I’ve suddenly forgotten what a cheeseburger tastes like and need to be reminded ASAP

genuine belief is astrology is an indicator of deep, deep issues 🙃

Some new-age ‘spiritualists’ believe the full moon and other moon phases have different energies that translate into real life possibilities.

“Everyone is so toxic.”

- woman who is the only source of toxicity within a 20-mile radius

Same here. I told my mother I downloaded it to see what the hype was about and she told me to get rid of it immediately.

These ‘creators’ low-key ruin every good thing they can get their hands on, whether it’s books, music, dance, or anything else.

I don’t think there’s any corner of the internet that’s more low-IQ than TikTok

Thank you :)

a very sweaty & exhausted me in front of a rainbow during sunset. the world is vastly beautiful sometimes.

Officially exited the “life is a shitshow” phase of my life and entered the “life is a shitshow lmao” phase.

Going to take a break from social media to focus on, well, living. Thanks for the good energy, I’ll see you all in a couple months! ✌🏼💜 🤙🏼

Existential crisis in France. Consolation by pastries.

Apparently it’s any motherfucker who feels like one.

Never understood people who claim to be ‘not a hugger’

tender coconut shrimp + chile lime fries 😋

And Putin too!! He deserves an apology from you!! While you’re at it, add Hitler and Stalin to the list as well.

Y E S

a good morning indeed 🌞

red lipstick and nothing else is a 10/10 makeup combination and no one can convince me otherwise

I <3 babies.

“Women shouldn’t curse, it’s unattractive.”

Wait, let me just double-check to see if I have any fucks left to give. Pretty sure I don’t but I’ll take a look and get back to you. Thanks for your patience.

I'm not sad, but the boys who are looking for sad girls always find me. I'm not a girl anymore and I'm not sad anymore.

You want me to be a tragic backdrop so that you can appear to be illuminated, so that people can say 'Wow, isn't he so terribly brave to love a girl who is so obviously sad?' You think I'll be the dark sky so you can be the star? I'll swallow you whole.

Him: I love you.

Me: ok but would you still love me if I were a worm?

Eid Mubarak to those who celebrate.

Don’t know what his hot mess is, but pineapple pizza is fucking elite 🍕

Cheers to that

Not automatically. Unless you coalesce manhood with fatherhood.

Hill #825 I’m willing to die on:

Being a good man doesn’t necessarily equate to being a good father.

Wishing you luck, safe travels, and a damn good time.