Do you know how to have relationships with others that are based on voluntary association?

Most of us were trained to have hierarchical relationships. We were trained to think in terms of dominance and control.

It takes time and effort to break out of that and not interpret an interaction with another as a a zero sum struggle for who is above and who is below.

That constant zero sum mindset is a very wasteful and stressful way to live.

Not only is it unhealthy it’s very inefficient. How many opportunities to collaborate, and connect, and learn do we miss when we are busy trying to posture?

Decisions are what we are. We are not our bodies, we are not our circumstances, we are the decisions we make.

Trying to restrain someone’s decision making is attempting to cage them. If you don’t respect someone’s decision making, you don’t respect them.

“Can’t you raise the pitch of your voice a bit when you talk to me? How am I supposed to concentrate on what you are saying when your voice is that low?”

“You should maybe shave your beard before coming to events like this. It’s distracting and it takes away from what you are saying.”

“Really? Do you have to wear that shirt all the time? It’s very tight around your biceps. I think you know exactly what you are doing and it’s very unprofessional.” ...

Things I have never said. Things I think all the @#%^% time, but things that I have never said, because I know that my attraction to others is my responsibility to manage.

My attempting to make my attraction someone else’s problem would be both immature and irresponsible. I’m an adult, what I feel is my responsibility to manage.

The red pill crew is the biggest threat to Western Civilization.

This is because they are attempting to redefine Western Civilization as patriarchy, as inherently masculine and authoritarian.

This is the narrative… men built western civilization, women did not. Western civilization was built at a time when women were not involved in public affairs, and that is why western civilization is so good, because it is inherently masculine.

The idea is that the more women become decision makers in the world the worse the world gets. There is an effort to tie “wokeness” to femininity. Being woke, and having empathy are seen as inherently feminine, and inherently weak, and the downfall of civilization.

You see this subtext in a lot of memes... Civilization is inherently male, decision making is inherently male, order and logic are inherently male, and when women have influence they bring civilization down.

“Masculinity is conquering.” There is the slow and steady increase in the tyrant or “strong man” worship. And increase in praising kings. Example, Trump referring to himself as king on social media and the “weak men create hard times” memes. (And here “men” is not being used to mean “human”, it means males specifically.)

And what is happening here is that Western Civilization is being reframed as inherently masculine, patriarchal, and authoritarian. If this reframing is successful it will be very understandable when large groups of people become more hostile to Western Civilization.

Well you know I don't find that healthy.

If one partner is not make decisions I think both people are complicit in restraining the development of that person.

If two people can't have a healthy relationship then they need to divorce. Providing an example of an unhealthy relationship for your children is worse than them splitting their time between two healthy households.

are you two not equal partners?

As someone who spent 4 years as a stay at home Mom, it really irks me when people imply that women get a financial gain from divorce. They don’t, they get their half of their money.

When I put my career on hold, and moved to the middle of no where, and risked my life to birth two children, and organized my life around caring for those children day and night without any real help, I was doing so under the understanding that me and my husband were partners.

Were me and my husband to have gotten a divorce during the time that I was a stay at home Mom, I would not have been taking his money, I would have been taking my money. Money that I earned. That's how partnership works. It's not his money or her money it's their money. If/when they part ways, they split their money.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/50-popular-movies-surprisingly-fail-140026724.html

Thinking again about the world starting to see women as main characters, have you heard of the Bechdel test?

The Bechdel test is a measure of representation of women in movies or books, and it’s very simple. For a movie/book to pass the test it needs to have two female characters who have a conversation with each other about anything besides a man.

A shocking amount of movies fail this simple test, even modern movies or movies about women! For example The Princess Bride, Avatar, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Star Wars! On and on.

Umm, what is this?

"Not only is the Universe stranger than we imagine, it's stranger than we can imagine."

I have for you.... the secret to happiness! But like kinda for realz!

It's covered in this video. The video is too long, you only need the first ~4 mins.

https://youtu.be/bDFsRqkT3cs

Women are also main characters in the world.

This is the source of our current society upheaval, the “male loneliness” crisis, the “growing divide between young men and women”, the increase in unmarried “cat ladies”, etc. Women are now insisting on being treated like the main characters that they are. They are insisting that their point of view, their desires, their goals are attended to in their relationships with others. They are done playing sidekick.

And this is the source of the red pill crew’s anger, they are holding on to women not being main characters. “I want a submissive woman” = “I want a woman that will make me the main character and who will sacrifice her goals for my own.”

What caused the subjugation of women in the first place was largely logistical. Pregnancy, violence, agricultural/urban/industrial logistics, etc. And with the state of the world now, these logistics have changed. Women aren’t going back to being secondary players in the world. We just have to adjust our understanding of women.

I’ve been reading a lot about the science of loneliness. Being lonely can have a bigger negative impact on your healthy than chain smoking 🚬

Reading all this makes me think about 2020. It was a shitty year, mostly because of the loneliness. The division was intense, I parted ways with friends, even my professional relationships became strained…. It was really rough. And at the same time I experienced a resurgence in my autoimmune issues and just a general increase in inflammation, eczema, gastritis, etc.

Sometimes I get answers to things in dreams. Maybe that’s “super natural”, maybe it’s my subconscious knowing things I don’t, but dreams are a tool that I make a lot of use of. So when I was dealing with these health issues I was trying to have a lucid dream to help me sort it out. One day I succeeded, I was having a lucid dream and I walked around and ask all the characters in my dream how to solve my health problems, but it was very frustrating. One character just looked at me and told me that I needed more love, then I went and talked to my cat and he sang me a song about being lonely. I woke up very annoyed, “that didn’t help at all”. But now, looking back on it, I think that dream was exactly right.

I'm a huge fan of boycotts. Go on and vote with your dollars!

So don't buy a Tesla... I certainly won't be buying one! But maybe let's not set things on fire. We should probably draw the moral line there.

Esta mañana estuve practicando hablar sobre Taproot Assets en español.

¡Sabré que puedo hablar español de verdad cuando pueda explicar la tecnología en español!

Good news: No one knows as much as you think they do.

Bad news: This also applies to you.

I would argue that legal patriarchy ended in the states in 1993 when marital rape became illegal in all states, but we still very much deal with a cultural patriarchy hangover. 2k years of history doesn’t fade away quickly.

What we are experiencing now, this cultural upheaval that we are going through is the actual end of patriarchy. Our collective unconscious is adjusting to accept that it’s not just that women shouldn’t be abused, but that women are ends all their own. We are accepting that women aren’t just helpers, but that the world should be built for and lead by women as well so that women can pursue their own direction in life.

That’s a big shift!!!

Empathy.

A big part of why we now have Trump is that the lefites went off the deepend and shot themselves in the foot. How did they do that? They lost their empathy.

Remember the whole ‘if you didn’t get a vaxx you should be left to die without medical care’… remember that? Or how about threatening anyone who asked questions with ridicule and ostracization? It really got pretty ugly for a min there!

The lefites lost their way, they lost their decency and humanity, and we got quite a lot of blow-back from that.

Losing humanity, losing empathy…. It’ll cost ya.

what would be a good example of anxiety that is not shame?

Currently pondering the relationship between shame and anxiety. ...sometimes I think they are the same thing.

Without knowing you personally I can't really say. It seems that this submission is more symbolic than anything else. I would worry that you find comfort in submission due to some old wound. Perhaps you are looking for the care you didn't get when you were younger, or something along those lines.

Sub/dom dynamics can be healing for people with trauma.

Autonomy is the foundation of mental health.

...this all gets real existential real quick. Here is my understanding of the universe - we are souls living very temporarily in human bodies. I am not a woman, I'm a soul currently inhabiting a female body. I don't pretend to understand the purpose of life, but a part of it is development and individuation. Having a sub/dom relationship holds people back from those goals. It keeps them in a childlike states, either never taking on responsibility or never learning to stop trying to control others.

I disagree, and I don't think it's healthy.

So weird to me to see so many people proudly posting photos with Trump or at the White House... they are proud of that. Some of them spent a small fortune to get that picture.

Meanwhile, a few years back I was in DC for a conference and went for a walk. This is the closest I've ever gotten to the White House and you can see how I feel about it. ...I would be embarrassed to be caught at the White House.

If you were to use the word "trust" I would agree with you.

Well thanks, but I don't support servitude.