Took a while, but I now have alby connected, so I can zap to my heart's content. Let's do a contest. I'll give a prompt, funny responses get zaps.
Reasons the mainstream media will give for why you shouldn't own Bitcoin.
Discussion
It's not real. Only Jimmy Song and other criminals use it.
Cuz you know it’s gonna craaash!
Because bitcoiners are mean
It can’t be trusted.
🥸 There is NOTHING funny about mainstream media bitcoin FUD… except maybe “because it has no intrinsic value” 🤣
You're too damn smart to fall for magic internet money without any backing, right?🤔🤨😄
Because the price goes up and down, unlike anything in the "real" economy...
Anti trans / racist / climate destroyer used by extremists 🤷♂️
Its too speculative! Its not a store of value because if it were it would stay the same price. They are not sending their best!
https://v.nostr.build/yqqDP.mp4
it’s boiling the oceans. bigly.
"Bitcoin Causes Inflation: Bitcoiners are selfish for hoarding currency and not participating in our great national monetary system. All licensed monetary experts agree that this fact leads to a higher inflation. "
You should refrain from owning bitcoin out of solidarity with the central banks.
Do not buy Bitcoin because nostr:npub1hxwmegqcfgevu4vsfjex0v3wgdyz8jtlgx8ndkh46t0lphtmtsnsuf40pf and his Bitcoin Mining is boiling the Oceans. This will be the BlackRock talking point when the Ethereum ETF launches and they got a new shiny product to sell to investors.
Trump likes bitcoin
⚡️🤙💜
I’m new hear. Haven’t gotten any of that figured out
LFG Jimmy 💎⚡
Because most people are allergic to wealth.
Bitcoin ponzi funds self sovereignty and responsibility
"Experts Say Bitcoin Price Increase Leads to Reduced Working Hours and Lower Tax Revenue, Hurting Government's Ability to Fund Ukrainian President's Second Yacht"
Tulips, dude. QED.
"This good and not the bitcoins"
Sounds like a joke but was a real newspaper cover when some spaniards were getting up early and forming queues in order to buy treasure bills
Because it’s boiling the oceans
"Stop using Bitcoin! It could kill you! CDC reports of a highly contagious virus having escaped from a military super lab onto the internet. If exposed to Bitcoin, shut down all electronic devices and report to the nearest quarantine zone for testing. If unsure, download
Most Kenyans believe Bitcoin is a scam ..
Most even fear hearing the name Bitcoin 😂😂
We even prank shop attendants to accept Bitcoin payment because we don't have cash and they decline to sell😂😂😂
it’s for communists
because is not issued by any government
"Bitcoin isn't a store of value, it's price is only going up because people are buying it" -Peter Shiff on FOX, probably.
…because it’s a slippery slope to nostr
Because if it fails there isn't anybody to sue to get your money back.
Destroying the $ therefore it's not patriotic ...!
You can em cheaper on Amazon. Only $14.59!
A friend of mine found a Bitcoin on the road and told me it’s worth $70,000. 🤣He didn’t understand when I tried to explain to him what a real bitcoin was.😮
It's not LBGQTZYX friendly
It’s only used by criminals like Fortnite Winnie the Pooh
When you download them, they can infect your computer with a virus
"Bitcoin is an alien invention!": Some might suggest that Bitcoin was created by extraterrestrials with a dark plan to destabilise the world economy.
I am 100% convinced that we humans don't need help to destroy our self.
We are smart enough to manage
🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Bitcoins cause baldness!": Wacky theories may be emerging linking the use of Bitcoin to hair loss, prompting some to avoid cryptocurrency to maintain their hair.
The scary thing is, that there are some who really believe that shit. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
because there are only 21 millions, and we are 6 billion. not enough for everyone
BITCOIN MASSIVE BREAK OUT IS
COMING SOON 🔥
THE PRICE IS CONSOLIDATING IN
THUS BULLISH FLAG PATTERN.
WE ARE IN A TREND CONTINUATION.
PRAY FOR $75,000 !!
“Our expert tech reporters have found Bitcoin to be a scam. Our team each bought a small amount of Bitcoin and entered their addresses multiple times, but were never sent their special Bitcoin “keys”. Representatives from the post office agree that Bitcoin is a scam and this issue of mailing fictitious keys is just another part of the scam.”
"Bitcoin has no intrinsic value."
Halving means losing half your Bitcoin. Suckers!
"Bitcoiners claim that there will never be more than 21M coins and yet accuse our existing financial institutions of causing poverty. Digital pot meet empty kettle?"
It is backed by nothing and it is not stable currency, it’s all Ponzi
'What if Satashi pops up and says we're going to 42m coins?'
- Jamie Dimon (I'm paraphrasing from memory)
Bitcorn has been linked in several very rigorous studies to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. It's bad for your health. Buy regular corn instead.
It hasn’t been vaccinated
“It’s a bubble not backed by anything”
Holding your own keys is hard and dangerous.
Better spend hours getting a certified brokerage account, waiting on a business day to connect it to your bank account, set up a 401k with you fiat boss, filling out tax forms so your ruler knows everything, click out of all the warning messages required by the SEC, and own an ETF. Simple!
‘Why Buy Bitcoin When You Can Invest in the Surefire Stability of Avocado Toast Futures?’”
You will own no-thing and you will be happy. Owning bitcoin will make you unhappy.
-MSM, Chief WEF Mouthpiece
"Bitcoin it's an attack to our stable and democratic economic system.."
LOL
Happy to see you buzz with us!
Happy to see you buzz with us!
nostr:npub1getal6ykt05fsz5nqu4uld09nfj3y3qxmv8crys4aeut53unfvlqr80nfm mind buzzing me an invite code?
check dms!
It's making the insects disappear.
Msm sayin 'Bitcoin will put you one the Moon and there is no oxygen up there!'
*one = on
Donde esta me zap?
"if it was a good store of value the price wouldn't change"
It's racist, homophobic, misogynist, and a product of white supremacy!
Because it killed Charlie Munger. BTC killed Charlie.
Live with that Bitcoiners, you evil fuckers. 
Because bitcoin is dead again... it's going to zero 🙃
Because "jOuRnALisM"
It’s not a store of value because it doesn’t stay the same price
“I mean when you want a refund who are you going to call? there’s no bitcoin customer support. It’s a scam i’m telling you.”
Laser eyes are scaring the children.
Because you can't call a helpdesk
Because printing dollars helps sequester carbon from the atmosphere so using dollars is the only way to save the world
why idle your car to solve sudokus that trade for heroin??
It's not backed by the "full faith and credit” of the U.S. government"
We've told you 476 times before that bitcoin has died - are you stupid?
„A single Bitcoin transaction could use the same amount of water needed to fill a garden swimming pool“ 
Aren't you aware that bitcoin funded Jan 6. It's money for insurrectionists. Don't be one of them.
Bitcoins will destroy car maker Fiat, will kill grandma with increased CO2 exposure.... and decrease your attractiveness to the opposite gender.
lol, what gender
"Zappers are a cult of nerds that worship NIPples"
it's too volatile... i zapped someone the other day and i had to open the windows due to the lack of oxygen in the air
“it has crashed so many times! To $200 then to $3,500 then to $15,500 … wait a second …”
Cos we don't be paid for shilling Bitcoin.
“You shouldn’t own bitcoin because you can’t throw darts at it. “ - Elizabeth Warren. Hands down the most hilarious one I’ve heard yet.
The Bitcoin CEO won't answer interview requests.
Because not backed by the army 🪖
Because you can't buy a "State Bitcoins" album to collect them with your grandkids.
What if this “Satashi” guy wakes up out of nowhere and says: “It is not 21M anymore mfers. I fooled u all.” And dumps another 21M to the market? Haha, Checkmate 😎