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HODL 9mo ago

Looking back on some family turmoil it feels silly that anyone ever tried to control me or that I was mad at them for doing so.

Waste of energy.

If you know what I’m talking about and you’re going through a similar thing my advice is to just disengage.

You don’t have to fight or try and change anyone’s mind.

You don’t even have to feel resentment.

Just do your own thing, without anyone else’s input.

March to the beat of your own drum.

Don’t hurt anyone, don’t make it dramatic. Don’t scream and gnash teeth. Just disengage entirely.

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Discussion

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STIMMY #40HPW🎧 9mo ago

BOUNDARY DISRESPECTORS IN DISBELIEF

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Tawiskaro 9mo ago

You can just make your own decisions.

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SuiGenerisJohn 9mo ago

If you’ll allow it, sometimes your family are actually mentally disabled and once you realize that and just treat them like mentally disabled people it gets a lot easier. Imagine staying mad at a hamster? It’s near impossible.

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Jay 9mo ago

There are some adults that I've realized that I need to treat like the children of other people, but they are their own parent as well.

You kinda just set your boundaries and hope their parents actually come in and impose some discipline, knowing full well they won't.

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SuiGenerisJohn 9mo ago

And sometimes those adults are

Your parents and their parents are dead.

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twentyone 9mo ago

Cutting toxicity out of your life regardless of the type of relationship will only improve the quality of your life

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Contra 9mo ago

Well said. Letting go of the need to control or be controlled is freeing. Resentment only drains you, and trying to change others is usually a losing battle. The best thing you can do is walk your own path in peace.

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Bare Sounds Project 9mo ago

Non action is action

9e
twofish 9mo ago

In clown world, I'm now at the detachment phase as said best by Keanu Reeves: "I'm at that stage in life where I stay out of discussions. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun."

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Bohemia 9mo ago

Granted, it is family. I put them in time-out, maybe 6 months, maybe one year, maybe more. Then, I give them a tiny smidge of my attention to see if they learned any lessons about how to treat me. Boundaries are healthy but cutting people off with no chance of redemption is just meeting toxicity with toxicity. It is continuing the cycle of dysfunctional behavior. I do not judge people solely by their mistakes, because I would hate to be treated that way.

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Al’s Lacrosse 9mo ago

The unspoken “I don’t require you to see it my way. It shall be.” is powerful.

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YetAnotherAnon 9mo ago

Said it once, I'll say it again:

Based Hodl is the best Hodl

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Z0M8I3D 3D 9mo ago

The disengagement only made the petty family turmoil worse.

Not everything works the same for everyone. Glad you found a solution for your troubles. I will try to breath deep and move on like usual thou.

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DeathOnTheStairs 9mo ago

Sage advice