It's crazy to me how many people I meet in their early 30s don't want kids.

It usually comes off in 1 of 2 ways:

1) Defeatist: I'll never meet the right girl or I can't afford a house so how can I afford kids

2) Denialism: Maintaining my freedom is a much better life than being tied down with kids

Whether it be adherence to a moral code, a habit, a person, religion or career, I have personally found that living a life full of commitments brings the most joy so I don't understand people subscribed to #2

My biggest commitment is to myself and giving up is something I'll never do, so I also don't understand #1 though I know why this is pervasive.

To each their own, but on a societal scale, I think this sentiment will lead to a generation of lonely old people. That is both sad and incredibly scary.

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Agreed, everyone is shocked when I tell them my wife and I want 6 kids in total. Three more to go!

Nice, we are hoping for five, two more to go.

"Like arrows in the hand of a warrior

are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!"

It comes down to money.

I can’t afford it and hedonism is much more fun (and short sighted).

Also, we’ve been manipulated by jews that life is cheap (abortion), and that third worlders have more right to life than Whites because ā€œprivilege.ā€

Amen brother, same experience on my side. Enrages me. Game me a motive to go all-in on another sound asset, kids.

People with attitudes like that shouldn't be reproducing.

Meantime me and all of my extended averaging 8+ kids....

I hear, "I don't want to bring children into this world." Totally black pilled.

Not having kids and raising them right is a sure way to make sure the bad guys win.

This!

100%!

This is my selfish reason for wanting kids

My second is arriving in just over a month. Raising the first has been hardest thing I've ever done. But its been the most rewarding and source of growth for me and my wife by a long shot

That's amazing. Congratulations!

Thank you so much brother! <3

Ultimately, it's worse than a generation of lonely old people.

It's the destruction of an entire society.

ā€œTo each his ownā€ doesn’t apply in this case because this concerns an objective purpose of being a human object.

The truth is the smallest atomic unit is a family, so until your have one, you are nothing but part of an incomplete whole.

Having a family is what actualizes your human potential completely.

To each is own does apply here because I have no desire to argue with a bunch of nhialistic childless cope-ers on the Internet.

Otherwise, I agree with you

hah, yeah i’m with you it’s pointless arguing the point on the internet.

waste of time.

I understood ā€œto each his ownā€ as a epistemological framework or something.

Like 2+2 is objectively 4, and not ā€œto each his ownā€ as a matter of truth, but it’s silly arguing with people that are convinced it’s 5.

šŸ¤

Those who choose to exit the gene pool leaves a higher percent of family people to run shit

Yeah but they'll all be mean lonely cat people trying to control everyone in my lifetime

Only one generation of them. Lower the time preference

I only have 1 life. Yes it's better for my kids, kids, but how low can you lower a time preference

Big time agree! Although that generation is already here... Your middle age feminists living alone with a cat screaming at the sky because of the patriarchy, your MGTOW movement and soyboy simping men are a big percentage of the population already.

I work in tech. The amount of men I work with that don't even want to discuss dating, are single and have completely given up ever having a partner let a long a family is astonishing.

Its sad. Have lots of kids! Its probably the most important, highest virtue endeavour we can embark on currently.

Constraints drive innovation/growth.

I often think that humans, thanks to their intellect, managed to escape the grip of natural selection. But attitudes like this remind me that we didn’t really escape at all we just changed the battlefield. Natural selection no longer weeds out only the slow, the weak, or the physically unfit. Instead, it now works on a psychological level. Today, it punishes those who give up too easily, those who delude themselves, and those who are too selfish to think beyond their own comfort.

Well said

The system is putting a lot of effort into making sure that people don't have healthy relationships that last a lifetime. A lot of the D.E.I stuff, which on the surface looks like it means well, actually splits people even more apart. When all of your effort goes into being a victim or fighting with people who are only slightly different from yourself, you are not looking at the bigger picture about who could be designing our world to be as dystopic as it currently is...

"we don't need to fight the angry mom. We just need to convince the people with torches that their real enemy is the people with pitchforks"

Being tied down due to kids is a lie. Logistics become more complicated, but there is no being tied down.

šŸ’Æ

šŸ’Æ

This language really betrays how self-centered the person is. They *can't be bothered* to give their strength to the training up of children. They don't recognize the glory they are willfully giving up and see children purely as a liability rather than their greatest assets.

I'm tied down because of a cat 🤷

Did you ever think that maybe you're just wrong about the motives of others?

Of course. This is just my perspective and you're free to disagree.

I was stuck in camp 2.

BTC gave me perspective on things. Also seeing all other adults flipping to full retard over Covid made me more resilient in believing in my own abilities and view on things

My man šŸ’Ŗ

What about maths and not being able to afford kids no matter what you try? Pretty pointless having kids and struggling daily to put food on the table or being so deep in debt that you never enjoy the time together because you working to pay off debt.. I’ve just spent $30k on a IVF baby and I’m shitting myself how im gonna afford the kid when it arrives so im luckier but still.. it’s fucked when all you think about is how you gonna stay ahead of the money printer 24/7 365…

People who think they can't overme that are defeatist about themselves.

Life is hard.

Life always presents problems.

Build a life where you solve the problems you want to solve and don't have the ones you don't want to.

Being old and lonely isn't a problem I want to have

Imagine blaming women for problems that you as a man can just solve.

Not getting the girl you want?

That's on you.

Be better.

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Just posted this today, it starts off with the same question:

https://primal.net/e/nevent1qqs0w74rsry43kvxe7cnvhygytrnm0vqnmmql4zyxdfzppxvy66wvwqel4dew

For me it’s crazy to see the number of males I know who don’t want to have kids and openly mock the ones who start a family

I had some similar thoughts about this yesterday. I understand their reasoning. It’s just that it’s very bad reasoning.

https://primal.net/e/nevent1qqswhntn45cmqhghdvwqecl5syy2kr63qqf7u26d3k4y02rx4k6ud7q50h9at

Absolutely

No joke! Not having kids never entered my mind when I was in my twenties and '30s. In fact that's the one thing I've always been 100% sure of is that I wanted to be a mom... A good mom!

Same same but different for me

evolution is mad right, one generation and the people with an anti human mindset are gone

Sad but true

Fiat mindset is so deep in the society🤢

I see it a lot as well

Sad

But true

The worst is the ā€œI am not having babies because of climate changeā€, taking some moral high ground, without realising the lie.

Yeah that might be the worst

Get married, make babies, work the land

I’ve come to realize that life takes time. There’s no quick fix or instant improvement. It requires time and investment in yourself and your partner. You’re never truly ready to be a parent.

I understand trying to establish yourself and waiting to have children, but not having children at all is strange.

I understand how the system works; I’m living in it. Sometimes, you just have to do something you don’t want to do to earn a living. Skip the drama and you’ll have plenty of time.

Having children teaches you a lot about life and makes you appreciate it even more.

So No to DINKs

*say no to DINKs šŸ˜†

Agreed, except I think there's no point of getting married unless you're ready to have kids.

That said, if you're ready to get married, you're probably ready to have kids too.

I’ve made a lot of big decisions in my life, and having kids was easily the best choice I’ve ever made. Not even close.

What a breath of fresh air this crowd is. I’ve spent too many years hearing anti-human bullshit from normie leftists.

It has stemmed from the cost of living in a fiat based centralised world, kids bad for the planet, cost of housing, cost of education through to university etc.....fiat is a big trap

The fiat matrix has caused such a delay in the ability to build wealth that most young people can’t afford to have children until it’s almost too late. You you have children before building a foundation for them, or try to wait until you can give them everything you want to be able to give them?

It's all natural selection then, the weak die out.

We live in a world with fake values 😐

Its hard to live with dignitiy and love oneself. When the that is created and there is more space to just be .... people will go back to making more babies.

i'm 46 and have never had an interest in children. I think i'll be just fine.

Hope so! Genuinely

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As someone who was once in the no kids camp in my early 20s and came full circle, I've put A LOT of thought into this topic. It’s by no means a complete perspective but my stream of consciousness rambling of how I view the journey from not wanting kids to being stoked about becoming a parent:

Step 1: Change your perspective

I'd go as far as to say bitcoin actually doesn't "fix" this issue as a whole. However, bitcoin is the starting point. All of us here on NOSTR already understand this so I won't get into details. The orange pill changed my perspective from nihilistic to optimistic about the future. This solves the economics of a family but this is just the foundation of the journey. You feel like you have the means and capital to support a family.

Step 2: Grow up and deal with your shit

This is the most important part and where most people get stuck. The underlying issue outside of money is the delaying of mental and emotional maturity in our society. Most "adults" in their 20s/30s who historically were the ones having multiple kids have been developmentally and emotionally stunted. 30 somethings with no kids are effectively like 16 years olds emotionally. There are rare exceptions who've consciously thought about this but I would argue most have not.

I was one of these mentally/emotionally immature people. It's easy to get caught in the trap of chasing the high velocity fiat lifestyle. My only focus was on myself and optimizing for my own hedonism. Drinking and hanging out with other unhealthy people enabled that lifestyle. Social circles become a feedback loop for better or worse. That keeps you trapped if you're not careful. Social media amplifies this 100x.

Bitcoin aided in my maturity process but there were other factors that have to be addressed. In most cases, it's unresolved issues from childhood. One cannot become an adult without accepting and coming to terms with childhood trauma (yes I know "trauma" is a loaded word but it's real and we all have some form of it. Read Paul Conti's book for more info).

The drawback of this work is that it comes at the expense of the ego. This is too hard for most people. They simply don't want to look in that mirror. The fear is too overpowering for the walls their ego has built up to protect the fragile sense of self. Fortunately for those people, we have constructed a society where you can numb any uncomfortable feeling immediately.

Modern technology has completely decimated our dopamine system. We're a world full of dopamine junkies. It's just not as in your face as a destitute addict on the street. Dopamine = motivation. Why would I want to have kids when I can just eat fast food and watch Netflix? That is the path of least resistance to fulfill our biological desires. But this is not real and will lead to the same hollowness that addiction never solves for. You're trying to fill a void. Real dopamine comes from doing hard things. Having kids is the hardest thing you can ever do in your entire life. You must be ready to bear that responsibility.

Step 3: Find the right partner

I can only speak from the male perspective but in conversations I've had with women it seems to be a two-way street. Society has created unhealthy people (see step 2) which translates to unhealthy relationships (see 50+% divorce rate). When you're not in a healthy relationship you can never honestly see your partner as the mother/father of your child. You can lie to yourself and stay in denial but deep down you feel it. In my experience I knew immediately when I found the right person. It's very primal and instinctual. Trust your instincts. It's not purely based on physical attraction, but once you have enough experience in the dating world, you begin to see things for what they are. You might have to burn your hand on the stove first though. Just a reminder that you are 50% of any relationship. This is not to put all the blame on one partner. There has to be mutual partnership.

Once you get to that point, the idea of having children becomes natural. It doesn't have the friction it once had in your brain. You think "I can't wait to become a parent" which sounds insane to a past version of yourself. While I don't have kids yet, I am on the path to. At the most fundamental biological level, we are here to reproduce. Society has separated us from the natural world so much that most people have lost touch with their bodies and the main purpose of why were here.

So to summarize, the change has to come from within. No amount of money or societal structure will fix that. It's going to take generations for us to undo all of the propaganda and brainwashing of the last hundred years. This unfortunately is our responsibility to bear. Because if we don't no-one else will. That is an existential threat to humanity we are programmed to avoid. We must be the adults (literally and figuratively) in the room and plant the seeds for our future generations.

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You should see how many old lonely people I see at work who have children. Having children isn't a silver bullet. Nor does not having them mean one must end up lonely. We've chosen not to have children up to this point. We could afford to and we fully support other people doing it if they want to. We love the little ones in our family. There doesn't necessarily need to be something wrong with people who choose not to have children. The worst possible thing for society is people having children when they shouldn't or when they don't even want them. Money is a valid reason to not have children for those who can't afford it. It's disgusting to intentionally do that.

I don't buy the defeatist arguments though IF the person cares about the world. Raising awesome children is the best way to start fixing it, in my opinion.

Could it be that the divorce rate is so high they fear is they don’t want that to happen to their kids if they were to get married?

That's just a reason that people feel defeated

Reason enough not to believe it couldn’t be something else better so scared to try maybe?

Defeatist. Exactly

It will also lead to societal collapse in relatively short order

šŸ’Æ

The book Hannah’ Chimdren is inspiring and gives new light to some of the reasons people aren’t having kids as well as the upsides of large families.

Caution to everyone who reads this book that you will immediately start figuring out how you can have 10 kids and what kind of car would fit everyone šŸ˜‚

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Agreed nostr:nprofile1qqs2gndun24r2utk5l20tscsdprw5zttvm0qk58w8xhl2ja2kmzt7jcpvemhxue69uhkv6tvw3jhytnwdaehgu3wwa5kuef0dec82c33x5ehsmt90q6ry7p5vd5xge3hx5mksupnwym857rpvaukk6m9dvmhqer8wa6hwepsxu6rjd35v34hj6rp89ensvnj096ns0mzwfhkzerrv9ehg0t5wf6k2qg7waehxw309ahx7um5wgkhqatz9emk2mrvdaexgetj9ehx2ap0gaszsu

Many #millennials are so overwhelmed and bombarded with bad news about the future, and conditionally traumatized by the lack of agency and financial stability that they have been, in a sense, robbed of.

Teaching self-empowerment, and the agency that comes with #fullownership of your life, involves breaking these deeply ingrained narratives down to their core.

This is my work and passion.

The world may seem hopeless, but I’ll say it’s a lot more hopeless without the promise of a next generation.

šŸ™ŒšŸ¼

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