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love bombing is just one way of using compliments and friendly words to disarm people, it makes you feel "in love" other usages can simply stop you from recognising their hostile intent

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

In the past few days I think I've gone through a kind of psychological cycle. I was getting some validation from my spiritual musings, leading into religious stuff, but ended up reacting very negatively and harshly to someone for what I felt were domination tactics. You saw, no need for elaboration... Then, I think as a reaction, I started trying to remake how I interact with nostr. Basically tried to appreciate a more playful use of it. Doing so would fit with a longer term project I've had, which is to reduce my dependence on "left-brain" thinking, which means try to get more creative/intuitive. My problem there is that I still approach it in a logical/mechanistic way, but just fool myself into thinking its creatively expressive.

I've mentioned a few times on nostr my dislike of a particular religious group - the eastern orthodox. That's because, in light of this new love bombing information, they tried to love bomb me over YouTube. If they hadn't moved too quickly into the gaslighting phase, it might've worked. I guess my left brained approach to life saved me there... It certainly got a reaction from them.

I wonder... The EO cult may be a particularly bad offender, but they aren't the only ones... I think something like that is going on in all of the physical churches. So the emotional need that causes people to do that could be the reason Christianity has fallen so far from the original meaning. Its so bad, that most people who figure out the Bible end up quitting Christianity altogether. The problem is the people, not the beliefs. You tell anyone who thinks they're Christian what Jesus is actually saying, and they respond with intolerance. That may be because they are under a psychopath's control. What I described earlier as the forever narrowing of purity tests could actually be the gaslighting of "believers" to maintain control over them.

Anyways. Please do point out if I was doing any love bombing, or anything manipulative. There were a few things I said recently which I've been beating myself up over - showing too much neediness, basically.

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Discussion

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

you were clearly ready for someone to give you a few new tools to build your new model

that latent guilt about being one of them will fade with time

and yes, almost none of the churches are not controlled by psychopathic manipulators... it was already so bad 30 years ago that my mother abandoned gathering with them - she had a pretty strong instinct about it, and it was why she divorced my father, he was trying to use these techniques to maintain control of his leader role in the family instead of using his masculine power

idk if my father has woken up to it fully yet, but i know my mother she is a wise old witch, and i love her because of that, she is helping keep my sister's children from being turned into drones as well, i love my mother, she is the best, i always let her know when she appears again

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

btw, i'm pretty sure there is a connection between witch and wise, obviously related to "way", probably something related to the "ist" suffix, like "wist" is "to have known" in german, iirc

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

also this whole constellation of words is related to the latin "vis" to see

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

and now i look at that, and i go "oh, and this is the relation to fish too"

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

Fish? That's unexpected

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

visser is the word for fisherman in dutch and german, think about it

this whole complex of ambiguity over V, B, F and U in old european languages has led to an extraordinary constellation of links that are extremely clear once you start to notice them

learning portuguese has cracked the egg for me

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

I guess that's why every German I meet can speak 5 languages

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

yeah, the interconnection between european languages takes a lot of time to absorb but once you start to get it CLICK so many things become really obvious, and not just being able to comprehend the foreign script (and it's easiest to see in script) but the semantics

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

That's good, and under appreciated in society. A good relationship with your mother, I mean.

This religion thing combined with fiat clown world progression could go to some very very bad places. Everyone is going insane... A lot of them think turning to religion is a proper response to the insanity they can recognize, but don't realize the religion is just validating some very bad assumptions. Like, "men should be the bread winner" is an assumption that plays on men's emotional insecurities, and synergizes with the churchy message that the man leads the family. Nevermind the reasons and justifications - this creates monsters in a society where men have less and less success.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

i agree, to some extent, that it sets up ghosts for people to chase

but fundamentally, the man is supposed to be the one that gives imperative to the family, and anything that externalises that is contrary to it, like you say

gojiberra 1y ago

Interesting. Well, I would say there's a spectrum, as with anything.

I'm from the south and my close friend from California always pointed out to me how much he hated the fake politeness vibes of the south.

When I run into someone from New York or a big city, I'm always aware of how silly I must sound with formulaic stuff. But at the same time it's a lot of fun to have the difference in relating styles for people who are willing to be authentic and point them out.

Also, there is the thing about meeting new people that just puts me into overdrive about wanting to know everything about them and thinking they are the greatest thing ever that walked on the planet.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

this sweet talking you speak of is a form of begging

and yes, of course it relates to the kind that manipulators use

it's very interesting how the posture for these things gets bedded into a cultural meme... people in the balkans have this meme about how saying what you think makes you more blessed (slav) - to the point where they have a policy where you don't use kind words when you beg, you just say "give me" (dai me) and this is also related to old latin words as well, in portuguese "daime" literally means give me, exactly the same as balkans

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

Huh. Reminds me of a time someone in China very directly and impolitely begged - demanded, really - for some coins to ride the bus. I gave him the coins, mostly just off guard and happy I understood him, and that was that

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

yeah, you haven't been to balkans yet. they are extremely direct, it's almost the polar opposite to the eastern way

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

Chinese are very direct. Mainland, at least. An aside, but I'd love it if Taiwan would hurry up and officially declare their name to be Taiwan so I can skip all the "mainland" acrobatics...

China Chinese are generally about as happy being rude as a New Yorker, and even more direct. The rest of Asia is indirect and polite. That'll change if China ever fully integrates

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

i want people to say what they think to me, always, i'm not scary, watwat?

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

also, my experience is a little different, chinese people are precise, and subtle, like the serbian tongue is a halberd and they have a scalpel and hit the target equally

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

Yeah... I definitely don't like the feeling of being either manipulated or forgotten, which is what tends to happen socially in the polite Asian countries

gojiberra 1y ago

So Maybe "sweet talking" is not so good but there is a case to be made for "talking sweetly".

I also felt like a caveman compared to the Brazilian politeness.

However, I get it. Sometimes there is politeness in front of your face and there is backstabbing behind.

A lot of politeness is telegraphing intentions to strangers. Initial contacts with others have to result in exaggerated gestures until contact is established

Perhaps as they become friends there is more directness.

gojiberra 1y ago

Also I highly value truth speaking. Even when I don't like to hear it.

It's much more loving to speak the truth to people than "talking sweetly".

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

yes, there is times for speaking softly, with ominous confidence

and there is also times for saying "WTF BRO SERIOUSLY YOU FUCKING JUST SAID>>>>"

gojiberra 1y ago

Also, this love bombing thing reminds me of anytime I try to tell a friend BTC is a good investment.

I want to just stop but it's such a compulsion.

So BTC bombing is a serious thing and someday friends are just going to call an ambulance and have me taken away as I scream about "volatility", and "zoom out" and "you have to look at it on a log chart".

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

haha! no, most people don't even understand what cult manipulation and induction techniques are, they just say you are annoying if it doesn't gel with them

you aren't obviously love bombing them because you are obviously doing the opposite, causing a challenge, and this is causing them to be repulsed

but that's life, they have different programs, and if your rationales don't work for them, you can interrogate them more, and gently, and more kindly, and maybe you can find a way

but it's really hard to reason with people about time preference

most people barely even can reason about next year let alone 4 years ahead

bitcoin luvs come from 5-10 years of experience

nobody tried to persuade me, it was just the money i needed to be able to trade for fiats if i was going to sell drugs, and later, to buy drugs from strangers in this business, i had traction on crypto very early, just not the maximalism, that took years to develop

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

People get into ruts, being fairly comfortable with their life, even if they know it sucks. It would be easier to persuade them to spend a couple thousand to go vacation with you than to get them to buy btc. But if they do go adventuring, then I think they become orange pillable.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴏꜰ ᴍʟᴇᴋᴜ 1y ago

that's how i would approach it... adventures make people's brains more plastic, and give ample opportunities to make analogies in fireside tales

for the most part, "orange pilling" is just bashing your head against a brick wall... i've never been inclined to really try and i'm dealing with this pharmacist recently and she just doesn't grasp the value of it, even though her boss, and me both do

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

Make friends with her boss and then talk about it. Or bring in a bitcoiner from town. Social validation - probably works for orange pilling

gojiberra 1y ago

Maybe she will get a grasp on you and it's all ok :-D

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

I'm also from the South, but I'm weird... Introvert, would rather go to the dentist than meet new people. I usually have a New Yorker's directness and humor, though I hated NYC when I visited once

gojiberra 1y ago

I'm an introvert too (get energy from sitting alone with my thoughts) but I like to meet new people. It's risky but there's the reward of potentially having a good conversation.

I don't like hanging out in groups in general as I tend to stay silent when there's a group.

Also every person I have met who seems extraverted to me tell me that they are introverts so I can't say I know any introverts except the person I live with.

But that may be the weed causing extroversion.

Is there really such a thing as an extravert.

Comte de Sats Germain 1y ago

Probably not. The whole paradigm is probably like hitting a nail sideways. I see people who care a lot about their image/reputation, and people who don't care. The ones who care sacrifice themselves unendingly to be viewed as good/accepted/in/valuable - and it becomes self fulfilling. But its still a fantasy world

gojiberra 1y ago

Food for thought. Thank you