If you don't think spankings are warranted you will either A. have shit heads that grow up entitled to everything or B. You don't have children.
Children must be physically disciplined. They don't respond to logic. They're children. They're highly illogical.
Monkey see, monkey do.
Hitting kids only teaches them that to get what you want you have to be bigger & stronger & "in charge."
I have friends who hit their kids & they seem to just mentally block out the fact that when their son gets frustrated he walks around the room & hits everyone. They always act surprised. I have seen people literally hitting their kids saying " We. Dont. Hit." In time with the smacks.
It's so fucking obvious. And it has been clearly shown to lower IQ & reduce self control.
You are demonstrating that when you can't outsmart your kid you will resort to violence rather than distractions or instruction or anything else. So they will also resort to violence rather than learn to think.
If your logic worked then we should just hit old people when they get back to a stage when they don't understand either.
well said
Spanking isn't hitting. It's discipline.
Would you "discipline" a retard or an elderly person who has lost their mind the same way? You imply that it's the only or the best way to communicate & make them understand because that are irrational...?
Would you train a bear or an elephant or a chimp by "spanking" it?
Hit carries a connotation of abuse. You should never abuse any children, much less your own. You dispense physical discipline because you love your children, not because you don't like them. It's very hard to do.
Tell yourself whatever you want... But it's exactly what I described. The frustrated kid walks around & tries to slap everyone on the legs. You aren't teaching internal self regulation or discipline. You are teaching either violence or mindless obedience, & both are great sources of evil in the world.
I have twins. They’ve never been hit or spanked. They’re 6 years old. Both boys. 1 hits and slaps when he doesn’t get his way. The other never hits or results to violence.
Same home, both never spanked or hit.
It’s not so simple.
Kids will do all sorts of things when they are unhappy, it's not like they won't figure out how to use their arms, but it certainly helps if you aren't modeling aggressive behavior.
My kids don't hit other kids. Think whatever you want. You have kids?
If you don't want them to hit people & you want them to deal with problems rationally & intelligently, you should model that behavior. Hitting them isn't making them better people, it's only repeating the cycle that made you someone who hits kids.
And sure, you can resort to the "you can't understand" argument like I haven't been a kid, like I haven't seen my friends & family have kids, like I haven't seen the results of their different appraoches, like I haven't studied the subject to prepare for kids, & like I just can't fathom how exhausting the whole process can be. But it's just an effort to escape having to actually deal with the issue.
Parents who regularly resort to similarly authoritarian trump cards "It's not your house" "Because I said so" "You're too young to understand" are teaching their kids to make arguments from authority rather than to actually have well thought out reasons for what they do.
Children can't deal with things rationally and intelligently. Do you have kids?
Neither can you apparently. You hit & make arguments from authority. Might have something to do with how you were raised.
When you must resort to personal attacks, you've conceded the argument. I had a pretty good childhood. My children will have an even better one.
Lol, pointing out exactly what you have said is not a personal attack.
You said I can't deal with things rationally and intelligently and I have for this entire conversation.
Except for the logical fallacies...? "There isn't enough time" (everything is an emergency, right?) & telling me I can't understand because I don't have kids.
Not logical fallacies, but alright.
You are implying a position of unquestionable authority by way of having kids. It's not a valid argument.
I do have unquestionable authority over my children. If you don't think you do, then you aren't raising children. You're neglecting the responsibility of parenting.
I'm not your child, dumbass
Name calling heh? You have conceded the argument and lost imo. So I'm donr with the conversation and will no longer reply. Feel free to tell me how terribly I'm raising children when you have a 3 year old. Then you can get back to me.
No you misinterpreted the comment in order to avoid the point which makes you a dumbass.
This has less than nothing to do with the point being discussed. You are responding to a point that literally doesn’t exist in this conversation.
You are, obviously, using the idea that someone cannot have anything of value to add unless they don’t have kids (scratch that) which then changed to multiple kids later.
This is the exact same claim that a doctor cannot know how to cure cancer unless they have it.
he’s probably going out to hit his kids right now lol
generational trauma is a bitch
I have no reason to think he doesn’t love his kids completely or that he would hit them arbitrarily. To the contrary his heated takes here suggest he does care very much about thinking he is doing what is necessary to make them better.
That said I laughed at the comment 😆
I disagree in spirit though, lol
Children don't have well thought out reasons for what they do. The arrogance to tell people how they should raise their children with no experience of your own is astounding.
It's was a pretty easy guess that you don't have any. If you did, you wouldn't be so arrogant about how other people should raise theirs.
Focus on making your own before passing down your opinion on the matter.
"Set Your House In Perfect Order Before You Criticize The World"
I used to believe that until i actually spend time around someone who had the strength of will and patience to only discipline with natural consequence. I have to say though, sometimes a quick spanking would have been more merciful than some of the stuff that kid had to go through. But as a consequence, they had saved up money to get their own place right out of high school, and had a thriving business by 22.
I tried to talk them into teaching on parenting because they were so good at it. But it’s not for the weak, and takes incredible discipline. Spanking is the easier road.
One kid or multiple? All the difference. With multiple there isn't time to let it play out. The behavior needs to be rectified in a timely manner.
Govt level cope. Everything is an emergency we don't have time to respect your rights.
My children don't have rights. They're my children until they become independent on their own. I will indoctrinate them with my values.
You seem to be misinterpreting my point. You are justifying physical aggression with "there isn't enough time."
Discipline is not aggression.
Hitting (no matter what you want to call it) is not discipline. Discipline is internal self regulation. You aren't teaching that, you are demonstrating your lack of it.
Being disciplined, and dispensing it, are two different things. I am disciplined but I'm human, so I'm not perfect. Teaching your children that their are consequences to their inappropriate behavior is in fact, instilling discipline in my children. What's so hard about understanding touching a hot stove will burn your hand? Listen to your parents instruction or you get spanked. Same thing bud. I don't spank them for being outgoing, doing things for themselves, questioning things, etc. I spank them when they don't listen to me or their mother and when they're willfully defiant. They're free to question me when they move out on their own.
It's the stupid path that produces dumber kids with brains that shut off in certain situations.
i see many children not growing up as entitled and not getting physically disciplined, my experience.
Why do we not hit the mentally handicapped when they do something wrong? And how could it possibly be that they are able to get around sensibly from day to day in the absence of this critical element required to teach them due to their illogical behavior?
Children aren't the mentality handicapped a d the government is not the parent of the citizen.
Neither of these things counter the point even a little bit. You literally said it was because they don’t understand logic. Where did I say it had anything to do with *who* was doing the enforcement?
So without dodging again, can you explain the logic that says this doesn’t apply to mentally handicapped people, but does apply to children?
Not understanding logic does not equate to not understanding consequences of actions. The mentally handicapped and elderly may not. After a certain age, you are beyond physical discipline because you can understand and hold a conversation for more than 2 minutes.
How do you discipline your 3 year old?
3 year olds do nothing wrong, and if they do, it is learned behavior. Reflect on how they learned it.
Tell me again how you discipline yours.
3 year don't know right from wrong. That's your job as a parent to teach them when they do wrong. My guess is you don't have any kids. Am I right?
I have kids, and I am speaking from experience.
I doubt the validity of your claim. If you're being honest surely you must realize it's extraordinarily abnormal to have a 2-3 yr old that doesn't throw a fit about something. Nearly impossible really.
It's a people thing (kids are people), I can't communicate it over this medium. Keep your mind open to it, and you may even know someone with a similar experience who would concur with me.
discipline takes many forms/do my best
Of course it does. But the idea that hitting is a crucial and irreplaceable form of it and that the only alternative is to do nothing and let your kids run wild and become incoherent lunatics is just an absurd position and i think even those implying it in this conversation are perfectly aware of that.
That is completely untrue, and is probably an indicator of lack of listening and understanding of what the kid is communicating of which most is non-verbal. The need to hit a kid is 100% a failing of the adult.
How do you discipline your 3 year old?
There is no "listening" to a screaming tantrum and wilful disobedience.
All other attempts at communication have failed, the child is frustrated out of his wits. They are constantly communicating something, mostly love. 3 year olds do not need discipline. Kids I raised never had a screaming tantrum, they got their point across without it.
