Women are attracted to men they find intimidating.
Crazy women are attracted to men they find scary.
Discussion
It's the difference between "fearing God" because He is greater, and "fearing the Devil" because he will turn your existence into Hell.
Maybe it's true but many men might like crazy women who don't give a shit who you are and box them anyway, so I know stable women who are plentiful here;) this man-woman thing should be rethought because both parties need each other and everything else would be wrong because otherwise we wouldn't be in the world!
Crazy women tend to be easier to bed, and more willing to engage in perverse behaviors, which keeps them in high demand.
So this is why it seemed to make sense when some hot chick told me I should take it as a compliment that the crazy women I'm into find me scary.
I'm scared of Digit too. She might kill me someday. I've gotta get her to push through her fear enough to at least post on nostr if not meet me in person/kill me
You can roughly gauge how desireable a woman is (for long-term relationships, where looks aren't the only measure), by whom she finds intimidating.
The "higher" those men tend to be, and the more caring and protective they are toward her (only reciprocal, platonic interactions are significant), the "higher" she generally is. Women who find men generally scary are lower-wrung because it means they feel inconsequential and unprotected, and they are orienting against "lower", scarier men. That's why higher women are more overtly vulnerable, which leads to an air of regality and gracefulness.
The lady is gentle because she is confident because she is protected by intimidating men.
Of course, what constitutes "intimidating" is subjective, depending upon (sub)culture.
This is what promiscuous women don't understand. Men being nice to you, for a bit, because you've "put out", is not love.
It just makes you a cute, short-lived housepet, like a goldfish.
This one was too complex, I think.
This post made this click for me.
My wife always says she’s intimidated by me (in a good way) which is semi- confusing to me because I am very sweet and soft to her. So I’m like how am I being intimidating? And she always says “idk you just are.”
Yeah, there are only a handful of men on the planet who intimidate me, and I married one of them. Intimidation is the fearful side of admiration, or even awe, I suppose.
I'm in awe of some men. I'm not in awe of any women, even if they've done something I consider quite impressive and I appreciate them. Probably because they're too relatable, for me, and there's no corporeal maleness, to heighten the fear and excitement, and trigger my urge to act submissive. I guess intimidation/admiration for men is the counterpart to protectiveness/fondness, that men feel for some particular women. Women having the female form makes it easier to feel fond of them and dote on them, and sacrifice on their behalf, as they are inherently more vulnerable and lovely.
Yin yang, and all that jazz. There's a sexual tension underlying all of it, which is why some people claim that members of the opposite sex can't be friends. Which is a rather sad view on humanity, but understandable, in our perverse age.
Of course, I say all of this as someone thoroughly brainwashed by The Patriarchy, who has read too much classical literature, sagas, and fairy tales.
I think women fall in love with men they fear losing control to and men fall in love with women they don’t want to lose.
At the most primal level… She wants to feel claimed by a force stronger than her resistance and he wants to possess something too precious to risk letting go.
The wording is a little interesting there (not that I think you meant it in the worst way it could be interpreted...). There's a degree of "strong enough to make the sacrifices" I think. It's not just that he's strong enough to brutishly force his will, but that he's strong enough that despite there being sacrifices in "acquiring" her, he will not back down from them.
That's the difference between a protector and a pillager.
And of course, distilling this down to one thing men and women want feels a bit silly, because of course things like tenderness, clear communication, honesty, etc all play their role. Also, there is a degree to which this applies across the gap, as I believe we men mostly want a bit of devotion back. Having read enough Norse (particularly Icelandic) sagas rife with feminine strength and the ways in which it manifests differently, but still with enough fire to bring down the strongest man, it's worth remembering that no matter what your bits, your ideal partner is going to be someone who both has your back, and whose back you feel compelled to do anything to protect. Dedicate yourself to protecting a woman that amuses herself by putting you in harm's way and you may find that your Bitcoin becomes generational wealth a bit earlier than you'd have liked.
"It's not just that he's strong enough to brutishly force his will"
Yes, not only that.
But low-key also that. LOL
Men or women, there’s strength, there’s courage and then there’s sacrifice for the well being of others. I think those things are universal.
Perhaps both strong enough to do so and not enough of an shitstain to actually do it. Except when there's been the appropriate wink wink nudge nudge anyway.
And the crazier you are, the more it goes from "let's have a safe word" to "I'm going to slap you in the face until you snap just so I can see it happen."
Well, crazy gonna crazy.
I think it's just flattering to know he thinks you're *still* unbearably hot, cuz he occasionally gets a bit carried away and has to be sternly reminded to CALM DOWN.
Women complain about that stuff, but it's often humble-bragging about being pursued. I'm already at the age where some husbands become impotent or happily send themselves to sleep on the couch, so I am very aware of what a flex it is that he gets a bit overexcited around me.
I mean, I see the alternative and get to hear about how expensive divorces are, and etc.
That makes sense. It's a cruel twist of nature that the male sexual peak is decades before the female peak, and perhaps surprising that it hasn't resulted in more relationships between younger men and older women. I'd wonder if that boiled down to economics except that the trend has been opposite for millenia.
Guess we all like getting that which is harder to get.
Men generally prefer younger women and vice versa. 🤷♀️
Indeed. Though preferences do change with cultural norms, so it's hard to say whether that's a natural state of things or something that is culturally determined.
Worth remembering is that a few centuries ago the norm in western cultures was to seek out plump women. And sure, thickness is making a comeback in come circles, but let's not forget just how insanely thin people were urged to be and seek out in the 80s and 90s. It does seem though that youth has been sought for long enough though that it may be a bit more than a cultural norm. That said, some cultural trends have longer arcs than others. It'd be interesting if women somehow had the upper hand economically speaking if the tables turned, in time. I'd say men often like younger women in part because they're perceived as more of a blank slate, and women like older men due to a degree of maturity, and economic stability. Is masculinity the inherently proactive, or yang, force? Or is it seen as such merely because of how things have shaken out in a post hunter/gatherer society? And even if it's always been this way, if our technology brings about a foundational shift, will it continue this way into the future?
All legitimate questions; I don't have some major prediction of it changing. Just curious how deep our aesthetic preferences run.
I guess that explains some things
Good insight. Men should always strive to be so good that it's intimidating. That's being respectable.
Lesser men can't be respectable, so they can only be scary.
And of course women should be able to tell the difference, respect a good man, and stay away from the scary ones.
But you can flip that round. A good woman should be strong and graceful, and men should respect that. A weak woman will wield sex as a weapon, and men should know to stay away.
Yes, virtuous men are extremely intimidating because you can't easily shake them or bend them to your will. They seem like a force unto themselves, which is why even one of them can have such a massive impact.
Just as the most-virtuous woman is the quintessence of femininity, with -- as you point out -- her own inner strength. The virtues are the same, for both sexes, but they look different, depending upon the environment the person is in, including their own body.
One of the things that, I believe, defines female strength, is the humility of submitting to the limitations and possibilities of their own body, and to a man or men greater than themselves, including Christ. Since they overcome pride, through this.
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Don‘t know what to do with that.
nostr:npub1dtgg8yk3h23ldlm6jsy79tz723p4sun9mz62tqwxqe7c363szkzqm8up6m has pointed out that the word "meek" in the bible is translated from a word that is more like "has a sword but keeps it sheathed," suggesting that it's not about a lack of fortitude or ability to wield it, but rather, the wisdom and emotional stability to know when it is better not to.
Most women, like most people, admire strength. A lot of people are entranced by unhinged strength, and particularly crazy people like to fling themselves towards it.
There are a lot of ways women are different from men, but I don't think an admiration of strength in general is one of them. Though perhaps the way that expression of strength is varied is, as the strength to fight physically is different than the strength to bear or raise children (or manage a household). I would certainly not be interested in a helpless flower of a woman, and I suspect those men that would are perhaps covering for insecurity around how they perceive their own strength. Maybe they can talk to Dr. Freud (or Dr. Leary...).
It seems like the bible didn't get much right, but maybe it somehow predicted #swordstr 🤔
Yes, Jesus was the ultimate Meek Man, and he rampaged in the Temple not once, but twice. And then He knowingly and willingly carried His own cross to the top of a hill, to be nailed to it, even though His followers wanted to draw swords to protect Him. He didn't lose his nerve, ever. He stayed Stoic and simply did what He had to do, because it had to be done. He submitted to His own fate.
The entire story is written to emphasize His fearless, calm restraint, but also His willingness to use sudden, explosive, almost inexplicable violence, when necessary. And that He was shrewd and observant enough to know when the one is required, and the other.
Intimidating? Attracted? 🤔 I’d hope not, however, I guess some women are…?
Neither intimidating nor scary work for me, and I’d encourage other women to be careful w/ being attracted to characteristics as those. 🚩#run
However, maybe, I’m just misunderstanding your post…? Could be. ☺️
Perhaps you don't know any men who inspire your awe.
Well I married mine and there was zero intimidation involved. And the other men in my life (family and friends) that I’m also inspired by…yeah, no intimidation. 🤷🏻♀️
Respectfully, maybe I’m just misunderstanding or just can’t relate to the wording of your post and response, which is ok. Hey, we all have different desires, wants, or expectations in the type relationships we want.
It’s more about scaring all the lesser baddies away than being intimidating to you personally. It can also register as competence. I find vigilance and street smarts more attractive than pure physical strength, which is often a proxy for intimidating. I appreciate the early warning aspect because I tend to be oblivious and hyper focused on other things.
It's not necessarily physical, yes.
I'm nerdy enough to be in awe of some men's IT or math skillz, or to be cowed by someone with great philosophical or theological talent.
That's why I said that it's highly subjective.
That does make me feel personally intimidated, tho. More timid and smaller, somehow. And I get quieter and less brash, more inclined to look at the floor, more upset if they complain about something, much closer to water.
Those same men are always trying to get me to raise my head and encouraging me to speak up, tho, so... it's complicated. Intense. Passionate.
I'm assuming all deeply-satisfied women feel that, to some degree.
Yeah, that Protector.
My husband has never been violent towards me, in almost a quarter-century, but I've seen him take down another man so fast that my brain couldn't register what was happening, until it was all over, and that left an impression, ngl. Don't fuck wit him, fr.
He usually dotes on me and fusses over me, like a Mother Hen, so I was... surprised. Okay, he has two modes. Noted. 😅
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The classic. 😂
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me:
am i intimidating?
Wifey:
no, not to me.
me:
Modern women don't seem to like the word intimidating. They only know the definition "aggressive".
this is probably accurate.
my reply was meant to be lighthearted, but it i guess it highlights how differently things can be interpreted.
i think i understand the premise of your note. and although we approach the topic from two completely different perspectives—there is a fundamental truth we both share.
^.^
