them.

However, I did stop and think about his perspective. Probably getting an avalanche of DMs, has no idea who i am, busy with 100 other things.

I felt stupid and *wanted* to be angry at him, but i also could see it.

That has stuck with me to this day, and every time I'm writing something, I stop and think "how many of these sentences are really necessary?"

While i still tend to over explain, I've actually been way more conscious about it (and also less insecure when i do ramble 😆). I actually think about the interaction fondly now. It was actually really helpful.

Lesson:

Be frank with people. Staying comfortable and unchallenged only makes you stagnant.

(i deeply feel the irony of a long post about explaining too much, lol... i cut like 3 paragraphs out of this)

@IsabelSydow Queen of Shrimps (but u can call me Dan.) 11mo ago 💬 1

Over explaining can be a symptom of trauma. I have a traumatic brain injury resulting from early childhood thru my late teens physical abuse.

It was not only the beatings, but it was the fact that I wasn't ever heard.

Not being heard, even in a "non- abusive" household will develop connections in our brains that prompt us to communicate one way or another.

You were empathic to try comprehend where their impatience with you came from. This doesn't free them from also having a responsibility to exercise the same consideration towards you.

There are ways to tell someone: this is too long for me, I can't read it all. Could you summarize?

If they were tactful with you, I'd understand your excusing them. But just as I need to push myself harder and harder as I age to be concise; people need to learn to respectfully consider other people's ability or inability to communicate.

My two sats.

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Discussion

ElectronicsQuestions 11mo ago 💬 3

In order to stick with the theme, I deleted a long answer to write a short one: It seems like bitcoiners/nostriches are one by one joining, and trying to spread, a psychologically masochistic cult whose unwritten motto is: blame everything on yourself, take whatever shit people throw at you (except fiat and shitcoins) and change yourself to suit others.

This will probably receive hate, and so will probably your comment, for "blaming others of your own problems" "victim mentality" etc. because they can't handle the truth that people are different and come from different circumstances - Empathy=0.

Guy Swann 11mo ago 💬 2

Take responsibility,

stay open to self reflection,

be confident, and stop getting offended by everything

≠

blame yourself for everything,

take shit from people,

and be a masochist.

ElectronicsQuestions 11mo ago

It is more about what people put in these words. Not particularly related to this context, but "take responsibility" is a phrase used by governments (at least the Swedish one, but I think more too) to say "abide by the laws that we have made" or "do what we want in excess of the laws that we made" when talking about citizens and companies, and "put more laws in place" when talking about themselves. I don't think many bitcoiners agree with that definition. If that definition is on one end, and "hold your own keys, store them securely" etc. is on the other end, that's quite a wide spectrum.

"Stay open to self reflection" The people I'm talking about are extremely selective about this. If the "self reflection" reinforces the beliefs they already have, they'll do it, otherwise no. Probably a human thing, and to some extent the opposite of self reflection, but they brag about it consistently. Bordering, if not outright, hypocrisy.

"Be confident" - not in something I don't understand. That's downright lying, and can be dangerous. (e.g. "sure, I'll take down this tree..."). I believe this is part of an American/European difference, that I've noticed since someone pointed it out. Americans see Europeans as defeatist, not confident, while Europeans see Americans as bragging and arrogant. While we probably think similarly enough, we communicate it way differently.

"stop being offended" - It's a false premise to begin with that you can control your emotions - what I guess you're getting at is you can refrain from showing it to others, and that is the definition of taking shit from people. A big reason we have got to the point we have in overreach by governments is precisely because either too few people are offended, or too few people are showing it, through letters, protests, etc.