saying my brother cos, and i know this is weird, but calibrating a little against some weird magical native thing

like ohhh she is too indigenous to know how cool a car can be

furthermore, im pretty sure im privileged in all the desires and appetites i simply didnt come to the planet with

i dont know how to add those up

but a lot of things that seem to matter to a lot of people, like 'yo i worked twenty years to get this exact model of this exact car', i dont know what that is

i dont know what it is to wait six months for a meal that blew you away that will stay with you forever that means the world

my mouth isnt like that. it isnt connected to my heart center like that. maybe that is a more of a taurus moon thing. my brother has spent hours on a train for a single specific slice of pizza before. i just dont have hooks like that.

so yea, i can actually

go on that walk

im pretty damn sure my privilege is supposed to be spent this way cos i think it should be and it's mine to spend

as in: so many pressures, so many reasons to be risk avoidant, so much rational to not go on a walk with a homeless man at dawn and let him buy you a cup of coffee so he could talk more and weep and have a hug (1.11.2015, i was looking at my halloween outfit from then yesterday, i slept in it)

i dont have those

all of the trauma i ~dont~ carry, all of the obligations i ~dont~ have

as in, and so: i dont need to come across as sane because im fucked if perceived otherwise and maybe i will lose visitation with my kids, i dont need a carefully curated brand because i am not relying on that to have healthcare, i dont need to watch who i associate with because that could damage my reputation institutionally and im in debt still paying back my masters degree

there is no history of mental illness in my family

i never have to worry about having nowhere to go

i've had exceptional schooling that started in preschool

my parents were never alcoholics or on drugs, they didnt divorce, i was never kidnapped by an uncle, i didnt have to deal with lateral violence, i wasnt at oka, being on my rez during the powwow is being a tourist that's disneyland rez experience, i didnt have childhood cancer, i dont have a learning disability

i got one more riff on this

re: pisces mars (pisces rules the feet, symbolizing intuition, flow, and spiritual connection. in mars can see fancy! feet! footwork!)

what is it like to be a year of the fire tiger with a pisces mars and to some extent, an aries north node?

ability to provide cover

as in: relative to me, my background, my reservation, my relatives eating fresh roadkill in jersey (which is fine), simply saying

to me, relative to me: i was born into an extraordinarily safe situation with immense like orders-of-magnitude-immense levels of privilege

and naturally have i been spending that in every way i can conceive to imagine

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as such, find a lot of pisces mars in the nursing professions

if they work with prison populations in something like art therapy, they really have to watch it on burn out, overtaxed, too heartbroken, too invested

they have a natural inclination for very lost causes in a never-tell-me-the-odds way

go to an animal shelter to pick a dog or cat? see the total charity case? that dog only has weeks left? this wasnt the plan? i cant leave them there? how did i come home with this terminal case?

check transits .. likely if this is a shock to you and outside of your usual behavior, some planet is transiting your pisces house

tend to be good bodyworkers

good massage therapists

cos a lot of empathy, very gentle

as in, easily imaginally access what a shoulder knot on someone else feels like from their fingers to their own shoulder, and so, dont touch how they wouldnt want to be touched

another expression, or rather, further elaborating, tend to be water babies

like to swim, dance, naturally very fluid

aerial dancers, white water kayaking, sailing races, surfers

where fluidity and intuition and leaning in and out matters

pisces mars? that's me

that's also aaron maté

to give voice to the voiceless, to fight for the marginalized, to protect and aid those imprisoned

is a very pisces mars thing

many do become activists, journalists, activist artists

people often take that to mean: what is free is worthless. what is unconditional is worthless. they didnt leave cos couldnt. cos dont know what a boundary is. or have poor insight.

yes pisces moons are prone to letting abusive dynamic endure. to them? if you ask: for deeper principle. or belief of some kind. possibly a delusional belief, often not, and some delusional beliefs make the difference between life and death for others, anyway.

i'll tell you what, out of the people who left me? fucked off? did them? got scared?

i didnt lose a single pisces moon in my life

pisces

everyone has pisces in their chart somewhere

saturn, neptune, and the north node are currently transiting pisces

but what does it tend to mean? by archetype? having a pisces moon? a pisces mars?

this is the realm of martyrs, of unconditional love and sacrifice, of the margins, prisons, institutions

what does it mean in practical terms?

like stark light assessment?

catch a pisces moon who fell in love with an inmate? trope.

catch a pisces moon in love with a drug addict in and out of the courts? trope.

catch a pisces moon letting a hobosexual crash with them for years? trope.

besides the fact that caring is the right thing to do

besides that fear, while natural, is a bullshit excuse, too

can also, both personally and collectively astro riff and will

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only OneFan will be left by the time im thru 😌

absolute horror show

that's a promise

never sleep again shit

no less than what some devs deserve

this means, practically speaking:

i do have to be on the lookout for prosthetic teeth and fangs and skin safe glue

definitely 1. bloody 2. vagina dentata at bare minimum

maybe doing like a monster tongue version of a hymenal tag thing

that i at least have to wait until im calm enough to really architect a stuff of absolute nightmares shot

hmmm well

everyone post 21/12/2012 is at least bi

the heteros were raptured

so makes sense re: demo

i mean, likely that's ice

is what i would say

like oh, must be frozen out there

not a hater, just a realist but casually, not as a paying job

should invent a natural number to embody this honestly

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fucks given: less than one, but never none

masochistic tendencies: not at zero

didnt think i could care any less

i mean, we've posted period blood out here

i guess i havent posted pussy tho