Good Morning Nostr 🌞. Question for Nostr parents of toddlers: Do your little ones sleep in a crib or in the bed with you? Our baby co-sleeps with us. I know there are risks, but it's been months without any issues, and she sleeps much better this way.
Discussion
generally no for infants
Both co slept with us. It’s all good
No issues in the future of getting them to sleep on their own?
Babies are always a pain for sleeping :)
Our second was moved to a crib earlier and did more naps on their own due to logistics of having two kids.
Getting kids to sleep on their own is hard with kite of crying almost entirely because it’s a little ‘unnatural’ for them
Our first child who co slept longer and was carried everywhere is way way more independent and secure these days.
So I don’t think there’s necessarily a downside caused there , but that’s not a large sample size 🤣
Co-slept without any issues. Crib stood next to the bed but was heavily opposed by the mother...🤷♂️😁
Yeah, we’ve got the crib next to the bed as well. They usually nap in there. Did you have any issues in the future of getting them to sleep on their own?
We have a bit of a special situation here. The bedroom is the only room with AC. In the hot months we still sleep all in the bedroom, which is actually not unusual in rural Thailand where the sleeping place is set up every evening. In the cooler months the situation is different and the child, or sometimes me, sleep on her own. The situation is fluid so to say...😁
GM
Both my children slept with us. Makes night time feeding less disruptive. We did have a crib attached to the side of the bed that we could eventually lay them off which helped to transition them but they were with us for many months.
🙏 I'll be less worried about it now after all the comments of people doing the same and it ended up alright.
Good morning Ivan ☕️ ours always (90%) start in the crib at night, and eventually migrate to our bed… and honestly with our youngest now that is 18 months, it seemed after she turned 3 months old, she has slept in our bed the whole night at least once a week… really the only precautions we’ve ever taken is just to make sure that there wasn’t a way for her to roll under a pillow or anywhere she could get smothered or get over heated by too many blankets on her… once she was strong enough to sit up or stand on her own… a lot of the concerns went away because she could regulate her own comfort level… now the bigger issue is one restless nights we have to keep her from flopping off the edge of the bed head first…
We have some nights like that where she starts in her crib, and when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she ends up in bed with us. It's not 100% of the night always with us because I don't want to create a dependency, but she definitely sleeps better with us.
the main risk is this becoming a long term solution.
Coslept with both our kids. Everyone sleeps better. No issues.
Co-slept both. Risk was on my mind constantly so I isolated the kids in their own small bed mat inside our bed. It’s like a soft bed you’d find for pets - but for kids
Yeah, it worried me a bit as well. We did something similar when she was an infant, but now we have that fence thing for around the bed because the worry now is her moving around and falling off the bed.
I did the same - but not an actual fence but a “bump” that goes under the sheet to prevent roll off. They never did though.
The whole "co-sleeping is dangerous thing" is a psy op. It might be dangerous if you and your wife are in the bottom quintile and go to sleep drunk and high. Otherwise, you good.
I never did this with my kids but we had sleepovers probably once a week. Everything worked out fine and they are good sleepers. A friend did frequent sleeping with her kid and it turned into a dependency. The kid was 8 and still wanting it so it impacted friend sleepovers and when the parent went to bed. I think everything in moderation. It is a good way to bond but you want your child to be able to self soothe.
Risks ?? ..you are doing the right thing .. my 2 slept on my chest :-)
Never co-slept with our two kids, we sleep trained our children to sleep in their own beds. I know plenty of people who co-slept with their children and they all are fine. To each their own, the co-sleeping is “bad” is a fallacy and if your family loves it you should do it.
For us it’s about sound sleep for everyone. We created a super loving bed time routine for the kids and it works for them. A little independence is what we want for our children and if they really need us in the middle of the night they are always welcome in our bed. All families should do what is best for them.
Yeah, it worried me a bit, but like you said, it's a fallacy, and whatever works so that everyone sleeps well is best. A good bedtime routine is key, too 🙏
Keep doing what you're doing. The risks (minimal if you don't smoke or drink or sleep in a waterbed) are reduced if you follow James McKenna PhD's safe co-sleeping guidelines. Babies have evolved to co-sleep for their safety. Separate sleeping in cots in separate rooms is a new and damaging invention of modernity. They will have much better emotional regulation the more time they spend with loving family. A baby who co-sleeps is touched many 10's of thousands time more than a child who sleeps alone, and every one of those touches helps build their brain for optimal learning and development. www.evolvednest.org for evidence.
No right or wrong.
Ours were in their own room and crib from the 3rd night onwards.
They and we slept better that way and neve lr any issues
We co-sleep.
It's natural. Every mammal on the planet does it. Majority of cultures around the world do it. It's how we're meant to be. There's no PURPLE crying doing things this way.
Putting a baby in a crib is not. It's the industrial age way of making sure parents can get to work. Children grow up with separation anxiety and unable to self-soothe. They can't thrive if they have to focus on surviving.
As for the risks...
If you're a drinker or a smoker... or maybe a heavy sleeper, yea. Be aware. But you have just as much a chance or higher of a baby dying in the crib when swaddled. You just wouldn't notice.
But to each their own.