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three nights ago i drank way too much vodka and it just triggered me so bad i'm like, i can't drink anymore, this shit just makes me so depressed.

i tried to also stop smoking, but after 2 days and this stress of job hunting i broke and started again.

but the alcohol is right off the agenda. worst thing about it is it totally destroys my productivity. second worst thing is it is doing weird things to my circulation that make sleep unpleasant and give me weird sensations in my extremities.

the only thing is, i can't sleep now. i probably have laid there trying to sleep for like 8 hours both days since stopping, and wind up just getting up and trying to do stuff, and, actually doing the stuff. but i'm exhausted. i hope i will start to feel normal sleep again soon.

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Discussion

vinney...axkl 5mo ago

have you considered other forms of nicotine that don't involve tobacco?

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 5mo ago

the old school herbal form at least limits how much i can take at once

when vaping came out like 18 years ago i tried it out, and quickly got to using the strongest juice i could find, and would just vape until my head was exploding with a headache. at least the burning stuff doesn't allow me to dose that high. also, it wasn't "satisfying" and i have a theory that actually it's reducing my lung oxygen levels that is what i'm hooked on most of all.

Kip Ashlynn 5mo ago

I fell off the wagon after a series of "lil treats" for my birthday and the stress of the conference last month. My ganja ran out three days ago, and I find myself reaching for replacements. But like you said, alcohol isn't appealing. It makes me feel sick and anxious for far longer than it makes me happy, IF it makes me happy at all.

I made some CBD/THC oil myself which helps feel a bit better in the evenings. It doesn't really affect my clarity of mind so it's not "fun" but I feel a bit more relaxed and I can go to sleep. Without something my brain moves too fast and I want to do projects until I go crazy from exhaustion so that's not ideal. It's a frustrating way to feel and I hope you get out of it soon 🫂

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 5mo ago

yeah, i just totally did not conserve my resources well enough in the last year. i could have been sitting on well over a bitcent by now, but instead if i don't get a job nailed down in the next two months i'm in big trouble.

Kip Ashlynn 5mo ago

Same. I'm hoping I find one before I have to start buying fiat 😭

Good luck to you sir