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Belonging is in the category of family.

Owning is in the category of property.

Conflating these leads to problems in the violations of interpersonal boundaries, that God has endowed to each person, and child.

Men are responsible for leading and stewarding their father relationship to their kids, because they belong to him. But he doesn't own them. And thinking he does own them is a categorical error, not only in how he relates to them but also in terms of implicitly believing he is God.

And that's the arrogance Laser is inadvertently demonstrating. No person gets to decide for another person their life choices, including their career. That is the person's choice alone.

So if a father insists on making that choice for his daughter, he is implicitly communicating, "I know better than you." And, "I don't trust you to make choices for yourself " And is entering into a version of codependence and enmeshment. And that is dishonoring towards her, and by extension, God. Because he's saying he doesn't trust God to be God of his daughter.

Do fathers get to steward their households? Yes.

Do they get to control their children's lives once those children have grown to adulthood and can make their own choices?

No.

Boadee 5mo ago 💬 2

Now accusation of arrogance. This will not end well. Perhaps tend your own garden

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Discussion

FikaTimeBooks.com 5mo ago

In some sense, arrogance is, "I know best. I am better than others."

Lasers assertion that, "My daughters are too valuable for a career," implies that he knows better than his daughters how they should live their lives. While I'm sure he loves his daughters and wants the best for them, it seems, based on his assertion, that he already thinks he knows that that is, rather than helping them to discover their destinies themselves in partnership and intimacy with God.

Perhaps it is an accusation, but for me it's less an accusation than an observation.

"Perhaps tend your garden." I don't mind debating as long as it remains respectful. I don't like when people give me unsolicited advice, because it's a sign of an effort to control.

knightfall21 5mo ago

The deeper issue is that you see women as men with different genitals. But women aren't men. Their brains are wired differently. They are wired to nurture, and make sure people are nice and follow the rules. Men, on the other hand, are wired to be colder logical thinkers, risk takers, and have a better ability to directly give and take critical advice.

This difference makes men temperamentally suited for business and the workplace. It doesn't mean women can't do it, it means men are better at the inner fortitude required for work. (Notice that nowhere did I mention IQ, it's irrelevant).

With that basis, it's clear that women on average are better suited be nurturers at home by default. Existing under the headship of a father or husband becomes the natural place for girls to be.