You know how you're supposed to act super interested in the company you're interviewing with? And you gotta know all about them...
That's a humiliation ritual.
Discussion
i got love bombed one time in an interview as well, so much cult vibes, it was creepy and i couldn't put that thought down until i learned what it was, literally triggered me to finally learn about cults
the guy was so obvious with it that i almost could thank him for it because after that i threw off all the parasites in my life and started a new phase
Was he clingy or what? Huggy?
What's a love bomb?
just search for "cult love bomb" you'll learn what it is, it's an induction technique used by cults to bring in new people
the interview was online, it can be done entirely via voice alone, video helps, NLP would explain it as "getting rapport" but it's extremely underhanded, one of the creepy things about NLP i suppose
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing this is a pretty good explanation of it
i have noticed an alarming amount of this kind of "buttering up" in notes in threads i saw you interacting with.
i cannot strongly enough recommend you make yourself familiar with the techniques used by manipulators to acquire your attention and get you trapped into continuing to feed them. There is many good resources on the internet about the techniques used by cults to gain and maintain control of their victims. I made a 9C's code myself, made a Gist on my old github account:
https://gist.github.com/l0k18/99692e5a92868b53529899fccd9859a0
it's the condensation of the research i did when i learned about this in late 2021, i feel like you would benefit from adding this to your arsenal
Were other people love bombing me, or was I love bombing them? Either way, thanks for telling me. Most people wouldn't, even if they had all the information.
love bombing is just one way of using compliments and friendly words to disarm people, it makes you feel "in love" other usages can simply stop you from recognising their hostile intent
In the past few days I think I've gone through a kind of psychological cycle. I was getting some validation from my spiritual musings, leading into religious stuff, but ended up reacting very negatively and harshly to someone for what I felt were domination tactics. You saw, no need for elaboration... Then, I think as a reaction, I started trying to remake how I interact with nostr. Basically tried to appreciate a more playful use of it. Doing so would fit with a longer term project I've had, which is to reduce my dependence on "left-brain" thinking, which means try to get more creative/intuitive. My problem there is that I still approach it in a logical/mechanistic way, but just fool myself into thinking its creatively expressive.
I've mentioned a few times on nostr my dislike of a particular religious group - the eastern orthodox. That's because, in light of this new love bombing information, they tried to love bomb me over YouTube. If they hadn't moved too quickly into the gaslighting phase, it might've worked. I guess my left brained approach to life saved me there... It certainly got a reaction from them.
I wonder... The EO cult may be a particularly bad offender, but they aren't the only ones... I think something like that is going on in all of the physical churches. So the emotional need that causes people to do that could be the reason Christianity has fallen so far from the original meaning. Its so bad, that most people who figure out the Bible end up quitting Christianity altogether. The problem is the people, not the beliefs. You tell anyone who thinks they're Christian what Jesus is actually saying, and they respond with intolerance. That may be because they are under a psychopath's control. What I described earlier as the forever narrowing of purity tests could actually be the gaslighting of "believers" to maintain control over them.
Anyways. Please do point out if I was doing any love bombing, or anything manipulative. There were a few things I said recently which I've been beating myself up over - showing too much neediness, basically.
you were clearly ready for someone to give you a few new tools to build your new model
that latent guilt about being one of them will fade with time
and yes, almost none of the churches are not controlled by psychopathic manipulators... it was already so bad 30 years ago that my mother abandoned gathering with them - she had a pretty strong instinct about it, and it was why she divorced my father, he was trying to use these techniques to maintain control of his leader role in the family instead of using his masculine power
idk if my father has woken up to it fully yet, but i know my mother she is a wise old witch, and i love her because of that, she is helping keep my sister's children from being turned into drones as well, i love my mother, she is the best, i always let her know when she appears again
btw, i'm pretty sure there is a connection between witch and wise, obviously related to "way", probably something related to the "ist" suffix, like "wist" is "to have known" in german, iirc
also this whole constellation of words is related to the latin "vis" to see
and now i look at that, and i go "oh, and this is the relation to fish too"
Fish? That's unexpected
visser is the word for fisherman in dutch and german, think about it
this whole complex of ambiguity over V, B, F and U in old european languages has led to an extraordinary constellation of links that are extremely clear once you start to notice them
learning portuguese has cracked the egg for me
I guess that's why every German I meet can speak 5 languages
yeah, the interconnection between european languages takes a lot of time to absorb but once you start to get it CLICK so many things become really obvious, and not just being able to comprehend the foreign script (and it's easiest to see in script) but the semantics
That's good, and under appreciated in society. A good relationship with your mother, I mean.
This religion thing combined with fiat clown world progression could go to some very very bad places. Everyone is going insane... A lot of them think turning to religion is a proper response to the insanity they can recognize, but don't realize the religion is just validating some very bad assumptions. Like, "men should be the bread winner" is an assumption that plays on men's emotional insecurities, and synergizes with the churchy message that the man leads the family. Nevermind the reasons and justifications - this creates monsters in a society where men have less and less success.
i agree, to some extent, that it sets up ghosts for people to chase
but fundamentally, the man is supposed to be the one that gives imperative to the family, and anything that externalises that is contrary to it, like you say
Interesting. Well, I would say there's a spectrum, as with anything.
I'm from the south and my close friend from California always pointed out to me how much he hated the fake politeness vibes of the south.
When I run into someone from New York or a big city, I'm always aware of how silly I must sound with formulaic stuff. But at the same time it's a lot of fun to have the difference in relating styles for people who are willing to be authentic and point them out.
Also, there is the thing about meeting new people that just puts me into overdrive about wanting to know everything about them and thinking they are the greatest thing ever that walked on the planet.
this sweet talking you speak of is a form of begging
and yes, of course it relates to the kind that manipulators use
it's very interesting how the posture for these things gets bedded into a cultural meme... people in the balkans have this meme about how saying what you think makes you more blessed (slav) - to the point where they have a policy where you don't use kind words when you beg, you just say "give me" (dai me) and this is also related to old latin words as well, in portuguese "daime" literally means give me, exactly the same as balkans
Huh. Reminds me of a time someone in China very directly and impolitely begged - demanded, really - for some coins to ride the bus. I gave him the coins, mostly just off guard and happy I understood him, and that was that
yeah, you haven't been to balkans yet. they are extremely direct, it's almost the polar opposite to the eastern way
Chinese are very direct. Mainland, at least. An aside, but I'd love it if Taiwan would hurry up and officially declare their name to be Taiwan so I can skip all the "mainland" acrobatics...
China Chinese are generally about as happy being rude as a New Yorker, and even more direct. The rest of Asia is indirect and polite. That'll change if China ever fully integrates
i want people to say what they think to me, always, i'm not scary, watwat?
also, my experience is a little different, chinese people are precise, and subtle, like the serbian tongue is a halberd and they have a scalpel and hit the target equally
Yeah... I definitely don't like the feeling of being either manipulated or forgotten, which is what tends to happen socially in the polite Asian countries
So Maybe "sweet talking" is not so good but there is a case to be made for "talking sweetly".
I also felt like a caveman compared to the Brazilian politeness.
However, I get it. Sometimes there is politeness in front of your face and there is backstabbing behind.
A lot of politeness is telegraphing intentions to strangers. Initial contacts with others have to result in exaggerated gestures until contact is established
Perhaps as they become friends there is more directness.
Also I highly value truth speaking. Even when I don't like to hear it.
It's much more loving to speak the truth to people than "talking sweetly".
yes, there is times for speaking softly, with ominous confidence
and there is also times for saying "WTF BRO SERIOUSLY YOU FUCKING JUST SAID>>>>"
Also, this love bombing thing reminds me of anytime I try to tell a friend BTC is a good investment.
I want to just stop but it's such a compulsion.
So BTC bombing is a serious thing and someday friends are just going to call an ambulance and have me taken away as I scream about "volatility", and "zoom out" and "you have to look at it on a log chart".
haha! no, most people don't even understand what cult manipulation and induction techniques are, they just say you are annoying if it doesn't gel with them
you aren't obviously love bombing them because you are obviously doing the opposite, causing a challenge, and this is causing them to be repulsed
but that's life, they have different programs, and if your rationales don't work for them, you can interrogate them more, and gently, and more kindly, and maybe you can find a way
but it's really hard to reason with people about time preference
most people barely even can reason about next year let alone 4 years ahead
bitcoin luvs come from 5-10 years of experience
nobody tried to persuade me, it was just the money i needed to be able to trade for fiats if i was going to sell drugs, and later, to buy drugs from strangers in this business, i had traction on crypto very early, just not the maximalism, that took years to develop
People get into ruts, being fairly comfortable with their life, even if they know it sucks. It would be easier to persuade them to spend a couple thousand to go vacation with you than to get them to buy btc. But if they do go adventuring, then I think they become orange pillable.
that's how i would approach it... adventures make people's brains more plastic, and give ample opportunities to make analogies in fireside tales
for the most part, "orange pilling" is just bashing your head against a brick wall... i've never been inclined to really try and i'm dealing with this pharmacist recently and she just doesn't grasp the value of it, even though her boss, and me both do
I'm also from the South, but I'm weird... Introvert, would rather go to the dentist than meet new people. I usually have a New Yorker's directness and humor, though I hated NYC when I visited once
I'm an introvert too (get energy from sitting alone with my thoughts) but I like to meet new people. It's risky but there's the reward of potentially having a good conversation.
I don't like hanging out in groups in general as I tend to stay silent when there's a group.
Also every person I have met who seems extraverted to me tell me that they are introverts so I can't say I know any introverts except the person I live with.
But that may be the weed causing extroversion.
Is there really such a thing as an extravert.
Probably not. The whole paradigm is probably like hitting a nail sideways. I see people who care a lot about their image/reputation, and people who don't care. The ones who care sacrifice themselves unendingly to be viewed as good/accepted/in/valuable - and it becomes self fulfilling. But its still a fantasy world
Food for thought. Thank you
