Nostr Web Client

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

*Heavy sigh*

Guys, don't over-text at the beginning of things. Less communication allows mystery, excitement, and anticipation to build. Once a day is nice, but until you develop a rapport keep communication light and in person.

I was on the fence but willing to give this guy a second chance. But already yesterday afternoon I was feeling meh about him and started giving one word responses. Then I just stopped responding. Since then he's told me about having old spaghetti for dinner, telling his daughter all about me, waxed poetic about how he never leaves the house... And it's not stopping. He's sending me random updates every hour or two.

I feel really bad but I'm not running a charity here and I don't feel excited about this second date so I'm going to cancel.

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Discussion

Zaikaboy 3mo ago

Always always be up front and real. Especially in the beginning 😎

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

Agreed

Psilocyberbull 3mo ago

Let him no its too much! Maybe dudes just been lonely and not good at taking hints lmao

Psilocyberbull 3mo ago

Know. Woops lol

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

I let him know 🥰 there will be someone out there who has it in her to be that 100% social outlet for him but it ain't me

Tekkadan, ゲロゲロ! 🐸 3mo ago

How old was the spaghetti 🧐

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

I didn't ask because I didn't want to know 🤣😭

Tekkadan, ゲロゲロ! 🐸 3mo ago

This is how it would go in my world:

Bro: old spaghetti

Me: "oh what kind?"

Bro: spaghetti

Me: "nutrients? plants?"

Bro: ground beef

Me: "oh..." 👻

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

I thought about responding with "moms spaghetti" but I think he'd not get it 🤣

Kajoozie Maflingo 3mo ago

tekka asking the REAL questions

Corey San Diego 3mo ago

I'm sending this to my friend.

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

Texting to show interest is good. Constant texting feels like demanding interest which isn't great.

kyle-moore 3mo ago

this hole mental texting game that is played I will not participate in

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

It's why I prefer IRL communication. I don't want to be game-ifying communication. Let's try and get the sparks going first 😅

Corey San Diego 3mo ago

He does walls of text. Es mal.

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

So long as he's also receiving a wall of text it can be ok. But if they only respond with "good luck!" Then es mal es verdad 🤣

HannahMR 3mo ago

All me are not the same, all women are not the same.

I'm an over thinker... please text me all day lol

purrs_for_Her 3mo ago

it's definitely a vibe thing.

Wifey can be both depending on the day. a little emotional intelligence goes a long way in helping a gentleman determine what kind of energy he needs to bring.

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

I agree. It's why in person communication is better at the beginning. We can get a sense of what each other wants better that way ❤️

purrs_for_Her 3mo ago

yeah, Wifey and i did a lot of texting, and still do. but you can get the vibe from texts, imo.

and if you specifically mentioned that he not do that, it's a bad sign. a lack of impulse control, emotional maturity, or even general respect.

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

Yea 💯 that

I also check to see how they react to being wrong or me saying no in the first date, and he didn't pass the test. Which isn't in itself a deal breaker but along with other things not great.

purrs_for_Her 3mo ago

smart.

Wifey hit me with that no before we were even dating lol

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

She sounds like a keeper 🥰

purrs_for_Her 3mo ago

i'm a lucky kitty :3

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

I like texts a lot, but when it's still within the first week of meeting idk... If we text constantly what do we talk about? Especially if you're already reaching for conversation points by discussing leftovers etc 😅

HannahMR 3mo ago

lol, sounds like he's ready for marriage!

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

Yea, I think he wants to lock someone down so he doesn't have to socialize anymore. But I want to socialize a bit more still, not ready to get shut in on a farm yet, especially since he already did the marriage/kids thing so I wouldn't be getting any babies myself.

In person is the only way to get to know someone. Texting is for quick check-ins/thinking of you and confirming times.

Honestly the advent of texting/messaging destroyed dating and correct behavior IMO.

Don’t feel bad.

DagzTagz 3mo ago

This seems like a v respectable and small ask when you consider my ask is

Privately host a server, build out an entire anonymous chat network that I can review the code on, find me on it, and contact me that way

If you can complete all of those steps, you can message me 2,483,685x a day if you’d like

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falsefaucet 3mo ago

look most guys know what one word responses means, at least they should.

less is more, plus if you text non stop you have nothing to talk about when you/ if you get together for a date.

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

This here 💯

Bill Cypher 3mo ago

The difference between stalking and romance is the consent of the victim. The end of Say Anything is a call the cops moment if her answer is no as a perfect example.

If you were head over heels for someone you would never think "you again" when they messaged you.

This isn't a character flaw until it continues after you turn him down. Until then it is a mismatched interest level that you haven't communicated clearly.

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

Yea already on the first date I had explained that I prefer in person communication at the beginning. So that not being heard is not a great sign for me 😅

Bill Cypher 3mo ago

Information I didn't have.

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

I like a very slow pace of communication to start, because I don't want to worry about being love bombed. If they're fast at the start, I worry there's a reason why they want it so fast. If I fall head over heels quickly it's hard to pull out when the red flags start waving. Literally exactly what I said on the first date and he was like yes I really respect that!

Scurvydog 3mo ago

So, you don’t like spaghetti? 🤦‍♂️

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

If he had framed it as he made something delicious, that would be one thing. Spaghetti can be nice! But I prefer tagliatelle 💖

Scurvydog 3mo ago

With marinara or Alfredo? I’ll cook, you bring the wine.

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

Tonight I'll be making it with a white mushroom sauce 🥰

Scurvydog 3mo ago

I love mushrooms.

Kip Ashlynn 3mo ago

Mushrooms love you 🍄💖🍄