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Approaching the full moon in Gemini from the new moon in Scorpio, from Pattern App:

During a Full Moon like Gemini, and particularly with the New Moon in Scorpio, it's about - have you lost the inner child?

The beauty of childhood is that we're innocent. We're this blank slate and the world is exciting and we're curious, and everything is an opportunity and a possibility.

Then this harsh world beats us down and we start to become judgmental and critical and fearful, and slowly that innocence is eroded.

This Full Moon is very much about - where we are living in fear instead of love? It's about - what choice do we want to make? Do you want to make moving forward?

What kind of world do you want to live in? Is it going to be based in fear and aggression and destruction, or is it going to be a place of love and openness and possibility?

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago 💬 1

Rediscovering the inner child has been a theme for me recently. I think its probably the source of my resurgent interest in science. I adulted in college and emerged with an econ degree that doesn't really fit me. I've been regretting it ever since I graduated. And then the recent Thanksgiving dinners really messed me up. I'm still reeling from it. Its the extreme difference between me and how I was raised versus my cousins - they have a world full of love, but my world, and how I was raised, was/is completely **_completely_** devoid of love. I think I was raised by psychopaths. I can see how it damaged every moment of my life, and I don't know how to be like my cousins are. Thanksgiving just left me hating my life. I keep comparing.

Uhh. Probably shouldn't have said this stuff. Anyways. I don't really want to delete, either. Anyways.

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Discussion

Kip Ashlynn 1mo ago 💬 2

Because you said this stuff I can say that I really relate and you aren't alone. Was also raised by psychopaths. My sister actually randomly came across a quiz that made her realize she was a sociopath and idk maybe the self awareness will help her develop empathy idk 😅 it is very darkly funny hearing her talk about her astonishment about this because it's been obvious to me for our entire lives, bless her heart 🤣

It sounds like your attention is being really drawn to this discrepancy between you and your cousin as a way of identifying a path you'd like to be on. Comparison can be a really wonderful (if painful) way of flagging when you aren't on the right path.

What would happen if you could just throw all the stuff you're unhappy with right now in the fire, and let your life emerge from the flames like a phoenix in a new path of love? It's hard and lonely but I've done it and it's better than continuing to drink poison.

I wish you luck and just know you aren't alone internet friend 🥰

Gowron 1mo ago

Definitely not alone!

Kip Ashlynn 1mo ago

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago 💬 4

I wish my brother could happen across a quiz like that, and then actually do it, which would be another miracle.

What would happen if I could throw this life in the fire? Well, I've done it in the past - that was why I went and lived in China for several years. I gave away everything I had, packed a few clothes into one backpack, and left. I didn't sell my stuff - I didn't have the patience. Even my car. And then I didn't tell anyone I'd arrived for like a month, which felt great.

But I came back. Shouldn't've.

I think this is part of why I initially liked Christianity. I mean, there's tons of reasons, but there's a story that I resonated with. Jesus told people to sell their shit and follow him. That's how you do it. Just fucking go. Throw it into the fire, as you say.

Kip Ashlynn 1mo ago 💬 1

My sister gave me the quiz without the context and when I answered like a non-sociopath she yelled at me that I was purposely making up the "right" answer because I secretly knew the context and wanted to make her look bad... Which is exactly what a sociopath would interpret the situation as 🤣

https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/reports/news/a42413/one-question-psychopath-test-is-it-real/

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago 💬 1

And exactly how my brother interprets such situations.

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago 💬 1

Yay, I answered the question wrong, I pass... The linked thing.

Kip Ashlynn 1mo ago 💬 1

It's really not hard, I was so confused 🤣

She was like "OBVIOUSLY TO SEE THE GUY AGAIN WHY ARE YOU ACTING DUMB"

Bitch what?! 😦

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago 💬 1

I just giggled. Gotta own it. It wasn't manly at all.

"Bitch what?!" 😂

Kip Ashlynn 1mo ago 💬 1

The whole conversation was an absolute head trip, it was wild.

"I'm sorry, are you telling me you'd murder me if it meant you got to see a cute guy again?"

"Well I'm married now so..."

"So what, that doesn't answer the question girl!"

There are more stories I have than I can count, but this girl punched herself in the face hard enough to give herself a bad bloody nose just to get me in trouble when she was 9. By the time she was 10 she let her pet starve to death because I would go into tears over sneaking into her room to feed it until I was absolutely forbidden. My family told me I was the sociopath because I cared more for animals than my sister 😭

I stayed calm and talked her through it a bit and we got so close 😅

"Well, I'm a mom now and I'm worried because it can't be good for my kids if I'm a sociopath..."

(I waited, bated breath, our mom is 100% a sociopath and it's a big part of why I haven't talked to her in over a decade)

"...but it's just a dumb Cosmo quiz I found on Facebook so it's not like it's anything to take seriously!"

So close 🤷‍♀️😭🤣

Sat Nakamoto 1mo ago

I am not sure if this tests for psychopaths or the quality of your radar to detect potential psychopaths around you. Maybe that was the intent of the test. Gotta admire her ability to come to with that possibility. Your ability to not be killed by predators around you is directly proportional to your ability to detect them?

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago

That not caring about the suffering of animals seems to be a tell. I've seen plenty of it... Including the not feeding them.

Scott ••• 1mo ago

That’s amazing - what was it like to live in China with nothing but a backpack to start with? I’m not joking , that’s a gutsy move!

Sat Nakamoto 1mo ago

In nietzche’s three metamorphoses, the lion will burn everything… (highly predictable) but the child is a psychopath, it’s unpredictable. It plays. It will burn down the house if it needs to, but it’s not chained down like the beast of burden.

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago 💬 2

Interesting. I need to revisit Nietzsche, and do it right this time.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1mo ago 💬 1

i recommend reading Osho's analysis and explanation of that story, it features as one of the cards, i forget what the other animal was, a pig or something, wallowing in the mud, the lion is angry and righteous, and the child is just playing, on the osho zen tarot it's pictured as a child dancing playing a flute

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago

Learning about it now, thanks for the tip

Sat Nakamoto 1mo ago 💬 1

The beast of burden is the camel… it’s where the phrase “the last straw” that broke the camel’s back came from. Right before it morph into the lion.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1mo ago 💬 1

ah yes. complacent, filthy, rude and self satisfied. and stubborn. the image of the normie

Sat Nakamoto 1mo ago 💬 1

I don’t believe Nietzsche intended for it to be so despicable, it’s actually a form we must take on while we are “learning” or “connecting”. The magic of the child is that it can be both the camel (say yes) and the lion (say no) all at once. In addition the child goes beyond the binary of yes and no, creating new ideas (reminds me of the Buddha’s middle path).

Maybe it’ll murder someone if it has to 😄 saying thall shall not kill to the child is more like a suggestion than a commandment.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1mo ago 💬 1

nah, the dancing child doesn't murder. it just may make mistakes. there is a time for all things under heaven - ecclesiastes. it may also cry as well as laugh, taunt or console. it's just a human without social blinkers and brainwashing, IMO

Sat Nakamoto 1mo ago 💬 1

I think that’s exactly how psychopaths work.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1mo ago 💬 2

yeah, that's one of the themes in his work that makes me not so interested in it. IMO he was reacting against calvinist protestantism, which i also disagree with.

Sat Nakamoto 1mo ago

Disagree with Calvinism or Nietszche?

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago 💬 2

Calvinism was a Jewish conspiracy to benefit the banks in the Netherlands by changing Christianity to allow usury.

There, I said it. Give the internet 5 years - after I say things, that's the time until the internet in general figures it out.

Sat Nakamoto 1mo ago

And what is going to happen when the internet figures it out?

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago 💬 2

They'll have a new thing to talk about. That's all that ever happens.

Sat Nakamoto 1mo ago

The amount of conspiracy theories on nostr is too damn high.

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago 💬 2

Its a very strong indication that intelligence agencies are active here. They looooooove conspiracy theories.

Sat Nakamoto 1mo ago

Are you a fed?

Comte de Sats Germain 1mo ago 💬 1

No. But you should assume that's a lie.

Sat Nakamoto 1mo ago 💬 1

Sat Nakamoto 1mo ago

I actually got an interview with the CIA once. They sent me the plain ticket to Maryland and an address that when i looked it up just looks like an empty lot full of trees. I never got on the plane. Went a different direction.