This pizza, beer, and burrito diet I’m on hasn’t achieved the desired results.

nostr:npub10449qqvdt6y8vte555zlydh0qz9889jnyqefruavqjzwe703upzq9lal48 right!

The 1st sign typically leads to the 2nd.

nostr:npub14pezfkrucnys49wlf5wwtmk5fatg2r86kmlctfum9q46wdt6k9qqmj9j04 WHAT?!?

nostr:npub17du55wxkukmcvwd9zhe6t9g3qll4p2ldl3ftf9u2uv36sj77wpqq3x45s4 We need to make that happen

nostr:npub1vsjsnwy2p2hsha0q9576qwul8rts02zhttxdqkchc0mugn8h5rhselajd2 could be…

nostr:npub17du55wxkukmcvwd9zhe6t9g3qll4p2ldl3ftf9u2uv36sj77wpqq3x45s4 😁

nostr:npub1u7zspdz9rppz94zvgqqzhmv7yc45h5rhm0txsshe35j5ra9wwk7s9kn5e4

A Unicorn is just a pony with a strap-on.

I’m sorry I said your wife’s face looked like a botched plastic surgery job. Mea culpa.

I a, both watching The Hangover…and working on one.

nostr:npub1jcndd6ht0dvq7l9mn4fx4ax40szxdylxxl9nypplflueecvng8sszl0xst Party animal

nostr:npub1ua4c3078jj7xczfvz0qx7lr70x0wjz62tks4cl6dvfjjgvsp46tqr4swyc Blocked

🥃 🥃🥃

nostr:npub1txjp4hmvgaqcv28uvz8drmmnxp9ks7752v6zhlel7lymvqrf2mgqekvj0d 🙌

nostr:npub1wl69ct6g0w5yjmetjkr3rrwk00fhvcluhq9tcaut2cllheuw757s0m8zu5 🔥

nostr:npub1jcndd6ht0dvq7l9mn4fx4ax40szxdylxxl9nypplflueecvng8sszl0xst I like it!

I really need to shower but I don’t want to get off the couch.

Quick, someone invent a shower couch.

nostr:npub1a533y3lzj2g4xg9rugue8668ak93mdzl2rqt20q4kptxdzk4lfvsajs4u6 sometimes I get bit by multiple dogs

My 2 favorite kinds of drinks are inside drinks and outside drinks.