My dad killed himself in front of me when I was about 3/4 years old. I held on to his leg and asked him not to leave me. I don’t remember what I had for dinner last week, but I’ll never forget this. His fear of living outweighed his fear of death, I suppose. David Foster Wallace said ‘the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames’. My dad loved me, I know that, but he did it anyway. Being a kid was so stressful. I rather like getting older. I didn’t feel the sadness of it until I started dating. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. Love is fucking painful sometimes.

I smile when I think back cos when kids would ask me about my dad in the playground I would just tell them what happened like it was nothing. No sensor. Kids are honest creatures. One time my teacher told me off in front of the whole class cos I was late to school and when she asked me why, I told her the truth. My mum was drunk again. She got all awkward and changed the subject and I remember being so confused why she did that, cos I thought she would laugh. I felt like I did something wrong. ‘Was I meant to lie? But I don’t like to lie’ I’d think. The great thing about a diary is that you never have to lie to them. They are incredibly understanding.

All this to say I think that’s why I’m so drawn to writers like David foster Wallace and Charles Bukowski. I love honesty. I like deep, authentic people. So curious. I want to understand. And I think maybe I do. It’s why I’m so curious about people’s parents, their childhoods and I love people watching. Why I can’t bear to see a child hurt. Why I sometimes can’t stand the sight of alcohol. It’s definitely shaped my views and tastes in art and literature. My moral compass. My dreams. My style of love.

We’ve all got such interesting (sometimes a little dark) unique yet similar stories.

From people watching I learnt that social interaction is the secret ingredient to longevity ❤️‍🔥 love people - not things - even if it hurts to love them.

I know this is going to sound odd but I wouldn’t change anything about my past for many reasons but one is because It made me who I am and I like who I am - not perfect at all but deeply emotional with a need to understand. That’s not too bad, I think. I’m like slightly overcooked pasta. Still edible to someone who doesn’t mind the texture. That’s the secret to making real friends, too. If your friend doesn’t want to bite you, then they probably aren’t right for you.

That’s just my feeling as a completely inexperienced 29 year old who has barely traveled and is still figuring life out.

Just thinking out loud. Again.

Alright, I’m going to get back to reading 🫂

I’m feeling awfully inspired lately ❤️‍🔥

Sorry for starting the note off so direct. I just find it so ridiculous that people use the word ‘unalive’ on YouTube. We created words to express ourselves and communicate. We should have power over the words we want to use, words shouldn’t have power over us - if that makes sense.

Omg you have no idea how bad I was hooked. I’ve only been fully anti inflammatory for like a month so it was a real battle with myself

I’ve been doing the same thing. The diet change has been really hard

I have a chronic pain condition (endometriosis). I’ve had surgeries, done physical therapy, tried holistic solutions, started an anti inflammatory diet, and been prescribed countless medications (most of which narcotics).

A lot of flare ups last multiple days where I am unable to get out of bed. It’s an indescribable pain and the limited quality of life can make it depressing as fuck a lot of times.

Earlier on in my diagnosis, I was given opiates. They worked, but terrified me because I already recovered from addiction issues when I was younger.

I saw in the news that some women in Australia with endometriosis were fighting with the government over medical marijuana allowances, which started my studies.

It’s also supported in many of the medical journals that particular strains of full-spectrum cannabis have been proven successful in treating endometriosis pain.

At my dispensary, I’ve discovered a few (indica dominate) strains that have allowed me so much relief and more participation in daily life activities.

Do I enjoy being stoned? Sure. But the relief is why I love marijuana and have been so grateful for it recently.

Also consider selling those. Many people would buy one, including me.

not even kidding Apollo just took the ps5 controller and changed the music to the LOTR soundtrack. I am so proud 🥹

There’s a real possibility bitcoin maxis are stopping greater nostr adoption…

Shower thought:

Every ancestor in your lineage, from your parents all the way back through the beginning of time has successfully reproduced... ensuring your existence.

Are you really prepared to be the first failure in your history...?

🌻

nostr:note1g3pmvpwcy3sukuqzn293h4p0pahjplqk52sc2xck0crkedjx36nqugf99w

Can’t say we didn’t know

Front page of NYT

Hi beautiful beings, I'm Miel ~ Honey ~

I was born, raised and live in the heart of the Costa Rican jungle.

My deep connection to the earth has guided me towards herbalism, psilocybin 🍄 & self-care rituals. I am also exploring and learning about Bitcoin as a tool towards financial freedom and personal sovereignty.

Here I will share my days in the jungle, reflections on life, ancestral practices and reflections on living in harmony with nature

Pura vida! 🦋

I used to rock a canon 5d mkii for years

Is X down again or just me? 😬

Offf, this is awesome!

#introductions

Thanks for all the great conversations on the X Space Ian, Ben, Jimi and all the others and now I am here too.

Just a truth seeker/freedom protector here to share love and knowledge. Waking up to the actual history that was hidden from us. Finding solutions to countering the tyranny that we have all woken up to more intensely in the last 5 years and beyond.

Exciting times I think many from X will come check Nostr out….just the beginning

Just a few quotes from when things really went historically sideways

My default assumption is that in 30 years

.1 bitcoin = millionaire

10 bitcoin = billionaire

10,000 bitcoin = trillionaire