Man I am always the one in control in every aspect of my life, maybe I should really try this sub thing.
Having a space where I can give up control and not having to think or taking decisions seems more and more attracting lately.
Is that how you experience it man?
From what I know ppl who like to be sub is for 1) they like giving up control 2) they are total bastards in their life and they want to be sub to be punished thus purging “their sins” 3) it’s simply a fetish and find it sexy
hi, fren~!
this is an excellent question, and one i can dive deeply into and take in so many different directions. i'll try and keep it brief though. :3
i think it's somewhat relatable—having a space where you can give up control. however, this becomes more of a space for escapism than actual surrender. being a sub in a lifestyle arrangement doesn't typically equate to being passive, making no decisions, or losing agency. maybe during play—or maybe sessions with a pro this is more accurate..?
the second one, i'm not a really a jerk, so it doesn't resonate at all.
the third is also relatable—i do find it highly erotic in some contexts, but this is an oversimplification. and a sole focus on the kink and fetish aspect lends itself more to selfishness than true surrender.
for me, it's something more than a space to relinquish control—it's something in my wiring; it feels like an innate desire to please. but more than that it's a space where i feel safe to stop "performing" and to be vulnerable. to take the mask off and not just be seen, but be claimed.
there is an aching within me give myself totally, completely, unequivocally, to Her. to place my heart, my soul, my everything at Her feet. it's more than just a space—it's an unrivaled connection...
tldr: this is more of a lifestyle for me, so while there are aspects and moments that relieve pressure and stress, it's truly about the connection it brings. ^^
Allright! so if I got it correctly for you it's something in "your genetic" and it's a safe space to be vulnerable (I assume you must really trust someone to do this anyway).
But I also hear that you have agenuine desire to please and give yourself totally to your wife (do you get such a strong feeling as you described only with your wife, or in the past you had it so strong also for other women? because to me it sounds you really lost it for your wife, lucky you!).
Anyway much respect man 😉
well, i'm not sure if it's something "genetic" as much as it's just something that makes up a part of my identity. i'm also not so sure if i'd feel this way with other women because my Wife is my first and only long-term relationship.
early on, i felt ashamed of my submissive desires and tried to hide it for awhile (trying to disguise it as just "gentlemanly" behavior), but She kind of naturally drew it out of me in Her own way. it took a lot of work for me to get this far in my journey, and i wonder—if it weren't for Her, perhaps this part of me would have manifested and remained only in the shadow, the sexual realm, instead of being integrated more holistically...
but anyway, i think the key point really may be a space to be vulnerable rather than an explicit loss of control (though at times that might be one and the same). it's comforting to have a place to be able to take all the armor off—and yep, it's takes a lot of trust and courage to do so. ^^
thank you so much for the kind words—i truly am a lucky kitty. :3
and thank you again for the discussion and the show of interest—it's much appreciated. ^__^
Sometimes it does take a special person to help us draw out something that was always in us, I’m glad you found her!
Yes, being able to feel vulnerable with someone else is one of the greatest human feeling.
Hey man anytime 👍🏼 and thanks to you too, it’s always a pleasure exchanging ideas and try to better understand others 😁 much love to you kitty ♥️♥️
I second the wiring issue 😅 I don't really see the appeal of a dom pro, save for fleeting kinky release. But that's just skin deep, the need to devote to Her is another league. Can't really imagine having a one night stand and being a good sub in that position. Sure, I could roleplay, but it would be exactly that, kinky play, not something that would actually scratch the sub itch of mine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
omg yes
this sentiment resonates so well~! :3
it's about the relationship—the connection. and the depth of devotion just can't be explored in a single night.
i suppose you could have a relationship over time with someone professionally, but it would just feel like business..? idk
like you expressed, there is just a deeper need than "play" ^^
