Sometimes we can be in denial about the hard things we had to endure. Our brains do that to protect us.
But If you’re ever wondering how your childhood was ask yourself this question…
Would I want my kids to experience the same childhood?
Discussion
I wish my mom didn’t have an Only Fans account growing up.
I will make sure my son doesn’t have to experience this.
Breaking the cycle. Good for you man.
The worst is the people who had a fucked up childhood who want their kids to get the same treatment.
"My parents hit me & I turned out fine!"
If you want to hit your kids then not really...
If you don't think spankings are warranted you will either A. have shit heads that grow up entitled to everything or B. You don't have children.
Children must be physically disciplined. They don't respond to logic. They're children. They're highly illogical.
Monkey see, monkey do.
Hitting kids only teaches them that to get what you want you have to be bigger & stronger & "in charge."
I have friends who hit their kids & they seem to just mentally block out the fact that when their son gets frustrated he walks around the room & hits everyone. They always act surprised. I have seen people literally hitting their kids saying " We. Dont. Hit." In time with the smacks.
It's so fucking obvious. And it has been clearly shown to lower IQ & reduce self control.
You are demonstrating that when you can't outsmart your kid you will resort to violence rather than distractions or instruction or anything else. So they will also resort to violence rather than learn to think.
If your logic worked then we should just hit old people when they get back to a stage when they don't understand either.
well said
Spanking isn't hitting. It's discipline.
Would you "discipline" a retard or an elderly person who has lost their mind the same way? You imply that it's the only or the best way to communicate & make them understand because that are irrational...?
Would you train a bear or an elephant or a chimp by "spanking" it?
Hit carries a connotation of abuse. You should never abuse any children, much less your own. You dispense physical discipline because you love your children, not because you don't like them. It's very hard to do.
Tell yourself whatever you want... But it's exactly what I described. The frustrated kid walks around & tries to slap everyone on the legs. You aren't teaching internal self regulation or discipline. You are teaching either violence or mindless obedience, & both are great sources of evil in the world.
I have twins. They’ve never been hit or spanked. They’re 6 years old. Both boys. 1 hits and slaps when he doesn’t get his way. The other never hits or results to violence.
Same home, both never spanked or hit.
It’s not so simple.
Kids will do all sorts of things when they are unhappy, it's not like they won't figure out how to use their arms, but it certainly helps if you aren't modeling aggressive behavior.
My kids don't hit other kids. Think whatever you want. You have kids?
If you don't want them to hit people & you want them to deal with problems rationally & intelligently, you should model that behavior. Hitting them isn't making them better people, it's only repeating the cycle that made you someone who hits kids.
And sure, you can resort to the "you can't understand" argument like I haven't been a kid, like I haven't seen my friends & family have kids, like I haven't seen the results of their different appraoches, like I haven't studied the subject to prepare for kids, & like I just can't fathom how exhausting the whole process can be. But it's just an effort to escape having to actually deal with the issue.
Parents who regularly resort to similarly authoritarian trump cards "It's not your house" "Because I said so" "You're too young to understand" are teaching their kids to make arguments from authority rather than to actually have well thought out reasons for what they do.
Children can't deal with things rationally and intelligently. Do you have kids?
Neither can you apparently. You hit & make arguments from authority. Might have something to do with how you were raised.
When you must resort to personal attacks, you've conceded the argument. I had a pretty good childhood. My children will have an even better one.
Lol, pointing out exactly what you have said is not a personal attack.
You said I can't deal with things rationally and intelligently and I have for this entire conversation.
Except for the logical fallacies...? "There isn't enough time" (everything is an emergency, right?) & telling me I can't understand because I don't have kids.
Not logical fallacies, but alright.
You are implying a position of unquestionable authority by way of having kids. It's not a valid argument.
I do have unquestionable authority over my children. If you don't think you do, then you aren't raising children. You're neglecting the responsibility of parenting.
I'm not your child, dumbass
Name calling heh? You have conceded the argument and lost imo. So I'm donr with the conversation and will no longer reply. Feel free to tell me how terribly I'm raising children when you have a 3 year old. Then you can get back to me.
No you misinterpreted the comment in order to avoid the point which makes you a dumbass.
This has less than nothing to do with the point being discussed. You are responding to a point that literally doesn’t exist in this conversation.
You are, obviously, using the idea that someone cannot have anything of value to add unless they don’t have kids (scratch that) which then changed to multiple kids later.
This is the exact same claim that a doctor cannot know how to cure cancer unless they have it.
he’s probably going out to hit his kids right now lol
generational trauma is a bitch
I have no reason to think he doesn’t love his kids completely or that he would hit them arbitrarily. To the contrary his heated takes here suggest he does care very much about thinking he is doing what is necessary to make them better.
That said I laughed at the comment 😆
I disagree in spirit though, lol
Children don't have well thought out reasons for what they do. The arrogance to tell people how they should raise their children with no experience of your own is astounding.
It's was a pretty easy guess that you don't have any. If you did, you wouldn't be so arrogant about how other people should raise theirs.
Focus on making your own before passing down your opinion on the matter.
"Set Your House In Perfect Order Before You Criticize The World"
I used to believe that until i actually spend time around someone who had the strength of will and patience to only discipline with natural consequence. I have to say though, sometimes a quick spanking would have been more merciful than some of the stuff that kid had to go through. But as a consequence, they had saved up money to get their own place right out of high school, and had a thriving business by 22.
I tried to talk them into teaching on parenting because they were so good at it. But it’s not for the weak, and takes incredible discipline. Spanking is the easier road.
One kid or multiple? All the difference. With multiple there isn't time to let it play out. The behavior needs to be rectified in a timely manner.
Govt level cope. Everything is an emergency we don't have time to respect your rights.
My children don't have rights. They're my children until they become independent on their own. I will indoctrinate them with my values.
You seem to be misinterpreting my point. You are justifying physical aggression with "there isn't enough time."
Discipline is not aggression.
Hitting (no matter what you want to call it) is not discipline. Discipline is internal self regulation. You aren't teaching that, you are demonstrating your lack of it.
Being disciplined, and dispensing it, are two different things. I am disciplined but I'm human, so I'm not perfect. Teaching your children that their are consequences to their inappropriate behavior is in fact, instilling discipline in my children. What's so hard about understanding touching a hot stove will burn your hand? Listen to your parents instruction or you get spanked. Same thing bud. I don't spank them for being outgoing, doing things for themselves, questioning things, etc. I spank them when they don't listen to me or their mother and when they're willfully defiant. They're free to question me when they move out on their own.
It's the stupid path that produces dumber kids with brains that shut off in certain situations.
i see many children not growing up as entitled and not getting physically disciplined, my experience.
Why do we not hit the mentally handicapped when they do something wrong? And how could it possibly be that they are able to get around sensibly from day to day in the absence of this critical element required to teach them due to their illogical behavior?
Children aren't the mentality handicapped a d the government is not the parent of the citizen.
Neither of these things counter the point even a little bit. You literally said it was because they don’t understand logic. Where did I say it had anything to do with *who* was doing the enforcement?
So without dodging again, can you explain the logic that says this doesn’t apply to mentally handicapped people, but does apply to children?
Not understanding logic does not equate to not understanding consequences of actions. The mentally handicapped and elderly may not. After a certain age, you are beyond physical discipline because you can understand and hold a conversation for more than 2 minutes.
How do you discipline your 3 year old?
3 year olds do nothing wrong, and if they do, it is learned behavior. Reflect on how they learned it.
Tell me again how you discipline yours.
3 year don't know right from wrong. That's your job as a parent to teach them when they do wrong. My guess is you don't have any kids. Am I right?
I have kids, and I am speaking from experience.
I doubt the validity of your claim. If you're being honest surely you must realize it's extraordinarily abnormal to have a 2-3 yr old that doesn't throw a fit about something. Nearly impossible really.
It's a people thing (kids are people), I can't communicate it over this medium. Keep your mind open to it, and you may even know someone with a similar experience who would concur with me.
discipline takes many forms/do my best
Of course it does. But the idea that hitting is a crucial and irreplaceable form of it and that the only alternative is to do nothing and let your kids run wild and become incoherent lunatics is just an absurd position and i think even those implying it in this conversation are perfectly aware of that.
That is completely untrue, and is probably an indicator of lack of listening and understanding of what the kid is communicating of which most is non-verbal. The need to hit a kid is 100% a failing of the adult.
How do you discipline your 3 year old?
There is no "listening" to a screaming tantrum and wilful disobedience.
All other attempts at communication have failed, the child is frustrated out of his wits. They are constantly communicating something, mostly love. 3 year olds do not need discipline. Kids I raised never had a screaming tantrum, they got their point across without it.
Most people in my family and my HUGE extended family spank their kids. Generally the kids that don't get spanked are usually weird, creepy, ackward, and/or annoying. Fortunately, they tend to grow out of it after they grow up and leave home.
All too often parents that don't spank kids produce kids that are major POS's.
They're arrogant. Think they can do whatever they want without consequence. My guess is most politicians were never spanked as kids.
I lived in a trailer, single mom, money was always tight, welfare. But we did have love. Still, had a lot of trauma surrounding those circumstances
I'm giving my kid the life I never had, or atleast a better upbringing. We're doing pretty good right now
Wanna join a bitcoin dads telegram group?
cognitive dissonance + selective memory
Definitely yes
There were a couple hugely traumatic events that no child should have to experience, but apart from those, yes, I wish my children could experience my childhood. Alas, the present state of technology did not make it so, and I was unwilling and unable to give them the Luddite existence I was lucky to have.
There are other examples aswell apart from the smacking opinions.
Look at, insert famous person's kids....
That person has strived to give their kids a better life than they had, but when they become uber famous, the kid is brought up in unimaginable luxury and unfortunately the upshot is....the kid has no purpose in life
I always feel sorry for David Beckhams oldest lad, poor kid has no direction 😢 he can't get a regular job because he's born a literal millionaire and anything he tries to turn his hand to, he gets laughed at and put down
Psychologically damaging, I know it's not as bad as physically being abused but mental torture is up there!
Wealthy kids should be taught to choose and go for a good cause, like saving the rain forest or a certain animal or bring art education to poor kids/people, etcetera. Enough good causes, and they will not be laughed when doing good deeds.
Yes.
Tried to recreate it by marrying my daddy and becoming my mom and it worked.
Huge part of why I dont have kids. No kid should ever have the childhood I did.
But you’d be responsible for their childhood, so I don’t really see the issue.
Im not opposed to having kids personally, but I don't want to rush into it. I haven't been in a stable enough relationship where having kids even comes to mind.
Never even conceived of that question in my mind, as sadly, the answer is an unalterable No.
I was lucky enough to find a wife with a son from her late husband, so I didn't have to take the chance of creating someone like the people I come from, which I simply would not have done.
I'm on grand children now, and I make CERTAIN they won't have the same childhood I had... By telling them I love them all the time, and making sure they know it.
That said I DO hope they have the freedom and adventure I and most of my contemporaries had.
Just as long as you’re aware that you’re giving your kids the life they need not the one you wished you had. They’re not always mutually exclusive but it’s important to know that difference.
My childhood was, in many parts, pure hell. Seen from outside, it probably didn't look that way, and I can't put my finger on exactly why, it's probably the many small things, and/or things from before I can remember. It's not like there weren't good parts too, but on average I'd give it 2 stars out of five, would not recommend. Or maybe I'm remembering the worse parts more right now because the current state of me and my environment, I don't know.
With very few exceptions, yes, I would be happy if my children had a childhood similar to my own.
You and me both. I got into some trouble along the way, but somehow I wonder if my kids will be lesser for not getting into as much trouble. Plus I had more spending money growing up vs now for a few reasons. I was lucky.