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pollyanna
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I never read that, but my kids only listen to me when I'm really certain and confident in what I'm saying and willing to help them do what I'm telling. when I'm distracted saying and repeating they don't do what I'm telling and challenge me even more (so I can come back to earth and give them the limit they need). sorry if this has nothing to do with the book, but I love talking about parenting and education. did you read this book? would you like to talk more about it?

I didn't read a lot of patenting books, I think, only one from Laura Gutman "maternity coming face to face to your own shadow". I didn't feel guilty by the time I read it, maybe because I was pregnant and wasn't relating to my kids outside yet, but I heard it can go this way. I read "o poder do discurso materno" from Laura Gutman and I really liked it, I didn't find any English translation for that. I read a few John Holt books, but they were not about patenting, but education and unschooling.

I couldn't read the entire book, but I read a few chapters. it was very touching and I was creating practices each chapter. it was great to remember that. maybe I'll try again. have you read it?

eu escrevi isto em 2021, mas fiquei com vontade de compartilhar aqui agora:

quando eu me dei conta de que muitas das minhas dores atuais, que pareciam tão inéditas, tinham sua raiz no passado, muitas vezes lá na infância, eu comecei a me interessar por retornar lá naquela dor original e senti-la pela primeira vez. vivi processos muito interessantes, de muita abertura, fazendo isso.

mas fiz tanto essas imersões que cada vez menos dava importância à dor que eu sentia no presente e que me permitia acessar as outras. comecei a ressentir não mais o passado, mas o presente.

eu comecei a usar a dor pra descobrir raizes. as flores, os frutos viraram só desculpa pra chegar bem perto da terra e ver o que é que nutria ou desvitalizava a árvore. eu me esqueci de ver a beleza da flor, me esqueci de cheirar seu perfume. me esqueci de comer e saborear o fruto. e por pouco não fiquei soterrada.

até que me esbarrei com um corpo vivo e que sentia dor. uma dor física simples que gerava um mar de emoções intensas. e eu não entendi aquela dor porque não alcançava a raiz. assim eu pensava.

isso me irritou profundamente porque aquela dor não era nada, não podia ser levada em conta por si só, se não tivesse profundidade. e devia ter, claro, mas a dor também era algo. ela não era só uma representação. ela estava ali. eu não ouvia a dor e por isso não acessava a raiz. eu estava amortecida buscando ver algo além.

e me doeu reconhecer que as dores doem aqui também e que elas precisam ser também vividas e não somente usadas pra acessar algo mais profundo que elas podem trazer.

na verdade, sentir a dor agora, esta que justo está aqui, já é um acesso a tudo o que a envolve. cheirar de verdade a flor é reconhecer as raízes da árvore. sentir mesmo a dor é acessar a profundidade dela.

would you like to talk in private about the emotional connections to the pain? it's not something that will solve the pain, but another way to look at it. maybe you already did that, but I thought I could offer just in case you didn't.

I recognize this feeling. what I do is just stay with the feeling. observe the thoughts that come with it, observe the attempt to control the reality trying to find out what will happen, and let it all go as clouds in the sky. feel the surface where my body rests and feel what comes in my body. is it a pain in the chest? a cold in my belly? and I notice the pain getting the words out of the way, just feeling that.

maybe that you give you an insight about something that is about to change or is already changing in your life and your relationships. but even if it doesn't, you're now free to act without so many thoughts that appear to be true, but aren't (at least at this moment). you're free to be in touch with what happens now and your more open to deal with that.

Replying to Avatar kat

#GM #MentalHealthAwareness #RecoveryJourney

Mental health has been my primary struggle. About two years ago, I thought I had resolved my issues with medication. However, I've come to realize that I wasn't as stable as I believed.

In an effort to improve my life, I quit drugs and nicotine. I was even planning to have a baby in the coming year. Despite these positive steps, my mental health took an unexpected turn, leading to a distressing incident.

One day, I impulsively jumped from the third story of my condo apartment. This wasn't a suicide attempt, but rather a misguided act of curiosity and a cry for help. My neighbor witnessed the jump and tried to assist, but I crawled away into my home. The police and emergency responders found me inside and took me to the hospital.

At the hospital, I learned that I had suffered a broken spine and a fractured foot. I underwent surgery the following morning, which was successful. Now, I have to wear braces to maintain proper posture and keep my bones in place. The physical pain has been, and continues to be, intense.

I'm currently in the process of recovery, which is expected to take about eight weeks. Despite the severity of this incident, I believe I'm improving mentally. I've had suicidal attempts in the past, but I've come to realize that the pain they cause isn't worth my life. I genuinely feel I'm in a better place mentally than before, but I'm concerned that after this jump, others might not believe me.

This experience has made me realize that I need to address my mental health more thoroughly and seek proper treatment to prevent such incidents in the future. I'm committed to my recovery, both physical and mental, even if it's challenging to convince others of my progress.

I saw your previous posts and wanted to ask you how you were, but I didn't know how to ask. I'm glad you came to talk. I'm sending you a hug and I'm here if you want to talk more about it. really.

I don't feel that as a poison. when we just allow ourselves to feel it with no judgement, it gives us energy to change things.

but maybe we're talking about different things. what do you mean by anger?

muitas vezes a lua me ajuda a me lembrar onde estão meus pés.

quando eu vim postar esta foto, me lembrei do que estou vivendo agora. vivi um período longo de deixar muitas coisas irem embora e agora me sinto aberta e com mais espaço para crescer. não que isso me leve a fazer coisas grandiosas. mas apenas crescer em presença em cada momento simples da vida.

quando a vida parecer estagnada, sinta o vento tocar sua pele, observe o movimento da sua respiração

eu estava evitando a alegria que as coisas simples da vida me trazem. mas por todos os lados tudo insistia que eu descansasse na leveza dos sorrisos. eu tinha medo de me render à vida, de estar exposta a viver com os sentidos aguçados. mas esse é o único caminho. então escrevo com um sorriso leve no rosto, só agradecida por estar aqui agora.

that's a topic I'm very interested in. last week my mother was telling me how she wants her funeral to be. I'm also interested in palliative care. two years ago I read a lot about these themes and it touches me deeply.

this is beautiful