Faced with the strange possibility of needing to exit my current job in the middle of one of the worst times to find a tech job. 😬
Being emotionally abused at work is not acceptable though. If I didn’t have a little lady at home depending on me for healthcare and stability I would go work in a factory for a while and say fuck it.
When my field went remote, I remember this switchover acutely.
“If you’re gonna yell at me like this I’m just going to hang up and I’ll have a new job Monday.”
Good luck to you, this economy blows
I'm sorry to read this, I hope you find a way to exit and still meet your needs so you can continue to provide for your family.
It always works out. Thankfully I have them bent over a barrel even if they don’t realize it, so the exit will be on my terms. Just going to be rough until I find a replacement job because they’ve created a very hostile environment that crossed over the line into truly unacceptable a long time ago.
🫂❤️
Anyway to focus on the parts you like and ignore the bullshit?
I’ve had shitty administrators and luckily I was able to hide by running clubs at lunch, coaching sports teams etc, and avoided any and all interactions with them.
Unfortunately it’s the two owners, both of which are direct reports for me due to the way my position works. The actual owners of a 50 year old family owned business are fixing to wreck this company because they woke up and decided they were broke and needed more money.
Keep in mind, the one I work with the most owns three houses and six vehicles - all paid in cash.
Then I’ve got no advice. Worst than a post turtle 😂, I am.
If you’re anything like me, which I believe you are, you’re underestimating your skills and what you could offer a business/employer that values you. You’ve got more opportunities than you are aware of.
Make sure you fuck them hard on your way out. It’s a fleeting feeling, but feels good for a moment. You deserve that.
When I go, it’s going to hurt them. Nobody is irreplaceable, but I’m doing four people’s jobs, at less than half the going rate for one of them.
Some fucked up misplaced sense of loyalty has kept me there for 20+ years. Insane. My family deserves better.
I know the feeling. There was a moment that sealed the deal with me, when my employer showed their true colours too. I was loyal, worked my ass off, but then they showed me that their family and business trumped everything, regardless of what I did. Don’t feel bad, they wouldn’t if they were in your shoes.
I don’t anymore. This has become about mitigating impact to the dependents in my life. Aside from that, they finally killed any emotional investment I have.
I struggle with the strategy and believing I can do better though, you were right about that - but my family’s needs trump my feelings. They need me to do better, so I fucking will.
We all need cheerleaders and people to motivate us towards being better men, cause all of our shit stinks, and we aren’t perfect.There isn’t anything wrong with that. We aren’t meant to do it alone. You’ll figure it out. I know things😜.
Define abuse?
I’ve been constantly referred to as useless, stupid, overpaid, threatened with my job, denied benefits for several years (until this month after a fight) all while having three new roles added to me in the last year.
What type of work? Developer?
C++ and C#. Yeah.
US location or International?
US. Midsouth.
Something ain’t adding up here.
-20+ years.
-Lack of benefits (assuming health, dental, profit share etc)
-Small outfit, family owned (why do they even need a dev?)
-Abusive leadership
Are you a good developer? Independent, proactive etc?
I’ve done startups for the last 15 years and can tell you that Devs run the show. We did in sales as well but Devs rule the world right now.
Oh it’s easy. I’ve worked at the same place since I was a teenager and never worked anywhere else in this field.
Lack of formal education is also an issue. No degree.
As for being good, I have a lot to learn, but I’ve consumed literally everything in my path for years. I literally live code. I code at work, I code at home. I’m humble enough to know I could grow by working in a team, and I don’t know everything, but it’s the only thing that makes sense to me - so I’ve done it, a lot.
And they need a dev because we automate our own equipment. The work involves 3d visualization, CV, and motion control.
Yup. I can visualize it now.
You need to break away from that my friend. Ironically, you’re at more risk in a job like that than you are taking a risk in finding something better. Even if it takes a few hops to find a real home. And you’ll grow as a developer, especially with the right team & mentor.
Ahhh. That makes more sense. It’s a form of abuse. Especially since u started there young. Abusers play on that loyalty. Or perceived loyalty.
Ok. Got it.
So you don’t have a technical/Dev mentor there, correct?
Let me noodle on this one. I may have some ideas that could push in a direction.
The best time to find a new job is when you already have one
Go on Linkedin and network. Send in some applications.
🫂
Sorry you’re going through this, it sucks 😣
Just get a factory job, hell union work pays good anyway
Also, one thing I've realized after getting laid off times,
There's always another job, and it's usually better than the one you had
I'm in the same boots. This is how the employers slowly breaking the loyalty. Our Technical PM team was just disassembled in the middle of a global telecom project from the VP level. They do not care about what we are doing, just lowering the headcount.
Look this opportunity as a huge chance to switch. Stay positive!
Sorry man I hope you find a solution that gets you out of there. You really should not have to deal with that kind of shit from anyone.
