Tbhā¦ woman being empowered to have their own careers actually enables men with different qualities to be desirable. I think this will take some time to fully be reflected in societal expectationsā¦ but men donāt have to have their core value be defined by so significantly based on how much they earn. That is something that both partners are able to offer each other in moderation. I think this transition is confusing on both sides - men are trying to be attractive using an out of date playbook and women are having to also deal with the struggles of the gap between what they actually want vs what society says they should want.
When talking about partnerships, 100%. I canāt speak to those looking for physical connection only. But women are learning new skills to be competitive in the workplace and are interested in partners who are able to be equals and who are also striving to improve and grow. Continuing to do all the tasks that are typically āfemale codedā, while also bringing in incomes equal to or greater than their partners, is a recipe for resentment. From what I know from my experience as a woman, those that Iām close to, and the content Iāve read - equality during the second shift is HIGHLY attractive and desired and largely missing. To me, this is a natural pain point of societal growth and no one expects people to instantly evolveā¦ but some acknowledgment and effort here can go a LONG way.
Iāll admit, Iām not familiar with the Three Six Men standard, so maybe Iāll have to educate myself on whatās being said š but I agree that the standards and expectations must evolve. I donāt think the answer is lowering them, but redefining them and listening to each other. Nowā¦ I want to preface that with the idea that Iām not sure matching is the end all be all goal for everyone. I donāt think marriage is virtuous for the sake of marriage, personally. And being single as a choice is perfectly valid, IMO. But of those wanting to be āmatchedā, I think itās important to be willing to understand that people are human and growth/change and grace is part of any human-human relationship. I also donāt think anyone is entitled to a match. And I think that sense entitlement is what breeds resentment and honestly just gets in the way of actual human connection.
I feel like, collectively, the male gender still struggles to know how to handle tasks around the home and kitchen (not to say there arenāt men who excel here). And whatās interesting is that being willing to carry their own weight in this area would actually go really far for making them more desirable as a partner. My experience is that theyāre resistant to this because it wasnāt modeled for them in their homes growing up.
Good luck to you!! I do not envy your day
When you had a day full of PM work slated and the clientās priorities shift and now itās a data analysis day š
Something that impacts āonlyā women (50% of population) impacts 100% of heterosexual relationships. The point is that heterosexual relationships are not the same. The goals and utility of them are different.
š¤ No. my point was that at least 50% of the populations rights are substantially different, and heterosexual relationships, which consist of 1/2 womenā¦ are naturally impacted by that. I never said ALL people married for survival in recent history. I said some people do - just a measley 50% of the human species.
šAll of this. I never was much for app dating, but I had friends that used it and I can see how the gamification of dating can be psychologically harmful. I do think itās hard to come to a point in our lives (no matter the technology) where we are able to look for value in people that isnāt highly skewed by what society tells us is valuable (appearances being one of the main ones). For me, the journey of unlearning that is as much for loving myself as it is for enabling me to love someone else successfully.
Bingo! Now women have that same choice.
I agree. I think marriage is turning into something that is actually because people want it, and not because itās a need or a requirement for survival. And that changes what an āideal mateā is, in biological terms. It wonāt look like it did when we were kids, because the rights and opportunities of people (women, LGBTQ, etc) donāt look like they did back then (nor 30 years before that). People actually have more freedom to choose (or not choose) marriage, or the relationships they want. Freedom for groups that historically didnāt have those choices is bound to change how people relate to each otherā¦ IMO the pros outweigh any cons or growing pains as we adjust to the new paradigm. I hope as a species we continue to evolve vs trying to hold onto the past where many humans were extremely limited in their opportunities.
Interesting perspective, but I think there is a lot of cultural context that can explain some of these trends that arenāt due to what youāre describing - not sure if correlation is causation here. Not to mention divorce rates are at a 50 year low and continue to go down. Statistics would imply marriages are happening less and when they do happen itās with a bit more forethought. Not to mention the role marriage plays in society has changed significantly now that women are actually more able to work and support themselves.
We would definitely be interested! Thank you!
For now, weāve just tried to reduce some of the friction by letting users buy time in advance (with increasing discounts) and it works more like a balance than a subscription. Not perfect. Would love better ways to do this!
Should be fixed on Singapore now, too!
#[2]ā is looking at issue with now with NIP-05 and the global load balancing. Some locations may not be seeing the verification, but that should be corrected shortly. We apologize for any confusion that created!
This is valid!
Just a reminder about the move to the subscription model: Adding time for you account is not necessary to continue to use and write to the wss://nostr.wine private relay, but it is required to maintain access to wss://filter.nostr.wine and its features.
I think this is really important feedback for us all to digest, for the success of nostr.
It doesnāt take away from the value of what has been made, but we need growth and adoption from other groups. Understanding if/how that value is translating and how we can improve is going to be important.
That moss š makes me want to lay under the tree canopy and take a nap
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