Not effective nor appropriate.

It is, yes, to some degree.

Zero point. I was spanked and look how annoying i am. I don’t spank my kids

It can definitely be effective

Whether it’s appropriate or not is subjective. I imagine most boomers would say yes in some circumstances. Millennials would probably lean strongly towards no in the west, but that may be changing?

You can raise an entire child without ever raising a hand.

Now, my teenager I wish I’d knocked around a bit 😂 she’s an adult now. I have some regerts

Did ground the hell out of her, it didn’t take. Nothing would take. She was a rough kid. I did my best. And I never, ever hit her or any kid and never would.

effective if using it appropriately.

you cannot reason with a child as an adult and by the observations of how children react in public places and against each other, it shows that appropriate spankings and appropriate discipline is lacking in the family unit.

Not horrible if done *very* sparingly.

When I have children, I won’t do it though.

Absolutely not. Never going to teach malleable kids how to engage with other people in a healthy or constructive way. There is always a more constructive (and less abusive) way to teach a child that they did something wrong and how to be better.

Spanking is a reflection (in the most generous of scenarios) of a frustrated parent’s helplessness, but more often it’s downright aggression and abuse and no way to ever treat another human being. Especially one whom you love, and who loves and is dependent upon the parent.

Tough love has its (limited) place but physical punishment is way past the line. If an adult spanked you, you would either thank them, pay them, or press charges 🤷‍♂️

My two sats

I think it's an easy way ....but in my opinion the better way is to engage with your kids. spend time with them and be their mentor. but what do i know

my two sats:

Depends on the temperament of the child.

Also, cannot be driven by anger or rage-fueled.

Never on face.

Part of me feels girls should be exempt - but then again, depends on temperament.

Offenses that have spanking consequences should be clearly laid out and known. e.g. hitting teacher at school -> gonna get a spanking

Not sure but you know what’s really cool? Going on a podcast and talking about how you are bitcoin only and love bitcoin blah blah blah and have the host juggle your balls and then two weeks later start a eth etf.

No. It's a dimwit move to take frustration out on children. It teaches them that violence is an acceptable way of interacting with others and that their parents really don't care for them.

People saying "it never did me any harm" just aren't accepting that it did.

To a certain age. Once your children can sit down and listen for 5 minutes about why they shouldn't do something, then it's not appropriate. You shouldn't be spanking your 10 year old. Or spanking without plenty of prior warning. Can't just start with spanking. that's not really fair. If you're told 10 times to stop, or you will get one, then it's plenty warranted.

It should be a very last resort

I was spanked MANY times.

Never scarred by it. But scared enough to smarten the fuck up.

Interesting the amount of virtue signaling coming from those who do not themselves have children.

It is the ultimate in efficacy!! I think it's appropriate in certain situations.

I have multiple kids. Some spanked and some not. I would say yes it's effective. The ones who were spanked have a higher degree of respect and following directions.

No, and I regret ever having done it in the past. If you’re hitting a child, you’re the one who has a behavioral problem.

People used to say, "Spare the rod, spoil the child."

It is biblical.

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him."

"He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

Proverbs 22:15; 13:24

I don’t believe it’s an effective option. But I’m by no means a perfect parent, so try not to judge unless it’s obviously over the line. I think it’s just too easy to get carried away or hurt your relationship with your kid.

However, I firmly believe every teenage boy needs at least one moment where their father has to physically remind them who’s in charge. I once thought I was bigger and badder than my dad. He calmly and quickly proved me wrong by picking me up by the shirt, and I’m not a small guy. Put me right in place 🤣

I don’t think it’s a good idea

I don't think it is effective in this era.

Hard to say.

I don't see myself spanking my girls. I don't see myself spanking a boy as well.

I would rather not.

Maybe in some rare cases it could be justified ?

It depends on the child as well.

So no 99.999% of the times and maybe 0.001% of the time

Sign of failed parenting and lack of understanding. There are other ways to gain the respect and attention of your kid that isn't destructive

No, agree with some other anti-spanking comments. To sort of steal a similar thought from Isaac Asimov’s Foundation trilogy, it’s a sign you’ve failed.

I have no children, but grew up in a house that did spank. I too would spank 🤷🏼‍♂️ it was quite effective to/on me.

I can only speak for myself whenI was a child, and my experience with my own children.

It was effective and appropriate for me in the rare instances when it was implemented by my Mother. It was effective but inappropriate when implemented by my Father, who tended to do it in anger, which damaged my relatuonship with him until I was much older.

In my own household it has been effective and I believe appropriate when implemented. That has been rare and is now non-existent since my children are older. It was only ever used for willful defiance of previously established rules. I also have a fantastic relationship with my kids who are now in their teens.

The household is absolutely not a democracy or any kind of imagined ideal anarchy, particuarly when children are young. They must have strong authority at those ages for their own safety. As they get older, parents must use wisdom with each particular child to allow them more and more authority over themselves as they are ready for it. The parents' job is to raise children who are capable of being sovereign adults. Spanking is certainly not the only way, or even the primary way, to accomplish that, but it is a tool that can be applied properly, effectively, and sparingly.

Children are in the highest state of plasticity. Their brain gets as much information about everything. This means if they are raised will being spanked, they will adapt to this as they age. I think spanking will just cause the child to develop anger issues and make them more introverted. The child will avoid everything if he/she expect to get spanked after error. There are much more effective ways (obviously) to learn things to a child than spanking, you can disciplined him/her and give a treat after. This will create drive in the child to accomplish more things (instead of avoiding things).

Idk how a grown ass dude could consider hitting a 40/50# 6 y/o ok. Doesn’t matter if it’s “effective” or “how it’s always been done” it’s just fucking wrong

Honestly, some of these comments are just wild. This is a group of people on THE decentralized social network, that are most likely anti-statist or at least libertarian (small l) and are presumably “fuck you, don’t tell me what to do types”. But then they’re like, “yeah sometimes I have to beat my kids to get them to do what I want them to do”…WTF 🤣

I beat my kids randomly just to remind them who's in charge.

But seriously, the few times I've spanked my kids I've regretted it.

It depends on whether the child is a psychopath or not.

Great question.

I always thought it strange that it was against the law for someone to slap their boss in the face when he or she was being a dick, or noncomplying with their commands, but it was perfectly legal to hit their weak and defenseless kids. The boss can physically and legally defend themselves, but the kid cannot.

Research suggests it's ineffective at creating compliance and negative for the quality of relationship between the spanker and the spankee.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3768154/

I think it's unnecessary & introduces violence as an acceptable way to solve problems. My son went through a short phase of hitting my wife & I think it was initiated by a few smacks that I dished out to him. I regret taking that path.

I think what's more important when setting boundaries, is that you persist with them. Your voice is far more useful in this. Your children crave stability as well as your approval & attention but you cannot withhold something that you've not already given them.

It's important to remember that kids learn by observing. Lashing out with anger & violence when things don't go your way shows them that this is how you deal with the undesirable.

I think it's sad that our elders aren't as involved with child rearing any more. You're biologically geared to have children young but mentally unprepared to impart wisdom (I wasn't anyway).

Proverbs 22:15

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

I think God is right.

No and no

I hit my kids all the time

With the cardboard tube from wrapping paper. It's not about inflicting pain. It gets their attention with a unique popping sound, and physical touch. Plus, you learn very quickly that you *can't* hit hard at all or you'll break the cardboard sword.

Your job is to teach and guide them. Ask what this teaches them.

yes , to a certain age (we stopped spanking around 5 yo) and NEVER out of anger. use it sparingly.

Yeah, ever since the no spank movement has started, it seems like it’s really taken off for kids as they are killing it in determining their own boundaries and listening to their parents trying to reason with them.

I always love the dad who drives a mini van, shops at target, and likely tucks in the swimsuit he got there. Maybe that’s why in their reasoning assault they talk in that high pitched “I teach kindergarten or work at a daycare” voice.

Spank your kids, use reason. If you’re a clown and don’t know what’s appropriate then just keep sending your kids to school and hope they can raise them.

Appropriateness is subordinate to effectiveness.

I’ve never had to do it with my kids but can see that it would probably have been effective with one and ineffective with the other.

All humans need productive discipline and boundaries. Spanking accordingly is 100% mandatory in parenting.

If anything it made me more rebellious. Also there is a distinction between respect and fear.

I think it always resulted of my parents being overwhelmed and helpless. Losing ones temper is not something to look up to and will not gain you respect.

🧡

If I think back to my school days, there were teachers that were respected and there were some that were feared. The ones who were respected did not have to work with great punishments.

🧡

My goal is to set boundaries, be someone to look up to and to hold on to.

No, it is retarded.

it doesn't work, the only time it can be appropriate is incidental to the amount of energy required to halt ongoing bad behaviour, but then if problems are that bad there tends to be either health or psychological issues involved

restriction of movement is more effective overall, especially when good behaviour gets rewarded after learning delayed gratification

being a coach to our children is what works the best... sometimes you need to sit them down and explain, concisely, why there is a problem but mostly the best results come from encouragement, assignments and targets, gamifying the process

Spanking children is illegal in civilized countries

I got paddled in school in Mississippi. I preferred it over dentition or suspension. I been out of school nearly 20 years and they are still doing it.

Yes, spanking is effective and appropriate at times for young children. A little pain reinforces better behavior. But, spanking is only effective for young children. When they get to a certain age, and reason kicks in, incentives and disincentives are more effective, e.g. "Oh, I thought you wanted to get some ice cream tonight, but if you keep doing X, we may have to delay that to another day when you're not doing X." Anyway, it seems to have helped with my four kids, who are now all grown. I'm very proud of what they've been able to accomplish.

Worked for me! Was never excessive. I don’t even remember it hurting ever. Think it was just the concept of punishment. Which is something everyone should understand and young kids (and some adults) maybe can’t reason about yet.

Never. It is the sign of a piss-poor parent. Battery is never okay and those who think it is when you do it against those who can't defend themselves should not be parents. I'll die on this hill.

Those promoting spanking, just be honest with yourself. Everything you say are just ex-post facto justifications for an uncomfortable reality: you either want to hit children, or you are too cowardly to adequetely address what happened to you. Spanking is unnecessary and destructive, and a tool that serves only the momentary needs of the parents.

I was spanked once, and introspecting about it, all it did was cause me to lose respect for my father. I obeyed afterwards but from that point I saw my dad as emotionally weak and patetic.

Never, ignore the child when required and/or explain things and whys. And explain why sometimes "no" is the only answer.

No