People are really bullish on having kids here.
Anyone with fertility issues have experience with adoption?
It’s something I’m interested in hearing more about and potentially considering for the future .
Discussion
How about fostering, I hear they pay you.
Maybe? I don’t really need the money that badly, but I hear some people start that way and then adopt
Fostering is easier, because not many people want to do it. There's parents, stuff might change (usually doesn't.) In my country there's also like a year of bureau and then few more waiting, if you want white kid and especially girl. We thought of adoption or fostering, but it's advised for the own kids to be older than the newcomer..and we're pretty busy with them now.
I’m not really picky about gender or color 😂
You’re like a professional level mom. I could only deal with one at a time
My sister fostered for a while and it was an unmitigated disaster for her. But that’s because she did so for the money and not to help out kids in need (she’s not the best human in the world). Also in her case she isn’t a disciplinarian of any sort so these kids (who came from really shitty lives in Wisconsin where sis lived at the time) just ran right over the top of her.
Ahh yeah I’ve seen that too working in pediatrics with developmental disorders. What’s heartbreaking is that kiddos with issues are a bigger paycheck for a lot of these “parents” trying to profit so they will foster like 5 kids with disabilities at once. Obviously not all are like that, but it was really hard to watch.
They do. But I’ve also seen people who fostered children for years & were denied adoption. Sometimes the bio parents come back & reclaim their children. It can be utterly heartbreaking for everyone.
This is something one must prepare for. They give the classes on this but it still hits emotionally when it happens. 🫂
Yeah and I’m like the most emotional and clingy person of all time so we will see what the future holds 🔮
I’m not sure what your situation is but infertility has recently been successfully resolved with low carb / carnivore diets. Something worth looking into if it’s an issue.
I’m also interested in adopting down the road as a way to help someone out. But know nothing about the process yet.
Yeah there’s a lot of diet components. It’s not necessarily my situation because basically my uterus is deformed and evil. Endometriosis is more so a genetic disease than an acquired one, but diet changes can help with the severity and the hormonal imbalances, which I’m meeting with specialists about in a week or so.🫂
My mom had endo and gave up on having kids. Then she got really sick 🤒 and turns out that was me 😆 she was preggo. And they didn’t do anything really back then, she had decided she would just live her life, work, and golf. Then I came along and ruined everything. 😉
My 17-yo niece was adopted. It was excruciating for her mom to go through because the first adoption (twins) fell through. But then my niece came along and they were meant to be 💖 worth it!
I know it’s technically possible, it’s just a very low possibility and most people exhaust and depress themselves trying to hope for a miracle. You never know🤷♀️😂
The less stress the better. Haven’t had bio kids yet. Funny thing about being a woman—you always end up raising someone’s kids. 🤷♀️
I helped raise one that’s now an adult and like a daughter to me. I was a kid raising a kid…
When it’s meant to be…I tell ya, they show up on your doorstep like cats 🤣
100%. Some of us even have to do a little mothering of our adult husbands 😂😂😂
Oh Lawd! That’s another conversation. 😆 I only mother the kiddos, not the men.
Well…are you a Sponser? Sometimes that can be motherly too 😂
I haven’t sponsored in a long time. I worked in the addiction field, so I had to stop because it was like 24/7 care taking and that was not healthy.
Thinking about doing it again. These newbies coming in with NO home training these days 😮
Yeah when you’re working on it, using it yourself, and sponsoring…it can be a little too much of a good thing 😂
I even had to stop going to church because it was the recovery church and I was working detox… I didn’t want to hang with my newly sober clients at church too 🤷♀️ Wichita was and still
Is a killer recovery town though.
I have have two different friends that went through this process. Took some time but they both found the perfect match! Once the up front stuff is figured out, it’s like, here’s a baby, see ya ✌️ Not much different than the other way 😂
Haha yeah and I would selfishly want a baby so I could really be mommy, but I’m open to toddlers/kids
One of the couples who adopted, while going through all the trials and such did the IVF stuff. They recently found a surrogate, who is actually a good friend of theirs. Now they’re expecting twins in a few months. It’s wild to watch the journey, but also incredible that medicine has come so far.
Ugh the pressure and cost of all those treatments to end up going with a surrogate is stressful though. That’s why I think I would rather just go straight to adoption and spare myself the letdowns
Along with following a carnivore diet and fasting, I’ve come across Dr. Mindy Pelz book called Fast like a Girl which is about fasting and eating scheduled with your hormonal cycle. It has helped women balance their hormones leading to successful pregnancies. Ashwagandha is said to boost fertility as well. I’m not sure if this would help at all either but correactology has helped a couple people I know get pregnant after years of trying.
I’m not familiar with the adoption process but I wish you all the best in regards to becoming a mom and having a family!! There’s nothing more rewarding than raising and positively impacting a child.
Here’s to the next generation of little bitcoiners!!
100% have a lot of learning and changes to make, but i don’t view infertility as a bad thing. It just is what it is and I kind of like the idea of adoption anyways
It’s looking like I am going to have to go down this rabbit hole as well. My employer offers a partial reimbursement for adoption fees and I believe there is a tax credit. I’m assuming it’s expensive to adopt but am considering it maybe in 5 years or so…
Slight tangent: In the back of my head I’ve been thinking of a nostr app that would enable children who are adopted or conceived through sperm donation to connect with their siblings or half-siblings. So they could share information in a way that also allows pseudonymity, if they wish it.
Dude that would be so beautiful!
It will happen, I know it. Only question is how long it will take!
If I had to guess, I would say: however long you think it will take x 5
It’s one of many apps that motivates me to work on web of trust.
Another application for WoT: to give us reasonably accurate information about what’s happening in the world, in a way that routes around single points of failure, routes around entities that lie to us all the time on behalf of the military industrial complex: big tech companies, news organizations, etc. Lies that seem crafted to lead us into WW3.
So basically, it’s a race between #WoT and WW3. That’s how I see it.
Oh totally. Something has to change soon or it’s gonna get way worse. The world news one seems tough, but totally worth it
Kids for the win. I started a yeast ago at 42. Should have started earlier. The worldly wisdom of live for yourself is bogus.
No idea what the situation is but I’ve known of a bunch of people who had extremely difficult times getting pregnant who cut seed oils, excessive grains and carbs (basically going keto/carnivore), cut all artificial ingredients, removed the most toxic cleaners from their homes, stopped getting vaccinated, and did essentially all of the lowest hanging fruit for cleaning up what gets into their body, and their fertility flipped in a matter of a few months. Literally from being told they likely won’t have kids, to pregnant.
Again I have no idea what your situation is, but just in case you didn’t know or hadn’t heard of this before. It something I would try if it applies to your situation.
Aside from that have nothing meaningful to add on adoption.
Yeah I may have to go down that route whether I can conceive or not. My uterus grows inside out so the only thing that kind of works (at least for the pain and the growths on/around other organs) is surgery and hormone therapy for now. We just wanted to stop the internal bleeding ASAP so I could get some relief. Then I have to adjust lifestyle so it doesn’t come back. I’m meeting with a specialist next week, but I’m gonna ask to be referred to a licensed dietician
That’s wild never even heard of such a thing. So sorry to hear that!
I would advise being careful with dieticians. Nutritional science is a bit of a shit show. Granted we found keto/carnivore through a nutrition based doctor so not saying it’s necessarily a bad thing, but multiple doctors sent my wife down a horrifically stupid path (that worsened all the problems) before we found a good one that literally changed everything we had thought about it.
Hopefully this gets you back right though and cleaning up what gets into your body helps keep it that way. If you are ever curious about what we did on that front I’m always happy to share. Hope to hear good news about it in the not-too-distant future. Good luck! 🙏🏻🫡
The problem is that my diet for the last 10 years is 100% plant-based, which I know is a controversial thing to say here. If I do need to introduce animal protein, it’s gonna take a while to ease into it and I’m gonna have to do a lot of research into local/humane farms near me. I’ve been working alongside dietician’s for years. The trick is to go for a newer one/fresh out of school (in my opinion) because data regarding diets is like the fastest changing information ever.
I’m really interested in starting with free-range eggs and then slowly adding fish and see where that goes.
When we started into it we had no clue what was even edible and went with simple. Literally eggs and bacon in the morning, then steak and eggs. Definitely getting from local farmers is the best if you have good options. Simply knowing where your food comes from makes a difference.
I get the going humane thing, corporate farms that have been grossly subsidized are awful. And it’s not even merely in how the animals are treated. Unhealthy, pumped full of antibiotic, locked in a metal box, fattened with corn and grain cows are literally bad quality meat on top of being inhumane (still better than most other foods, but bad compared to well raised meat).
The healthiest meat is simply from the animals that had the healthiest lives. And you can’t know what you are getting unless you see it yourself. All the “ratings” and “certified blah” regulatory stamps are all pretty much worse than horseshit, unfortunately.
You are right that nutrition is running at a million miles an hour though. It’s been crazy seeing stuff we learned about 12-15 years ago that was crazy fringe now slowly becoming common knowledge.
I would definitely start with eggs. Both delicious and a good, simple way to get animal proteins in your diet. I’d bet you won’t regret it. My wife is big on fish too, but I’m more of a steak guy myself.
Yeah even though I am actually an advocate for carnivorism (if the meat is humanely sourced), it’s just been so long and the idea of chewing it is still super freaky to me so I’m going really really slow. I think eggs are gonna be the easiest start for me at least and then see how I feel from there. No matter what, my diet will be whole-food/non processed except for special occasions (I’m still eating cake on my bday and what not 😂)
In my experience eggs and goat cheese are the way to take the stress (and vit B12 supplements) out of a pure plant based diet.
I know of plant based eaters who eat a little meat occasionally to get a boost of different "dirt". I can't do that. Years ago I was chomping through a delicious big ole fillet and something clicked in my head and I was literally repulsed by what had been my favourite food for 59 bloody years. Minds are mad!
I'd suggest non supermarket eggs. Whatever the box says in those places,, even bio, who really knows whats going down. I've only eaten home-raised eggs, so I know what my birds have eaten.
The only marginal health issue that I have come across in reading is, if you eat a lot of them and you eat animal fat, eggs maybe mess with cholesterol. But I've looked far and wide for evidence not to eat 3 or 4 eggs over a day, every day, it just isn't there.
I know I have a bias about eggs, but fill your boots.
And local goat or sheep cheese. It's a cruder dairy product, but it's dynamite food.
Wife and I have 2 boys.
We’d cherish for an opportunity to adopt a girl one day. Circumstances aren’t favorable at the moment.
If a person’s heart is big and in the right place, they absolutely can love an adopted child as if it’s their own blood.
I 💯 believe this.
Thinking how an adopted child feels just melts my heart.
Especially if I don’t even know what it’s like to conceive naturally. Like, I will have nothing to compare it to. That’s what motherhood would look like for me
Sorry to hear that but don’t rob yourself, your partner, the adopted child of something that could be great
It’s something we just started talking about. I also just recently got diagnosed with endometriosis and another uterine condition, so it kind of motivated me to start thinking about it
not me, but a couple that I know. they were going to do IVF but ended up not because of reasons that I won't share.
they are in the process of becoming foster parents and keeping the option of adoption open. the process is pretty long with all the classes and home interviews so it's not like you sign up on a roster and they assign you a kid the next day. I joke with them saying they had more training in parenting than I did before I had my kid.
the goal of fostering is ultimately reunification with their family, but in cases where that isn't possible, the kid can be adopted by the foster parents.
raising children and becoming parents takes a lot of forms. fostering or adopting is one of them and it is neither less nor more than having your own children biologically.
That is true that the process is gonna be daunting, but I think I would rather do that than to go through all the funds, heartache, and side effects of IVF.
We have time to go through all the classes and paperwork and what not and I agree, I think I would love that child as my own no matter what 💖
How about IVF?
That’s the thing I want to avoid the most. My hat is off to all the women that were able to go through all of that for such a small possibility, I’m not sure I’m IVF material. It’s so much to physically tolerate
💯 does not look fun
I’ve done it and it’s a long and arduous journey 💜
You’re such a strong woman. I already know I’m not at your level 😂
You’re stronger than you know 🫡💜🫂
As someone who was adopted I would say that, depending on the circumstances of giving up a child, there are real and tangible effects on that child’s life and personality, it can be traumatic. I think ultimately biological connection matters and can’t just be cut off like it didn’t happen. Children need to know what they come, adopted children often feel a sense of not belonging and being lost. I think they need to have the opportunity to explore that at the right time and also be aware of its significance. That comes with potential issues in the family dynamics. That’s just my experience though, it wasn’t handled well and I think often it isn’t but things may have changed with the advice you get.
Yeah I hear that a lot. I am not adopted and came from a dysfunctional family where regardless of whether or not we were related, I felt alone. People who come from those situations either repeat it or do their damndest to end it there. I like to think I’m the latter. Plus with adoption, I’m pro connection with bio family, if that’s what the child wants 🫂 thank you for sharing