If you want to dig deep into statins, cholesterol, heart disease, and related topics, this has been a very comprehensive article. This SubStack writer is worth checking out as well, overall.
#health #carnivore #seedoil #statin #cholesterol
To continue a little further down the path of history of religions, the important question to ask is why?
Religions are sustained (if not created) for a desired effect on a population. We can call this social engineering. They may be instituted to bring people together for economic reasons, for instance to serve a populace in agriculture or development/building projects. They may be adopted to generate wealth for the powerful. They may be used to incite people to violence on behalf of the state, or to divide people so as to distract them from the actions of the state.
Religions are statist, make no mistake. This is not the same as saying beliefs are statist, but when those beliefs are manipulated by the state, for the benefit of the state, then we are once again dealing with statism.
This is why I find it contradictory and hilarious that religions such as Christianity and Islam have such a strong following among bitcoin "sovereigns". The very nature and intent of those religions is statist. Whatever happened to don't trust, verify? Good luck out there, but all I see is a divergence that cannot be resolved without abandoning either bitcoin or religion.
So far so good. It's a rare day when I have nothing really scheduled in the to do list, so not sure what to make of it just yet.
For me, the most impactful things have often been small things:
- A like or a smile, even a nod.
- showing up
- letting me know I was seen/heard
I've found larger gestures are more for the other person, as forms of self-validation.
I can tell you that almost every horrible event that I have been through could have been made much less horrible by things as simple as these.
I don't think I've found my people yet. I post random shit on here that's going through my skullbucket, all of which I'm more than happy to discuss, pull apart, reimagine, grind on for a bit, whatever. And this echo chamber is just crickets. If I say bitcoin or something, maybe I get a like or two.
Maybe I'm not good at engaging discussion. Maybe I'm too cerebral, or posit my ideas too forcefully or something. I'm fine with it being me, but I'd want to work on that and be more conversational. Maybe it's because I'm not a dev, and couldn't care less about zaps. Or maybe I just haven't found my people.
No worries, I'll keep following those who post content I find interesting, liking posts, and writing down my mental blather. At least this is a good place to diary thoughts, even if I am just leaving notes for myself.
GN. Tick tock next note.
Unfortunately the dates don't quite line up, I was off by a year. My mental crisis was fall of 2021, I didn't quit the statin until fall 2022. Doesn't mean the statin and poor diet didn't have a part in kicking my head in for a bit, but I can't say definitively that removing the statin had an immediate impact on my mental health. Nor can I say that going carnivore did; that didn't happen until April 2023.
Glad I could share all of this, though - I may have shared some of it before, but I'm not shy about talking about mental health, including my own.
GN (if I don't think of more stuff I want to write down.)
Watching Ben Wehrman pod with Dr. Morales (thank you both by the way), and the Dr just put something together that I hadn't considered before.
I'd heard about statins and dementia, but he mentioned a "transitory" dementia.
Before I sought professional help for some mental health issues I may or may not have been facing, I went through a pretty dark time - this was fall, like October/November a few years ago. I got caught up in thinking that brain chemicals (including those affected by what we ingest) were having so much of an effect on my mind that I was having trouble trusting in my own decisions. This is something of an existential crisis, but really concerning for myself, as I value myself as a problem solver and decision maker. Calling that ability into question really threw me for a loop. I was also questioning whether or not I might be somewhat sociopathic, or at least have some kind of disaffective disorder, as I was experiencing what I believed was a lack of emotion and feeling.
That was one factor in reaching out to a mental health professional to discuss my overall mental health. It was far from the only factor, but it was one place we started digging at. By the time I actually was able to start meeting with the counselor, most of that mental mistrust had cleared, though. I have since changed my perspective a lot on all of this, but even 6 months later, before really starting the process of evaluating my mental health, a lot of that had eased up.
What had changed? I think that was around the time I quit taking my statin medication that I had been on for several years. I'd have to go back and check the dates on this to see if it really lines up as tightly as I am remembering, but I had never put the two occurrences together. I may have inadvertently healed myself! The miracle of the human body and mind, finding the offending toxin (statin) and eliminating it (by engendering a mistrust in any ingested chemicals) without even telling me that's what it did.
I did have a great experience with counseling though; read a lot of books on various psychology subjects, found the importance of self-esteem (I had always assumed I had low self-esteem), and really discovered the importance of tuning into emotion, because of how much influence emotion has in every decision, and action we take, or even any memory we have. Contrary to a lack of emotion, I found I was just suppressing emotion behind a facade of logic and cognition. The emotion was definitely there, and putting it in a leading role in my life has given me incredible levels of peace and contentment.
Did the statin cause my existential crisis, in some kind of dementia fog? Fuck if I know, but I wouldn't be surprised. I wasn't wrong about the brain chemicals, just had to learn the right way to control them - through diet and not poisoning myself.
Had some thoughts about the history of religions last night. Strap in, I guess - but I'll try not to make this long.
What I was observing was that the values of religions that have lasted over long periods of time seem to have a lot to do with the socio-political climate in which they were initially instituted.
Consider China. Dynastic rule for long periods of time. Not a huge amount of conquest or invasion. Typically a very collectivist population. What religions thrived there? Ones that helped further pacify the people, emphasis on group meditation and little or no materialism. Not much emphasis on the greatness or goodness or paternality of a god, don't really view the higher power as a savior.
Then look at the Mediterranean region. Lots of wars, conquests, plenty of imperialism and conquests. Jewish tribes were beaten up by just about everyone that stopped by. Jewish religion reflects this by emphasizing a paternal god who will fight for them. Materialism is celebrated, as long as it is done for the temple. Victim mentality is literally bred in as original sin. I think Judaism is something of an offshoot of earlier Indus Valley religions (shares common roots with modern Hinduism) but was greatly changed and adapted to suit the cycle of conquering/conquered that defined the Jews.
During one of the relatively stable periods, the semi-nomadic Essenes find a leader who takes on the existing corruption of the Jewish temple state, and this leader becomes the symbol of a new religion - which appeals to Romans for many reasons, and soon becomes institutionalized as Christianity. Christianity is more geared to making individualists (as opposed to collectivists) more servile, while through its message of spreading the "good news" also supports conquest and war. The people already believe they are flawed, which makes them easy to enslave, if they are not already slaves. Any materialism is still only focused on the Church, which becomes the State. As Rome itself falls, the Church carries on throughout Europe and central Asia, splitting off and adapting where needed.
Then you have the Islamic story, which diverges early, in a war-torn and hotly contested area of the globe that had seen both wealth and poverty. It takes on similar characteristics to Christianity, but replaces a lot of the servile victim mentality with anger and aggression. War begets war, after all. In both Islam and Christianity there is a lot of focus on afterlife, salvation, a god that will kick ass and take names if it suits him - and it is definitely a him, for these cultures.
Christianity gets a major change with Martin Luther, as it splits into Protestantism and Catholicism. Again, someone fed up with corruption takes on the institution and makes a big change. The new Protestantism is even more individualist, has a renewed interest in conquest, and mates up nicely with the age of exploration and empiricism that is underway. Luther doesn't become a mythical figure like Christ, although operationally was likely very similar.
Then there is Hinduism - which also arose the Indus valley, but the leaders (Brahmas) soon took whatever ancient wisdom they had and made themselves untouchable by implementing castes and shrouding everything in superstition. Translations, retranslations, published notes, poems, and everything else done to the original Vedic lore created a solid mess, where almost anything could be justified by the religious leaders. However, once entrenched, they have been very good at staying in control, and Hindu values support that well.
Once you release yourself from belief in dogma (any dogma), it becomes much easier to see the paths through history that various belief systems have taken, and why they might have been instituted as they were. Believe whatever gets you to sleep at night, but the human story is much longer than most religions can account for, punctuated by cycles of violence, conquest, peace, building, high society, etc., and I believe these cycles have a lot to do with the beliefs borne out of them.
(above is extremely generalized, presented without appropriate nuance, and may be offensive to some. I could research and write chapters if not books on each region or belief system, and you probably wouldn't be any less offended.)
So after this, I did a little when in doubt, zoom out.
What if all matter is data storage?
What if all wave energy is data transmission?
What if this is how it has always been - the true nature of our reality? Perhaps we are living in the Matrix, of sorts - but not necessarily a simulation we can awake from, more like a complete existence within a universe-sized decentralized? computer.
Not sure how to understand field energy (like magnetic fields) in this model, but that isn't to say it won't fit nicely.
The truth is, I'm no genius, and this is really stretching at my basic understanding of physics, much of which I've forgotten since learning it a few decades ago.
One little observation - if I started sharing most of this stuff among friends, they would be asking me to pass the pipe. I'm doing this completely sober, and it can be just as mind-blowing, but much more "real".
Gn nostr.
But really, I'm having a though that I really want to note down. Important enough I'm ignoring my directive to not use my phone while in bed.
I'm really hung up on this trinary math/computing thing. Been on that for a few nights, finally noted it here this morning I think.
The general idea is that nature/reality isn't binary. More often, it is trinary instead. Energy moves in waves, not in ons and offs. A wave has a top and a bottom, but it also has the curvature between top and bottom. Even direct current electricity has an intermediate state between on and off; I think I learned that 25 years ago when looking at how computer memory is stored.
So how hard would it be to build a computer running natively on trinary code? That was where tonight started.
Then I moved on - why can't we build computers that are powered natively on AC instead of DC electricity? It seems we waste a lot of energy converting AC to DC in desktops and servers.
It seems to me that binary computing is well suited to DC, as DC exists as on/off states. Trinary computing might be better suited to AC, which alternates (that's the A) which implies some kind of alternating wave form.
Then this really started to spiral - if we are building to trinary, based on electricity wave forms, why limit this to electricity? Why not be able to "power" a computer with any energy wave form, like light, radiant energy, etc. This completely removes the need for AC power, or DC battery cells, I think.
So, how to encode data in a waveform? We have to be able to manipulate the waveform. That is how radio is encoded, either through frequency modulation or amplitude modulation.
Next, how to store waveform data? Now I'm getting almost ancient aliens on this, thinking that is what crystal skulls are supposed to be.
Sheesh. I think it is all possible, and way more efficient. Like orders of magnitude more efficient. Matter is stabilized waveform energy, so matter itself could be a likely store of waveform encoded data. Some matter is probably better for this than other matter, maybe that is why the skulls are crystal.
Does field energy work as well? Especially if the field undulates predictably? Could magnetic field (for example) be used to store data and/or power a computer build to natively use waveform energy?
Ok, those are most of tonight's thoughts. One important last one...
Why hasn't this been done already? I can't be the first one to think of these things, and likely someone more knowledgeable about electricity, waves, math, radiant energy, etc has to have tried this already.
Yet here we are with DC powered, binary computing. Not sure what I'm missing.
Becoming more and more convinced that our digital tech could be much improved by moving from binary to trinary systems, accounting for on, off, and the state in between those poles in energy waveforms. Many if not most examples from nature support 3 states, not two.
This could be a huge leap forward in tech, and science in general, while bringing ourselves closer to nature instead of furthering the current divergence from nature.
People are talking about politicians and bitcoins and blowjobs and things. Meanwhile I'm contemplating the shape and composition of space while synthesizing Vedic cosmology with more recent Vedantic wisdom and having an inner debate on the validity of the big bang theory. While stacking and eating steaks.
We might not be the same. But dammit we're all on this ride together.
Thought about that too.
Because I don't personally listen to audio-only podcasts, I'm prone to dismiss them.
I was actually thinking of going the full YT route because I could choose whether or not to link it to what I've built here on nostr.
Part of me says I have nothing to hide, but the rest of me knows that is only true until I do have something to hide - because the past can easily be linked to the present. For this reason, I have always been wary of social media, even in the AIM and ICQ days. It's just too easy to become a target of someone else's issues.
Best answer for now is I don't know yet.
Possibly. Had been thinking about being interviewed on Dave Mac's YT channel, but haven't decided how far I'm willing to dox myself.
Easter 2023. April 9, I think it was. Traveling to a work conference for a few days, figured it would be a good time to start because I wouldn't have all the temptations of home.
Another small win, put on a pair of jeans yesterday that had previously been a struggle to button. I've worn a 38 for a long time, bought some 40s here and there, but the difference between "flex" and regular is huge. These were regular. Lucky jeans, which I really wanted but hated splurging on. Buttoned with no problem, still needed a belt to keep them on (true for any pants, for me).
I'm going to have to try my Duluth jeans next. Haven't been able to button those essentially since I bought them. I'm sure I did anyway a few times.
I may share another small win from the last week, but it's adultstr. Keeping it G for now.
Today I realized that my 3XL shirts fit different. For the last lots of years, I've worn a 3XL-T undershirt, tucked in, under any normal T, so my belly fat wouldn't roll out the bottom.
Today, was warm, wanted to do some yard work. Didn't want the extra layer. Put on a 3XL longsleeve, that always seemed to fit me short. Didn't even try to tuck it in. It was fine, didn't show any skin at the beltline.
Got done, took that off, put on a standard 3XL tee that I bought at the beach -4 years ago. Fit loose, tucked it in, didn't come untucked.
The 3x shirts are fitting loose enough I may be able to go to a 2x soon. You don't know how many shirts I haven't bought because they didn't have a 3x option.
Under 250 lbs (barely, but there) for the last two days. Last time for that was over a decade ago, and I was starving myself on salads. Felt weak, tired, and generally unwell, but I did it to see if my BP numbers would drop, since my dr said they were because I was overweight. The numbers stayed the same, and we agreed it was just genetic.
Today, my BP numbers are about the same as when I was taking 3 drugs to regulate them - and I am taking no medications. Still got a ways to go before the doctors will agree my BP is no longer an issue, but being off the drugs means I will know when that time comes, and not risk going too low.
Days like today give me hope. I am winning this. I feel fine, have had plenty of energy to do more chores than ever, without feeling wiped out after. Outside, in the sun. Not burnt, just happy and thriving.
In bad news, I ate two boston creme donuts today. Not beating myself up about it, just being honest. I still have my vices, and I'm not perfect. Still a sugar addict.
#carnivore
Or, stop eating plants that create gas in your belly as they digest. Proper human diet has a natural solution as well.
Today I tried something new. Added a small piece of beef liver to my power bowl (eggs, beef mince, a little cheddar, salt). Cooked it in with the beef. Tasted great.
Yes, not as vitamin rich as raw liver, but I see myself eating it more regularly this way (I would say I only make power bowls occasionally, maybe 2x month, but I may be doing this more often as part of my effort to get my son on a healthier diet - he likes the power bowls)
#carnivore
Dealership: you need a brake flush and hydraulic clutch flush (at the end of having the bike in the shop 5 hours to inspect and change oil - $600+). We can get you scheduled for that in a week or two...
Me: how much?
Dealership: $350
Me: thanks, will call you when I'm ready to schedule.
Me (the next weekend with 2 bottles of fluid and a $20 flush kit with a one-way valve): done. Fuck the stealership!
