ok im back to share something else really unflattering about me

merry christmas or whatever

and also, this may be helpful for anyone else in a jam, or maybe not, maybe it is a weird workaround solution that works for few or just me

it is unflattering objectively

it isnt a nice thing to feel or think, im not recommending it, im just saying, like yea use if in a really tight jam im just saying it isnt attractive or complimentary to anyone involved, think about it long enough, and def highly offensive and objectifying to the other party

anyway,

when i am excruciatingly lonely, i ask myself: how much of my idea of being in a relationship is about gender validation

as in, soothing

being validation, too. 'i guess i am a being enough that someone wants to hang out a lot. at least made it to family pet status.'

is that not lowkey on some sociopath shit and also objectifying or what

like thanks for being the presence that validates me by wanting to cuddle that's crazy

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why i am saying this is cos if i ask myself

ok lonely who gives a fuck

friends exist

when it is about not friends

more than friends

and i ask why

i dont have a good reason

like, i wanna be a priority like im king of the fucking universe

that doesnt sound very nice

and ultimately yea it isnt about being a priority as much as it is about validation

objectively, i know this isnt rare rare like psych wise people have said like: you bring out the man in me or whatever

and that is a validation thing

im just saying i dont think it is nice to be like: thanks to you i feel like more of a person

im pretty sure that is objectifying

like thanks for being into me that helps remind me that i am a human woman on earth person

it just isnt a good reason to feel lonely

is the jam that can be slipped out of

that is an internal thing and issue

and it isnt good to use other people for that

so yea if that's helpful to anyone,

that's that and it is helpful to me when i remember that and return to that, the remembering