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"Voluntary cooperation and private markets- without government enforced monopolies everywhere you look."

Read Adam Smith. When he said "free markets" he was talking about markets free from economic rents, not from regulation. In fact, he believed democratic regulation was a crucial hedge against the power of Old Money to re-impose monopoly rents, on otherwise free enterprises.

The history of the internet proves he waa bang on. The only regulation has

Replying to Avatar gladstein

Here's my profile for Reason on Nostr and why it could very well change the world

Pasting a few paragraphs here, you can find the rest at the link

Feel free to spread far and wide 😉

*************

Can Nostr Make Twitter's Dreams Come True?

Twitter's founder says Nostr is “100 percent what we wanted”—an open, ownerless network

Alex Gladstein | 8.13.2024

Virtually everyone agrees that social media is broken. On Facebook, X, Instagram, and TikTok, people fear out-of-control algorithms, fake news, state actor censorship, and propaganda. Google and Meta collect vast troves of personal information on their users and receive hundreds of thousands of requests every year from governments around the world to access that data. YouTube has become arguably "the most powerful media platform in the history of humanity," yet its algorithm is an ever-changing black box to the creators that populate the platform with videos. During the pandemic, federal officials were in contact with every major social media platform, coercing them to remove content.

The problem is centralized control. We can't trust companies to run our primary communications infrastructure. Government regulation only makes matters worse because it creates new legal barriers to entering the industry, which protects incumbent players and stifles innovation.

What if there were an alternative, not owned by Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, or the Chinese Communist Party? What if there were a way to control your own data to prevent companies from harvesting and monetizing it? What if you had granular control over what you see in your feed, with the freedom to choose your own algorithms? What if you owned your identity, which could be accessed seamlessly across different clients? That way, if you disapprove of the changes that Elon Musk brought to X, instead of closing your account you could take your handle and followers elsewhere.

That alternative exists. It's called "Notes and Other Stuff Transmitted by Relays"—or Nostr.

The Decentralized Solution

Invented by a pseudonymous programmer and overwhelmingly funded by grants from non-profit foundations, this decentralized, free, and open-source protocol has been quietly evolving for the past three years. Like bitcoin, Nostr is a community-run digital network highly resistant to censorship and corruption. It has 40,000 weekly active users and a growing ecosystem of clients and applications ranging from social media to long-form publishing to payments.

Nostr is only necessary because our existing internet is so broken.

Fifteen years ago, social media seemed destined to decentralize the world and give power back to the people. In 2009, we watched as Arab Spring activists used Twitter and Facebook to organize, coordinate, and help topple several long-standing dictatorships. The promise was that these new social platforms, designed by Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, could help liberate the masses.

It was intoxicating—but turned out to be a mirage. The Arab revolutions stalled out when brutal military regimes cracked down. These platforms became tools for spying and censoring their users. X and Facebook have helped journalists and human rights activists reach bigger audiences, but they haven't fulfilled their revolutionary promise.

Jack Dorsey's Shift from Bluesky to Nostr

This was a major theme at the 2024 Oslo Freedom Forum, which is put on annually by the Human Rights Foundation, where I serve as chief strategy officer. At this conference for democracy and human rights, Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey told the audience that the problem was, actually, guys like him: The very fact that Twitter, now X, has a CEO makes it a single point of failure. Governments routinely pressured Dorsey to censor content; once the company's offices in India were raided. Dorsey says that under the new Musk regime X complies with whatever governments want.

The X network is proprietary. Known as a "silo," this construct traps a user's identity, followers, and data. X also has the power to evict anyone from the platform and delete what they've written. Several years ago, when he was still running the company, Dorsey became convinced that Twitter should become an application instead, where users could post content to an open, ownerless network. This would make it similar to how bitcoin works, where you use an application called a wallet to interact with the network, but the network itself is neutral and open.

Building a non-proprietary architecture was Dorsey's original vision for Twitter, but over time the need to maximize revenue to build a business and serve shareholders undermined that goal.

Nevertheless, in 2021, Dorsey encouraged the creation of Bluesky—an initiative bootstrapped in-house to create that open neutral base layer. But after Musk bought the company, the managers of Bluesky were afraid they would run out of money and started raising funds from venture capitalists, which undermined the vision of building an open platform. Dorsey grew disenchanted and left the Bluesky board.

At the conference in Oslo, Dorsey explained what happened next:

I asked a question: What open source initiatives should I be funding that would be helpful to the public internet? And people kept tweeting at me that I should be looking at Nostr. I found the GitHub that described it and it was 100 percent what we wanted from Bluesky, but it wasn't developed from a company. It was completely independent. Its paper diagnosed every single problem we saw and had. But did it in a grassroots and dead simple way, that felt like the early Twitter where any developer could get on and really feel it.

Escaping the 'Golden Prisons'

Nostr was created in 2020 by the pseudonymous Brazilian programmer fiatjaf, who describes it as "the simplest open protocol that is able to create a censorship-resistant global 'social' network once and for all."

Though nobody is in charge, Nostr works as promised and is thriving. "It is the solution we've all been looking for," says Miljan Braticevic, founder of Primal, one of the two dozen plus clients now available for the Nostr protocol. "Nostr is not a Twitter competitor or a Mastodon competitor. This is the biggest misconception at the moment. That's just the tip of the iceberg. Nostr is nothing less than the foundation for the new internet. Meaning almost every conceivable app we have today will be built on Nostr."

Braticevic's prediction is echoed by at least a dozen other prominent developers. Martti Malmi, the first coder to work on bitcoin alongside Satoshi Nakamoto, is now a Nostr developer. In a recent talk, he said he had started to work on similar ideas around decentralized identity in 2019, only to come close to giving up. But then he found fiatjaf's invention, which he called a "godsend."

"Bitcoin is freedom of money, and Nostr is freedom of everything else," Malmi said. "I was there" in the earliest days of bitcoin, "and Nostr is even more intense."

For something that could be world-changing, Nostr is quite simple. To join, you sign up with a mobile or desktop client, which helps you to create a public and private key pair. The public key (or "npub") is used as your identifier, and you share it with clients and other users so that people can find your posts or pay you for your content. The private key ("nsec") is hidden by the user, stored safely (just like a bitcoin seed phrase), and is your way to log in to different services. Unlike platforms like X or Facebook, no other information is required to set up and use Nostr.

This gives users a powerful range of sovereignty. You can use a client, for example, that has strong hate speech controls. Or you can choose one that doesn't have any at all. You can use a client with aggressive algorithms, just like the ones X uses today. Or you can use one without any algorithm at all. Today, when you log in to an app like Primal, you can sort your feed by what's the latest, by what's most popular, by what's most zapped, or by customized keywords. It's up to you.

Last month, the macroeconomist Lyn Alden, author of one of the best books on bitcoin, published a long essay about Nostr's potential:

[Nostr] is a simple set of foundational building blocks that, if widely adopted, could gradually reshape "the Web" as we know it. Instead of a separate set of siloed social ecosystems, we could gravitate toward a more interoperable set of ecosystems, with more of the power dispersed to the content creators and to the audience, and away from the middlemen corporations.

The Nostr network is constructed like a spider web that can morph and regenerate, making it almost impossible to censor. When you set up a client on Nostr (perhaps, Primal or Damus on iOS; Amethyst on Android; or Coracle on the web), you choose from a variety of relays to connect to. This architecture ensures no single point of failure: If you are connected to seven or eight relays, and half of them choose to censor posts, your feed remains censorship-free, as your app will display the net sum of everything broadcast from each relay. If the Chinese government decides to attack your relays—as it did in 2023 when Damus launched on the Hong Kong and mainland app store—then more can be spun up. "The enemy," said Damus creator Will Casarin, "is too numerous."

Prominent bitcoin developer and educator Gigi—who switched to Nostr and deleted his X account—says that what helped it become so resilient is that it has zero exit cost. If the Chinese Communist Party bans YouTube, its domestic users lose everything. There's no way to get back their profiles and followers. The same is true if a user voluntarily closes an account.

Gigi calls these corporate silos "golden prisons" with no escape. Nostr's spider-like architecture makes escaping easy. If one client goes down, or you fail to connect to one relay, you just find another client or connect to another relay. You keep your posts, photos, preferences, contacts, and even algorithms of choice. If you use X, you are an X creator. But if you use Primal, you aren't a Primal creator, you are a Nostr creator.

https://reason.com/2024/08/13/can-nostr-make-twitters-dreams-come-true/

"Nostr is nothing less than the foundation for the new internet. Meaning almost every conceivable app we have today will be built on Nostr."

How many times have we heard this before? There's a reason every "new internet" architecture - from USENET and the web onwards - starts with public sharing of text documents and images, followed by audio-visual works. Because this is the easiest and most obvious use of a network by a large number of people.

Once you start trying to do things that are either more complicated, or mission-critical, you realise that there's are good reasons why a wide range of protocols are use on top of TCP/IP for different purposes.

Replying to Avatar gladstein

Here's my profile for Reason on Nostr and why it could very well change the world

Pasting a few paragraphs here, you can find the rest at the link

Feel free to spread far and wide 😉

*************

Can Nostr Make Twitter's Dreams Come True?

Twitter's founder says Nostr is “100 percent what we wanted”—an open, ownerless network

Alex Gladstein | 8.13.2024

Virtually everyone agrees that social media is broken. On Facebook, X, Instagram, and TikTok, people fear out-of-control algorithms, fake news, state actor censorship, and propaganda. Google and Meta collect vast troves of personal information on their users and receive hundreds of thousands of requests every year from governments around the world to access that data. YouTube has become arguably "the most powerful media platform in the history of humanity," yet its algorithm is an ever-changing black box to the creators that populate the platform with videos. During the pandemic, federal officials were in contact with every major social media platform, coercing them to remove content.

The problem is centralized control. We can't trust companies to run our primary communications infrastructure. Government regulation only makes matters worse because it creates new legal barriers to entering the industry, which protects incumbent players and stifles innovation.

What if there were an alternative, not owned by Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, or the Chinese Communist Party? What if there were a way to control your own data to prevent companies from harvesting and monetizing it? What if you had granular control over what you see in your feed, with the freedom to choose your own algorithms? What if you owned your identity, which could be accessed seamlessly across different clients? That way, if you disapprove of the changes that Elon Musk brought to X, instead of closing your account you could take your handle and followers elsewhere.

That alternative exists. It's called "Notes and Other Stuff Transmitted by Relays"—or Nostr.

The Decentralized Solution

Invented by a pseudonymous programmer and overwhelmingly funded by grants from non-profit foundations, this decentralized, free, and open-source protocol has been quietly evolving for the past three years. Like bitcoin, Nostr is a community-run digital network highly resistant to censorship and corruption. It has 40,000 weekly active users and a growing ecosystem of clients and applications ranging from social media to long-form publishing to payments.

Nostr is only necessary because our existing internet is so broken.

Fifteen years ago, social media seemed destined to decentralize the world and give power back to the people. In 2009, we watched as Arab Spring activists used Twitter and Facebook to organize, coordinate, and help topple several long-standing dictatorships. The promise was that these new social platforms, designed by Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, could help liberate the masses.

It was intoxicating—but turned out to be a mirage. The Arab revolutions stalled out when brutal military regimes cracked down. These platforms became tools for spying and censoring their users. X and Facebook have helped journalists and human rights activists reach bigger audiences, but they haven't fulfilled their revolutionary promise.

Jack Dorsey's Shift from Bluesky to Nostr

This was a major theme at the 2024 Oslo Freedom Forum, which is put on annually by the Human Rights Foundation, where I serve as chief strategy officer. At this conference for democracy and human rights, Twitter co-founder Jack Dorsey told the audience that the problem was, actually, guys like him: The very fact that Twitter, now X, has a CEO makes it a single point of failure. Governments routinely pressured Dorsey to censor content; once the company's offices in India were raided. Dorsey says that under the new Musk regime X complies with whatever governments want.

The X network is proprietary. Known as a "silo," this construct traps a user's identity, followers, and data. X also has the power to evict anyone from the platform and delete what they've written. Several years ago, when he was still running the company, Dorsey became convinced that Twitter should become an application instead, where users could post content to an open, ownerless network. This would make it similar to how bitcoin works, where you use an application called a wallet to interact with the network, but the network itself is neutral and open.

Building a non-proprietary architecture was Dorsey's original vision for Twitter, but over time the need to maximize revenue to build a business and serve shareholders undermined that goal.

Nevertheless, in 2021, Dorsey encouraged the creation of Bluesky—an initiative bootstrapped in-house to create that open neutral base layer. But after Musk bought the company, the managers of Bluesky were afraid they would run out of money and started raising funds from venture capitalists, which undermined the vision of building an open platform. Dorsey grew disenchanted and left the Bluesky board.

At the conference in Oslo, Dorsey explained what happened next:

I asked a question: What open source initiatives should I be funding that would be helpful to the public internet? And people kept tweeting at me that I should be looking at Nostr. I found the GitHub that described it and it was 100 percent what we wanted from Bluesky, but it wasn't developed from a company. It was completely independent. Its paper diagnosed every single problem we saw and had. But did it in a grassroots and dead simple way, that felt like the early Twitter where any developer could get on and really feel it.

Escaping the 'Golden Prisons'

Nostr was created in 2020 by the pseudonymous Brazilian programmer fiatjaf, who describes it as "the simplest open protocol that is able to create a censorship-resistant global 'social' network once and for all."

Though nobody is in charge, Nostr works as promised and is thriving. "It is the solution we've all been looking for," says Miljan Braticevic, founder of Primal, one of the two dozen plus clients now available for the Nostr protocol. "Nostr is not a Twitter competitor or a Mastodon competitor. This is the biggest misconception at the moment. That's just the tip of the iceberg. Nostr is nothing less than the foundation for the new internet. Meaning almost every conceivable app we have today will be built on Nostr."

Braticevic's prediction is echoed by at least a dozen other prominent developers. Martti Malmi, the first coder to work on bitcoin alongside Satoshi Nakamoto, is now a Nostr developer. In a recent talk, he said he had started to work on similar ideas around decentralized identity in 2019, only to come close to giving up. But then he found fiatjaf's invention, which he called a "godsend."

"Bitcoin is freedom of money, and Nostr is freedom of everything else," Malmi said. "I was there" in the earliest days of bitcoin, "and Nostr is even more intense."

For something that could be world-changing, Nostr is quite simple. To join, you sign up with a mobile or desktop client, which helps you to create a public and private key pair. The public key (or "npub") is used as your identifier, and you share it with clients and other users so that people can find your posts or pay you for your content. The private key ("nsec") is hidden by the user, stored safely (just like a bitcoin seed phrase), and is your way to log in to different services. Unlike platforms like X or Facebook, no other information is required to set up and use Nostr.

This gives users a powerful range of sovereignty. You can use a client, for example, that has strong hate speech controls. Or you can choose one that doesn't have any at all. You can use a client with aggressive algorithms, just like the ones X uses today. Or you can use one without any algorithm at all. Today, when you log in to an app like Primal, you can sort your feed by what's the latest, by what's most popular, by what's most zapped, or by customized keywords. It's up to you.

Last month, the macroeconomist Lyn Alden, author of one of the best books on bitcoin, published a long essay about Nostr's potential:

[Nostr] is a simple set of foundational building blocks that, if widely adopted, could gradually reshape "the Web" as we know it. Instead of a separate set of siloed social ecosystems, we could gravitate toward a more interoperable set of ecosystems, with more of the power dispersed to the content creators and to the audience, and away from the middlemen corporations.

The Nostr network is constructed like a spider web that can morph and regenerate, making it almost impossible to censor. When you set up a client on Nostr (perhaps, Primal or Damus on iOS; Amethyst on Android; or Coracle on the web), you choose from a variety of relays to connect to. This architecture ensures no single point of failure: If you are connected to seven or eight relays, and half of them choose to censor posts, your feed remains censorship-free, as your app will display the net sum of everything broadcast from each relay. If the Chinese government decides to attack your relays—as it did in 2023 when Damus launched on the Hong Kong and mainland app store—then more can be spun up. "The enemy," said Damus creator Will Casarin, "is too numerous."

Prominent bitcoin developer and educator Gigi—who switched to Nostr and deleted his X account—says that what helped it become so resilient is that it has zero exit cost. If the Chinese Communist Party bans YouTube, its domestic users lose everything. There's no way to get back their profiles and followers. The same is true if a user voluntarily closes an account.

Gigi calls these corporate silos "golden prisons" with no escape. Nostr's spider-like architecture makes escaping easy. If one client goes down, or you fail to connect to one relay, you just find another client or connect to another relay. You keep your posts, photos, preferences, contacts, and even algorithms of choice. If you use X, you are an X creator. But if you use Primal, you aren't a Primal creator, you are a Nostr creator.

https://reason.com/2024/08/13/can-nostr-make-twitters-dreams-come-true/

"The problem is centralized control."

100%

"We can't trust companies to run our primary communications infrastructure."

Corporate oligopolies, yes. Small businesses - especially co-ops and social enterprises - that are directly accountable to their customers? These we can trust.

"Government regulation only makes matters worse because it creates new legal barriers to entering the industry, which protects incumbent players and stifles innovation."

This is called "regulatory capture", not "government regulation". There's certainly plenty of that about; link taxes, "chat control" etc. There's also regulations like the GDPR and DMA in the EU, and similar privacy protection and monopoly prevention laws in other jurisdictions, that are slowly but surely eroding the power of Big Tech and other corporate oligopolies.

How are so many people even literate enough to dribble this 100% fact-free gibbering nonsense at us? Oh yes, because of the public education that does it best to make sure everyone can read and write, regardless of their parents' income or class position.

I'm no fan of the state and I doubt @Rabble is either. But here's the tricky thing about states; trying to make them minimal tends to a) have the opposite result, and b) make them worse at doing anything publicly useful. I'll give you two examples.

Actually-Existing-Communism (eg Soviet Union, China today) came about because of an attempt to create a minimal state, which Marx called "the dictatorship of the propletariat". Whose one job was meant to be stopping the Czarists from restoring the monarchy, or any other attempt by aristocratic elites to reimpose top-down rule. Every attempt to keep it minimal and focused on that goal made it bigger and more monstrous (normalised surveillance etc).

The state you grew up under (if I'm right in guessing you're under 35) also resulted from an attempt to create a minimal state, which we could call a 'dictatorship of the entrepreneuriat'. Whose one job is meant to be defending businesses from burglars, mobsters, fraudsters and foreign invasions (cops, courts, prisons, military, nothing else). Every attempt to keep it minimal and focused on that goal made it bigger and more monstrous (normalised surveillance etc).

Both the GoP and the Democrats have subscribed to this minimal state doctrine since Reagan. Drumpf is the ultimate expression of it.

But the administration that's been running the US for the last four years while Biden dribbled into his coffee, has been strongly influenced by a totally different doctrine. One that understands that the we need to judge the state not by its size, but by whether its operations make our society more functional and our lives better. Also that the dictatorship of the entrepreneuriat has been a total failure on *both* measures, just like its Soviet/ Maoist counterpart.

Why do I ask? Like I said, your story resonated. As you say, a label is not the point, although I've found with both my ADHD diagnosis and being recognised by fellow autistics, it can help with self-understanding and self-acceptance.

> Have you dug as hard at trying to figure yourself out?

Oh yes. All the usual stuff. Years of counselling. Self-help books galore (I do like The Power of Now). Mysticism, meditation and martial arts (both Eastern and Western) and shamanic practices, including psychedelic drugs.

> It is very rewarding at times, frustrating at others. I wish you success on your journey!

Sure is. Thanks, and the same to you 😊

Sorry, stupid question in hindsight, but none of my friends with endo have ever had it leave their reproductive system and grow on their back. Woah! Sounds very unpleasant.

Replying to Avatar Sedj

What if I walked away from this npub and just started a new one? I could probably figure out how to clone all the important stuff over.

I doubt my followers (both of you) would mind that much, and I'm no infloonzer, so my clone would likely just be me.

One feature of nostr that has bugged me for a while is the inability to delete notes. I'm used to deleting most of my history on other platforms, quite intentionally. Sure, a relay might eventually remove your note, but another may not - so you have no way to know if your history is out there still, or no.

I value being able to forget. Being able to re-create. I've had to be way more careful to stay mostly anon here than on normie social media. It feels limiting, rather than freeing.

I may be free of being cancelled or shadow banned, but I am very much not free of the real world consequences of anything I say, at any point in the future, whenever my past may be examined against criteria I wouldn't be able to even imagine in the present.

What if, in 5 years, my wife learns how to use nostr and looks back at this npub's history and decides it was somehow disrespectful to her?

What if it wasn't my wife, but my government? Or the government of the nation I am trying to enter? Or a police or legal action?

Winding myself up a bit. Not sure how this plays out. I'll put it like this - If this npub stops posting, it likely won't be because I am gone. I'll still be around, just respawned under a new clean npub.

My social graph doesn't feel that built up anyway. Does it serve me? Or do I serve it?

Most of my online presence is under one handle that also became an in-person nickname. Never bothered deleting anything much.

Then I moved to China for a couple of years for an English-teaching job. I was worried my online history could be easily associated with the name on my passport and that I'd be denied a visa, or otherwise harrassed. Didn't happen.

I wouldn't lose sleep over your Nostr posts.

Replying to Avatar Sedj

I've really been doing this friending thing wrong. Probably my whole life. This is gonna be a long one, so strap in.

First, to baseline - the first 8 years of my life was spent in a very remote part of western Canada, out in the islands. Not near people. No schools. No friends, really.

Then, 8 years in, I was moved to Las Vegas (THAT Las Vegas) to live with my grandmother, directly after my dad died. I had no idea how to be social. None. It was a mess. I was a mess. No other way to describe it.

So to that point, everything I knew about friending came from books; mostly Hardy Boys mysteries, maybe some Choose Your Own Adventure. A few Nancy Drews. There was no television in my former life. My parents weren't much help, as they didn't live in the middle of nowhere because they were at all social, so not like I had much there to model after.

I guess I learned most social lessons 1) late. 2) the hard way. Bullied? yes. Jumped? several times. There is a whole other topic that merges in here about how religion influenced this, but I'll just say that in general, Christianity was offered to me as a social milieu. This has its benefits and issues. But that's not what I want to discuss right now.

What I learned.

1) I liked other kids. I wanted to be like other kids.

2) I did not have any idea how to be like other kids.

3) Telling other kids about my past did not really help. They didn't care, and would be more likely to make fun of me.

4) I didn't like being made fun of. I liked even less getting my ass kicked.

5) Lying about my past, or not talking about it, was a better way to move forward.

6) Lying was generally more likely to get me "friends" than being honest.

7) To get "friends", I needed to somehow impress them, or do something for them, or possibly be something for them.

8) I didn't do well at getting friends, or keeping friends. I figured I was pretty broken overall.

This was not a great childhood. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I was pretty motivated to move on. I hated school, myself, and pretty much everything about my life. I was always trying to find a better way, figuring if I could just be like other people, I would be in a better place.

This mindset (perceived low self esteem, in spite of actually pulling off a lot of really cool shit along the way, because I was my own harshest critic and had no idea how to actually stand on my own) really went up to a few years ago (let's say early 40s.)

The whole time, I didn't know how to friend. I tried. I wanted friends. I would get frustrated with myself that I wasn't putting in the effort to keep friends around. I had no problem being in a crowd, or finding people to talk to, or talking to people. I can go in public and start a conversation with just about anyone. I can get invited to the after party. I've been the one throwing the after party. But the next day, these people didn't give two shits about me, didn't invite me to the next party, wouldn't check on how I was doing, and I thought it was because I was just not putting in the effort in some way.

I went to fucking counseling, finally. This got me sorted on the self esteem thing. It got me reading a lot of good stuff. Even my counselor never figured out why my friending was broken. We eventually parted ways, because I wasn't depressed, anxious, or anything he could help with. I was way too introspective and intellectual for him, and he thought it was getting in the way of my ability to feel emotion. I did too, for a while - but I feel emotion just fine. I don't always channel it out into expression very well, but it's not because I don't feel it.

Well, I'll skip to the end. Literally yesterday, I think. I was watching a video podcast (Diary of a CEO) that I watch occasionally. He was interviewing the CIA guy, seen him a couple times before on that podcast, and I think on Impact Theory. I actually don't like him much, don't really agree with him and his takes, but I decided I would listen in anyway because I do like hearing a different point of view.

And he was talking about persuasion and influence, and how to build relationships with people in order to persuade them or have influence over them, for example, to land a job through the interview process.

But what he said just fucking clicked. Hard.

People want to feel invested in. People like people that they perceive to be like them, taking an interest in them and sharing similar views. The best way to win an interview (or a sale) is to learn as much as possible about the interviewer and ask them questions directly about what they like, how they think, etc. Open-ended questions, that show your interest in them. Pepper that with plenty of observations that show how you are just like them, or think the same way they do.

The whole last most of the years of my life, I had been speaking to people trying to tell them about myself. Trying to interject into conversation things I think they would find interesting. I was telling, not selling. At the end of it, people would still say I was not very open, or hard to get to know. This was really frustrating, because I could literally tell them my fucking life story, and they would still give that feedback. It hasn't been because I didn't make the effort. It isn't because I was closed off, aloof, emotionally unavailable. It was because I was friending like the books I started reading. Narration, character one talks, character 2 replies, etc.

Books do NOT show speech patterns the way it really works. I read a ton of books. Always have. Lots of fiction. Lots of non-fiction, later in life. This fails to show how to talk to people.

I think the real key is to ask more questions. Learn as much about the people you want to friend as you can, and never stop asking them questions. Your past isn't the issue. Your likes, dislikes, opinions, all of that doesn't matter to them. All they care about and all they will remember is how much you appeared to care about them, how much you seemed willing to invest in them, how much you seemed like them, and more importantly how much you seemed to like them. People like to be liked. This all seems so fucking obvious, probably why my counselor completely missed it.

It doesn't have to be patronizing. Just ask people how they are doing. Ask about their kids, their pets, their projects. Ask questions, lots of them. Don't feel you have to tell anyone anything unless you want to, just keep asking. Eventually they will ask back. Be honest, because there's no danger in it - but keep asking questions back.

This is why I have failed at social media. I have failed at nostr as well. I have tons of notes, like this one, that is telling you all about me, my thoughts, my life.

BUT YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE.

and why should you? Have I shown I cared about you? A like, a zap, that shit doesn't do it. Asking questions is the only way. And I don't even think my client of choice does a great job of conversations. I may change it.

But I am close to done with posting these notes that tell everything and ask nothing. I promise to change. I must change. Fuck, I've been such a goddamned idiot for so long. This is not going to be an easy change, but I have to figure it the fuck out.

Good night, Nostr. Tomorrow I will ask the questions.

Have you ever considered the possibility you (and maybe one or more of your parents) might be autistic? Not trying to do remote diagnose or anything, but this backstory kind of reminds me of my own, and those of other autistics I know.

It's not on the same level, but I get very nervous about having dental work done. What helps me is to focus my attention on a spot just below my navel, and listen to my breathing without trying to control it. This helps from when I'm waiting room right through until it's over. Might help before a procedure too, to deal with the anticipation.

IndieWeb is fantastic. FYI it's one of the subverses of the fediverse, thanks to projects like Micro.blog and BridgyFed.

> It would be nice to have play controls in the notification area

My Android can do this, but only some apps make use of it, and even then the support is a bit patchy.

Getting more and more frustrated with the cyber-stalinists dominating fediverse discourse. Trying to get my head around Nostr.

Any idea if this video is available on PeerTube of LBRY? If not, why not?