🫂

same🫂

Sounds very familiar, the Great Friends and Family Reset is real and happening everywhere.

Same thoughts. Fortunate to have some pretty insightful old friends, but lot of them are pretty dull company.

Have to make what you can out of it though. Cannot do speaking of the latest game, but weather is fine. Non demanding discussions can be treated as rest. Hard to take a lot of that though.

Yes, I share much the same feeling.

I resonate a lot with your story. Not having "like minded individuals" for friends has been a common struggle in my life.

I have empathy for those that don't see past the facade. The school system, centralized media, and societal norms are strategically organized to produce cogs in the machine.

They likely envy those who pursue independent ventures and earn freedom from it, but lack the knowledge or drive to pursue it themselves. Sports (on tv), drinking, weed, video games, clubs, are often escapes from this frustration, not actual preferences. Not that these things can't be enjoyed sometimes.

So I consider the free thinking mindset a blessing in a world that tries to eliminate it.

We also live in the best timeline to be a free thinker, because the internet connects you to the others who share your niche interests. And with Nostr, they can't take this away from us.

As for "dropping baggage", I don't think it needs an explicit "break up conversation". I just give my energy to people who I feel like giving it to, and don't do things I don't want to do. Besides some family obligations of course. Some people stick around, some don't, and that's okay.

That's just how I handle it, not saying its correct or whatever. Good time to be alive though!

I’m definitely the “conspiracy nut” among my old friends, most of whom have fallen away at this point.

bittersweet symphony

Ghosted almost all of mine 6 years ago.

Same. However, I dont have any 'replacements' which would render me lonely...

At the end of the day, the only person you need to be comfortable with is yourself.

This summarizes some recent thoughts of my own well.

I attended both the bitcoin2024 and the last few sessions of the Thank God for Bitcoin conferences last week in Nashville. It's been obvious to me for some time that there's a large overlap between Christian maximalism and bitcoin maximalism; why?

Perhaps at least in part because authentic followers of Jesus' teaching are of necessity some of the lowest time-preference people in the world.🤔🧐😁

There are of course posers in both camps, but when you find "good ones"---plebs serious about both Jesus and sound money--those are definitely keepers.🙏🏻🫂💖😄

I'll be glad to be your friend. My friends except for 1 don't add any value at all..

I recently moved back to where I grew up. I do love my friends, but i'm not the same person I was 20+ years ago. So we will be moving soon. I just don't have as much in common.

On the other hand, I have a strong connection to those I served with whether they are moving forward or still in the past, at we point we were all saving each others ass, and I will never forget.

And the real hard thing is I quit drinking like 14 years ago and boy does that weird people out...lol

very well stated 💪

Cut and don't fret about it. I feel you... Who as the time and patience for all those he said she said bullshit?

I've had a similar outcome as mandrik, but with a somewhat different context. It's something I still think about a lot.

When I was an engineer/manager, I worked in person, and had a great social group there. After I left it, I became inherently remote-work based in my home office, which has a lot of advantages but also some social isolation-related challenges.

I then gradually drifted away from work-friends I knew for a decade. Between work and family, we just gradually could barely find time for a group lunch anymore. Actually it was more on their side than mine; they have longer commutes, children, etc.

And my US family is small and dispersed around the country. So aside from my husband, a lot of my social interaction is online and at events within the past few post-covid years. The big exception is the part of the year I spend in Egypt, where I am surrounded by in-person family and friends every day, but have less overall productivity (bad internet for starters, problematic time zone, plus it's also vacation time and social time).

And the most notable part of each year is when I come back to the US first to take care of things here, and my husband is still in Egypt for another month to finish taking care of things there, where I risk turning into a solo cat lady.

So that makes me really focus on genuine internet dynamics, treating people online similarly to how I treat them in real life, building real connections there, going to events to meet my "tribe" despite the travel hassle, etc.

It also has prioritized having children to me recently. I've been focusing on work, focusing on elder care, etc. Due to my starting point, I have been in the position of having to support a parent and then in-laws since my 20s, while also being a workaholic to reach the positions I've gotten to. For years I was simply too busy for anything else, but increasingly the next generation is an element of life I think about a lot.

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the further you get from the matrix the harder it is to intact with people trapped in it.

I wanted all my old friends to study bitcoin and join Nostr. They didn’t, so I made new ones.

Don't ghost them, you're their connection out of the matrix

You live different than them, they need to be able too see it

We need more men to acknowledge this truth and to commit to “not bottling it all up anymore”. Thanks for being a great example - especially for your daughters. They will have high standards for men

I'm going through this right now. 25 year friendship. And ended a 20 year one last year.

Everyone wants you to do well...just not as well as them.

I’ll always love my core group of friends I’ve had over the last 15+ years… but I can totally relate.

About a year ago, I moved from a city with an amazing Bitcoin community to a smaller town, to be closer to family. It’s been a great decision overall, but I really miss seeing my Bitcoin friends in person.

Youvare not alone. I think it's part of the Rabbit Hole journey.

Mevisit your core values and seek company and interactions that are meaningful.

If you have not read it yet. "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" by R Pirsig is a good read for this.

This is well said IMO & something I have personally felt in the previous 3-5 years. Think about it somewhat often, so many personal relationships that the friend has unfortunately become wrapped in the endless rat race and can no longer afford to reclaim their time.

Makes me quite sad at times tbh. 😔

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I have found that friends have backed away since I started embracing bitcoin. Even certain corners of the family. Some would say that family is more important than money, but when they're still in love with the fiat system even after finding out about bitcoin, I don't know how to help them.

I feel totally different. Although my internet friends stimulate me with discussions that I can not have with my friends outside this space, I find myself really comfortable whith my irl friends.

I was in Spain recently and I live in the US. My friends in Spain, with which I grew up, are the most interesting and opened people. We can talk and not pretend, some of them have studies, some don’t, and our conversations can go from the most mundane happenings to the most stimulating ones. Which is actually relaxing for my overthinking brain.

I have to say though, that after 7 years in the US, I found that many IRL friendships never go further than the facade. Which make it difficult to relax into it and to dig deeper into more interesting discussions outside of work and materialistic topics.

I’d say that is the society, the social network that is broken irl. However, my best US friends?I met them online. Here the facade is gone…

Interesting cultural differences.

This has been happening to me too, I'm more likely to attend a #Bitcoin meetup than having a beer with old friends

Actually, I can't even remember when was the last time I had beer with old friends (definitely more than a year) but 1 - 2 meetups every month for sure

Friends become acquaintances. Acquaintances become friends.

Again and again.

A pattern to embrace.

I just read through all these comments and if they don’t give you hope for the future and love for this community, nothing will.

Stay real and true to yourself. It’s not the quantity of friends but the quality. Judging by these comments, there’s no shortage of love.

This may be the real reason we Bitcoin.

Sometimes you just have to let people go. I agree it sucks to say “I dropped people out of my social life who weren’t providing value…”

A gentler perspective I once heard was, “I invited these people out of my lives, and they didn’t put up any resistance.”

Practice unfriending. It's a great lifehack one can learn to earn a new life. It certainly feels selfish to say, and do, so. But you only have limited time in life. Live it the way you value the most. Cheers.

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#siamstr

Pfoeh, you’re describing many dynamics I’m experiencing and feeling. I see this more from bitcoiners although I’ve had a hard time making new friends among bitcoiners. I know they’re there but most times I go to meetups and conferences its majority ngu audience as far as I can tell. My approach is undoubtedly to blame but besides upping the input I don’t know exactly how my approach is wrong 😓

Your friend group will naturally shrink as you age as you become wiser and value your time appropriately. Cherish the close friends you have and if you make new ones along the way its a bonus.

Same, I moved to a new city. My old friends all, sadly, feel very mind controlled. I’ve always been quite open hearted, open minded and honest speaking. Now that I changed politically, economically, spiritually, they no longer wish to hear anything I say. At first, I censored myself. Then I started feeling fake or as if I had an invisible mussel on. Decided to try to find new friends instead. Haven’t ghosted my old friends totally, I will be there if/when they open up…

I feel the same and have reached the conclusion that this is the price to pay for opening our eyes before others.

It allows us to weather a crisis in a way that positions us in the exclusive club of those who thrive instead of just survive.

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

F. Nietzsche

Even though I feel you, and I’ve been the same type of person as the one you describe, cool with all but “in” with none, there is still some value to those old “fiat” friendships.

These are the people that anchor you back to the real world. They are small reminders of how much work there is still to do.

That said, some of those friends need to go. Just keep the best or most entertaining to fulfill that anchoring function and you good.

correct. it's a one-way trip

> “I've always been that guy people hang out with, but never a part of the "inner circle" or whatever.”

Dude. Number of times last week I was like “gotta go talk to mandrik … but maybe I’m not cool enough.”

Cause also, I’m friendly with most people, but never been “inner circle”. Also, I can be insensitive to “social norms” and have been ostracized for no better reason than being “too friendly”.

People are weird … how complicated we make being social, when ALL of us really only want good friends.

💜

Wow...I've been going through something similar recently. Over the past four years, I've mentally diverged from some people I've known for over a decade. The willful ignorance, status-chasing, and dog-eat-dog nihilism of Fiatnam have become unbearably grating to me (not all normies are like this, but I see where it comes from). I don't need anyone like that in my life

When it feels right to drop dead weight, it's time. What's cool is that there's no need for a big showdown or confrontation like in the movies. They aren't worth the energy

Man, thanks for opening up this topic...

I've been in a mental battle, thinking about my friends a lot. I'm feeling strange around them. They've been my friends for the last 9-10 years, but right now, something feels missing.

In my group, I'm the only one who runs a business; all my friends do 9-5 jobs. I can easily resonate with their corporate life issues, but they don't resonate with mine. Most of the time, my conversations go in opposite directions.

They love to watch movies and reality shows, while I'm a man of books and academia.

I'm also confused. Whenever they ask me to hang out, I feel like I'm dragging myself to be with them.

But it's not all negative. They are kind and generous every single time. Anytime I ask for help, they show up physically and financially.

The only thing lacking is shared interests or quality talks (that's what I crave).

I'm also happy for the #bitcoin and #nostr community. I feel we are on the same page mentally.

---

Work on that mastermind. They'll self-select out. No need to be active about it. If you're not growing you're dieing. Growing will move you to better places/people and leave them behind. Don't think too much about it. Focus on you.

I hear you and agree with you. I’ve ghosted a lot of friends lately. Not sure how far out you’re going but the beginning of the book The Four Agreements feels very red pill. Everything you believe wasn’t your choice but was a download of the society you’re brought up in. Also Cleburn Walker has some great insights. He says he talks to more and more people that are waking up. Waking up can feel pretty jarring when you suddenly see all the people sleep walking around you.

Many of us here feel the exact same way

Totally.

#Bitcoin changes _us._

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Important to stuff to share. 🙏

Covid showed me which "friends" would wave bye-bye as they push you onto the gulag express.

I can't unsee it.

What more do you need than a wife as a best friend, plus some close confidants?

Wasn’t how I expected it things to turn out, in the same boat, but getting used to the new-normal fast

Keep asking great questions! 🙏🏻

Exactly! It’s funny how a conversation can go to truth and reality (red pill), and in split second their faces turn blank and they don’t want to talk about “that” anymore. They thought they took the red pill…

I’ve gone through this process and it’s better on the other side. It’s ok to let relationships that aren’t serving you drift away.