Accept your current patterns. Don't set hard rules. Focus on building slightly but sustainable better patterns and habits.

Realize that you are blessed in many ways and spend the awkward time every morning counting a few blessings that you normally take for granted. Things like I have 2 legs that work, I don't have cancer or any of 10 other debilitating conditions. I have high intelligence and awareness. These are are blessings that not everyone has.

Also throughout the day focus on awareness of negative thoughts that trigger your addictive behaviors. SLOWLY try to build a habit of reconditioning those thoughts by building a practice of identifying them and pairing/replacing them with a more constructive thought.

Finally, expect yourself to fail and fall often. Plan a mental strategy that is constructive ahead of time for when this happens.

I feel ya. This could be my note some days. The past can be hard to deal with in the present. Stay strong. 🫂

Try a 3-5 day water fast for starters

🫂 many of us are working to become better versions of ourselves, I'm sure.

I personally have fallen off the horse many times, but I forgive myself and I'm finding it easier to get back in the saddle.

I have no experience with drug addictions, so these suggestions can apply to other addictive behavior but not sure about hard drugs. Some folks use them successfully for alcohol but I haven't coached that.

Rather than think that you have to heal past trauma (which is likely an overwhelming thought and tends to make us spin in more unwanted behavior), you can make a plan relative to the behaviors and allow the feelings that come up when the plan and your cravings collide. Simple in theory, challenging but effective in practice.

An example with addictive/emotional eating: make a detailed explicit plan for tomorrow's food. Generally best not to make it super austere, just something you'd like to stick to tomorrow.

Tomorrow rolls around, and let's say that all is well - you've followed your plan to a T - until it's 8pm and you desperately want the snacks that you usually have around that time. Your brain is used to the dopamine hit, your body is used to the sugar, and everything in you is screaming that you MUST have the snacks.

That feeling of desperation is just a sensation in your body. If you sit still for a moment you can start to identify it: tightness in the chest, a feeling like someone is pushing closed the entire upper part of your back, rocks in your stomach... something like that.

Here's the good news: the feeling rarely lasts more than 90 seconds and it's usually around 60 seconds. Your brain will tell you that it's an emergency, that the feeling will surely kill you, but you can learn to just sit and allow the urge to move through you. Don't analyze it (not "this is because XXX"), don't fight it, don't argue with it, don't mock yourself for having it, don't try to distract yourself from it. Just allow it.

Over time - as you practice allowing those urges without acting on them - they start to lose power. You basically re-train your brain so that it stops interpreting the denial of the urge as an existential threat. People who practice this find that they can allow intense feelings even while going about their day, but in the beginning it helps to stop everything and just sit gently with yourself as you let the wave move through you.

If allowing the urge seems unbearable, get curious about the feelings: the sensation of rocks in your stomach - what color are the rocks? what shape? are they round or jagged? And so on. It keeps you in an observer state without resistance.

I've seen this work for porn, eating, destructive relationship habits. I know that it can work for alcohol but haven't seen it directly. The benefits go beyond the dissolution of the habit; you start to develop a kinder relationship with yourself based partly on respect and gratitude for keeping your word to yourself (by sticking to the plan).

The 24 hours in advance is important because you need enough distance from the urges to be thinking clearly about what's in your best interest.

🫂

We all struggle in our own ways from time to time. We can get through it via our support systems. I'm sure it feels great to get this off your chest and see random acts of encouragement. I would urge you to take the next steps and open up to others either in person or over Nostr from your true self, so that you can begin the next phase of the healing and recovery process, on the road to better mental health. This is a fantastic first step. You've got this. 🫂

Will be praying, it ain't easy, but you can do it.

None of us are getting out of here alive regardless of what we do or don't do. Be kind to yourself and others and everything else will fall into place. Lastly, we all need to find a way to enjoy what little time we have on planet earth.

Hey bro. Been there and worse.

Praying kind of works, but meditation is what you need.

That and going out, talking to strangers, and being in touch with nature, under the sun.

Do these things, and you will be way way better, trust me.

🫂❤️

🫂

🫂🫂🫂

I appreciate the humanity of this post. Although I cannot comprehend the issues you have in particular, I do know that you are not alone. Everybody has some sort of struggle in their lives that they need to overcome. Talking about them is the first step of many. Just know that you are not alone and overcoming challenges is a slow process and it is not a race to the finish line. Good luck fren.

Hello anon! It seems like you are having a hard time, and your personal struggles look real to me. I am not sure what words could be said to help you on your journey in life, but getting through each day and making minor adjustments toward better is a great start. It will not be easy, it will suck and make you feel bad, but you have the power to overcome all of these and think yourself later for taking the steps in the right direction. This is a first huge step, recognizing what your shortcomings are. The next step is to start chipping away at them. Force yourself to do what you inherently know is good for you. Don’t set goals that are far off in the future and effort. Small steps each day, don’t set final goal, just one day at a time! I know you’ll be able to do it, you’ve already got this far! 🐶🐾🫂🫂🫂

Wait wait! Is this Loki? We missed you! Love love the insights. If you’re not Loki, we are still excited to have you back 🫂

Everything is going to be okay friend 💜

sounds trite, but it's true

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

First of all 🫂🫂🫂🫂

I really think you should talk to your partner. It’s not fair for you to have to hide your struggles and it is not fair that that other person doesn’t know you’re struggling internally.

I know nothing, but that’s a strong gut feeling I have.

You’re not alone 🫂🫂🫂

Hey, Nostr…

This is an #introductions post, but it’s not my first npub.

I’ve become quite close with many of you over the course of 2023. I consider a number of you to be real friends.

But I haven’t found the courage to open up some of the personal struggles I’m facing. Partly out of shame, partly out of the fear of validating my failings by putting them in writing.

But what I do know is the love and support and kindness that exists among this crew, and I’m feeling like I could really stand to lean on that energy a bit right now. I’m hopeful that, even through this anon account, there’s room for friendship, freely given.

I’ve struggled with a range of compulsive/risky/addictive behaviors for a long time, but it’s gotten harder lately. It’s the devil I’ve danced with since my teenage years, and it’s been especially difficult lately to align my active behavior with my heart, intuition, and personal goals.

I believe I “trained” my neural pathways to lean on various dopamine/reward pathways in times of stress during my adolescent development - or, to be honest, from a much younger age - and these mental habits have become deeply ingrained.

It’s not one specific “addiction” the way that people often struggle with, but my tendency to fall into patterns of substance abuse and other ego-inflating activities goes through cycles, which I’m just beginning to understand come from very deep, old parts of myself, and it feels like things have been escalating farther outside of a level of baseline acceptability lately.

I can point to various moments of trauma or conditioning that led me to try to self-soothe in these ways, and I’ve developed compassion for the parts of myself that are “trying to help” even in self-destructive ways.

But I’ve had a harder time with everything lately than I have in a long time. I don’t feel able to share this with my partner, but I am recognizing that it may be too much to handle on my own. Because I’ve tried for years. Self-imposed rules aren’t enough, because they don’t heal the broken parts. And I’m afraid that I’m risking the things I hold most dear, including my loved ones and my own self-worth and self-respect, if I don’t find a way through this.

I know some of you have faced things like addiction, trauma, loss, and personal failures. And I’ve seen the beautiful people that you are. I know and recognize that beauty in myself too, but I’m continually undermining my own happiness and fulfillment. I’m learning to pray again, to turn inward and connect with myself. But I’m also deeply stuck enough that I keep ending up in those patterns that hurt my heart and betray my soul.

I don’t even know if anyone will see this. If the default relays on this client have wide reach. If my VPN is effective or if I’ll dox my identity here.

But man… I sure could use a few kind words, advice, or encouragement from others who have been in a similar place before. If you’ve read this far, I already deeply appreciate you. You’re probably one of the friends I’ve made this last year 🫂