Screens are terrible and should be nowhere near a kid.
Our relationship with our 6yo improved 100x a few years ago when we went from "a little bit of screentime" to "absolutely no screentime ever"
Highly recommend.
Discussion
as a dad, how are you gonna approach the phase when your kid's gonna eventually want to have their own phone?
happy to hear it's all going so well 🤗
I expect by the time she is in age to make such an ask understanding how bad screens are, particularly phones, will be so common that she'll be able to self-limit without looking like a total weirdo.
we'll see, one thing I've learned about parenting (and life) is that you mostly don't need to get ahead of yourself trying to fix problems that have not occurred and might never do.
flip phone
En mi experiencia, lo más tarde posible.
But like, how do you get anything done around the house without a screen? It’s literally impossible for us to cook, clean and do our basic chores without 1 hour of screen time a day (we’re strict with that limit but damn is it necessary!)
I honestly thought so too, but after a while of going to absolutely zero screen time she went from requiring constant entertaining to being able to play by herself for hours.
I 100% understand your sentiment though, I used to think no screentime would be playing parenting in HARD mode on, but I'm now convinced SOME screentime is playing parenting in ULTRA HARD mode.
Not a criticism, just a hopefully constructive idea: what about inviting the kid to help with the chores? I hear a lot about how helping grownups can be like play at young ages. It might slow things down at first as they learn, but the payoff could eventually be getting MORE stuff done and a kid who doesn’t hate chores.
And time connecting, of course
Oh for sure. Kid helps empty the dishwasher, unload the groceries etc. and the older he gets the more he can do (he’s only 3). But we don’t want him in proximity of knives or fire and I spend a solid 4 hours cooking per week… that’s the kind of stuff I need to invoke screen time for.
Wow, legit zero screen time? That seems like it would be hard to pull of with a 6yo, especially if you are on screens all the time. Is there a particular strategy for this? 🤔
To be devil's advocate, I have 3 children. With my oldest daughter we strictly monitored screen time. My son basically has free range of screens. My youngest daughter is only 18 months old so screens aren't really a thing. In my experience with both older kids, excess screen time absolutely correlates with poorer behavior/mood. However, my son is less affected by this... presumably due to having so much access. My oldest is in high school so she's had a phone now for a couple years. I also police how much time she gets with it because when she has it, the world around her ceases to exist. My son isn't that way at all and will focus when you talk to him. My problem now is that my daughter is 17 and I KNOW she needs more access and time with her phone... but any time I give it to her longer, she doesn't get the other stuff done that she needs to. So, I agree I like less screen time, but I also still know nothing lol
Similar experience here. Both of my kids have unlimited screen time and they don’t really watch all that much. I think being able to watch as much as they want makes them bored of it. In fact, they constantly ask me to play with them instead, which if I’m not super busy I try to do.
I still feel bad for developing Amethyst in this world. Gotta figure out a way to improve this.
Amethyst and Nostr apps are so much better than 99% of every other kind of screen time you get nowadays.
Except maybe ebooks.
The type of screen matters. The whole experience is so much less stimulating on a monochrome nostr:npub1a00wj229auzjswlq4s77y4u8eqdx5k9ppatgl8rtv8va65f6mwksum9q3h reflecting the sun and without flicker or blue light while using the backlight. keep building 🫡
you and will both have this curse of being the main dudes making the things for the users of the gadget
life happens, at least you get paid, maybe you can find ways to cut down the job by pushing it out to other things... i like what you are doing with this notifications suggestion, it is the way™️
also nostr:npub1l5sga6xg72phsz5422ykujprejwud075ggrr3z2hwyrfgr7eylqstegx9z there is a lot of good logic in the idea we only need one app per platform for the success of this protocol, just saying... watching vitor ruminate about notifications got me thinking about that... how we really don't need more than one, and that's not even a communist idea, it's not a physical product, it's a concept that is executed by a machine
just to be clear, a different client might be good for a specific, PAID service but for the generic twitter clone use case we really only need one, and really, this can eventually mean one codebase, all the things
it's just a matter of building that base on each platform that you can push the One Thing onto
less addictive 🤙🏽😂
Amethyst never pulls me in. I come to it when I feel like it. Huge improvement!
A simple suggestion: build a desktop client.
PCs are a different species than smartphones, they are built to produce things, not just consume them. Therefore they have a more complex, more ductile and therefore more creative environment, which naturally develops skills.
yes.
🙌
I've made a few jokes about this, but i genuinely appreciate the connections and learning I've made through Amethyst, and thank you 🫂.
As communities find use cases for specific apps i'd expect a smaller need for the firehose that is microblogging, and towards a slower, more information rich space as we aggregate to our niches. The everything app will no doubt adapt for such a situation.
How does she learn to code?
I FOUND A BALANCE AROUND 99% NO SCREEN TIME MOST DAYS IS ABOUT THE RIGHT BALANCE FOR NOW ANYWAY!
So curious to see if nostr:npub1a00wj229auzjswlq4s77y4u8eqdx5k9ppatgl8rtv8va65f6mwksum9q3h *improves this. Probably won’t completely fix things. But we’ve had quite a few reports of kids not throwing tantrums as opposed to when parents take away iPads…. Shipping to more people soon so time will tell.
Why would the screen type change a thing? Watching TV leaves your brain less active than actually sleeping. You burn less calories.
At night, the pure light of course is an issue but a Daylight Computer still needs light somehow.
They're an adult product not suitable for children.
We've had a no phones / tablets policy for all of ours going on ten years now. I definitely notice the difference in phone vs no phone children.
The negative effects are becoming more widely understood by parents which is good. More children being smartphone free makes it easier for others to do the same. Around 30% is the key number.
We have this movement in the UK that is gaining traction. https://smartphonefreechildhood.co.uk/
We're on the same team
sounds easy when you say it fast
I came to accept the fact that getting “them off the iPad” is a hard endeavour; which results in 2 minutes tantrums. Sometimes more if they use the device for longer.
Having said that…. Having 15 minutes for myself is delightfully selfish sometimes.
Well, that's exactly the point. If your kid can't find anything to do if it's not actively entertained by either you or a screen, the screen does harm while you do good but them being alone also does good as they get bored and can break out of that boredom by being creative. Screens and always present care givers are not good for creativity. Kids also need some time alone with their toys or better yet in nature.
You are holding a screen. So am I.
I agree with you, but I try to be less of a hypocrite.
With that being said is hard not to let my kids do, what I do.
They have time with toys and time in the garden also.
And screens are information, you can get something out of that reality, sometimes.
Well, I see the hypocrisy, too and try to reduce my own screen time and whenever my kid is approaching, I always switch off my phone if not in the middle of a call.
I try to make time on a screen count but yes, I do read and post on nostr before getting into difficult work tasks and yes, there are tons of temptations when working on a screen all day.
I wish I had the iron will to only do meaningful things and the wisdom to decide which activity is actually good or bad for my future.
Writing this comment for example ... is it shitposting? Will it make a difference in my life or yours? As Jordan Peterson says: Most people cannot actually think without expressing their thoughts in voice or writing so I'm inclined to believe it helps me get these topics I care about straight in my head. Even if I don't hit send ;)
Is it shitposting when I think your comment has value?
I’m sure your kid is proud of you.
There is a video from 1987 at a Disney world and I was blown away at how random people all looked at each other and engaged.
https://youtu.be/RYbe-35_BaA?si=OOvkhYHmItQ1x1Kd
My dad is about 60 and grew up in the 80s. I asked him how it was that everyone was so engaged and present, now a days everyone is hesitant to interact even if they’re not on their phones. He responded immediately: “other people were your source of entertainment, you looked at them because that is where the interesting stuff will happen.”
Taking screens away is great. I’ve seen kids be totally not present when surrounded by people and they’re disadvantaged. It’s as if they have autism but they’re just always wasting YouTube at the dinner table. As adults, the girl you’re simping to or the streamer you watch and think is your friend aren’t as real, interesting, and rewarding as the relationships with people around you.
Funny, just removed the Pi from my daughter’s room after she was busted using it for social media. Was gonna give it back as promised, but the week when it was gone was so much better, I just bribed her to let us keep it until the end of the year.
My kids have been raised media free. They are thirteen and we are starting to hear the complaints about it now but I wanted them to have a chance to know the difference of what life is like plugged vs. unplugged. They’ll have plenty of time to get addicted when they are older. It’s not easy though.
I'm glad your relationship improved with your child and that you have that as a goal. Children are like plants, they thrive when their parents shine light into their lives.
maybe voice & speaker interface + AI is better suited for children
I’m right there with you. I tried a little bit of screen time but immediately went back to nothing because of the emotions it would bring out.
I disagree. Screens aren’t terrible. Algorithms are.
Letting your kid stare at whatever Instagram throws at them for 2 hours straight so you can have a nice chat at your aunts birthday party is indeed horrible. Letting your kid solve puzzles in a video game, or have them learn how their favorite animals hunt via clips on the net is good for them. And for you. And you can bond over it, because it gives you common ground to talk about stuff.
I let my kids use whatever device they want, but up front, we agree on what we’re gonna do. For example: I’m going to search on YouTube for a clip of a falcon hunting prey. After it’s done, we turn YouTube off. No problem, very educational.
Ive taught them about the attention trap that most sites are, and they know how to navigate about them. All in all, a screen is just another tool. No point forbidding it, eventually they will get in touch with them anyway (at neighbors, friends, school, sport etc) and they’ll push back hard on you when they do find out. In my opinion, the best way to go about it is to teach them how to use it to their advantage.
We do quite a lot of screentime with our three year old. A lot means probably a disney movie a week plus a little bit (15 minutes) of bluey maybe once or twice during the week, some weeks none.
1. Its never on a tablet, its always on the big screen where we can watch together
2. We dont do it if shes tired, its more like a treat. And you dont get treats every day, right.
3. It has to be quality stuff, no garbage cartoons. We enjoy the classics. Also preferably something we'd enjoy watching with her.
4. We also use it as a means to teach her her mother tongue
I think its the small screens that are the worst, because then the kid is isolated.
💯
Give them books! Make a library in your own home, your kids will thank you in 10-20 years when they realize a lot of their knowledge comes from the greats which you as a parent, invest in.
While yes, I do understand that screens can cause harm, it's also a good idea to start introducing them to using only FOSS when they're old enough to understand good OPSEC.
Honest qs because we had similar issues but chose to limit time:
Did/do you also get rid the of your screens at home (or relegate to workstations rather than mobile screens)?
Is there a plan to introduce screens eventually? I often look back at my youth which included plenty of time on the computer, and while I'm sure it concerned my parents at the time it turned into a luctative and rewarding career.
Children don't want screens - they want to play ..
Parents want them to play on iPads ..
As an educator, I can generally tell which families allow electronics and which don't. The latter are definitely better off.
As for your family's decision, what was the transition like? Did you have any specific strategies or stopgaps to help kids leave their tablets and whatnot behind?
Just when I was thinking of getting into vr lol
Define "a little bit of screentime"
15 to 30 minutes a day was “a little screen time”
Poison.
OK agreed. We have movie night Fridays and once or twice a week 1 hour of drawing on an iPad pro and it's fine.. But absolutely cut that back too.
There's a study let me dig it up
I highly recommend letting kids do whatever they want. Otherwise resentment builds. You don’t think they won’t find a way to do it behind your back? Set the example you want your kids to do. Otherwise you’re a hypocrite
Yes, I often let my kids run into traffic and do meth because they felt like it.
I can set an example AND not allow them to overdose in poison.
This!
facts.
At what age do you think this can change? I want my son to be computer literate and running a node. So many kids now are great with screens, just using it for the most useless purposes like tiktok
how was the relationship before?
you are a subhuman rat