A father treats his daughters like they’re his. Because they are.
It’s called headship.
From father to future husband. Authority is meant to be handed off, not abandoned. And any father worth his salt knows that transfer should be fitting, not flippant.
God didn’t give his daughters to the state. Or the village.
And certainly not to the shrill gaggle of evangelly-fish flopping around in the comments, gasping for the next progressive applause line.
Powerful!! ❤️
Conflating leadership with ownership will damage his daughters, their voice, and how they relate to God. Except for their choices to assert their autonomy despite his control and manipulation, and God's intervention, they would be lost.
Answered earlier bud👇🏻
A godly father exercises headship over what he “owns” in trust from God:
His children belong to him and ultimately to God, so he leads them.
His home is a little kingdom, and he is the appointed king, under the High King.
That’s why a godly man does not apologize for making decisions for his household. That’s his job. That’s what he’ll answer for.
He’s not treating them like property. He’s treating them like his responsibility.
Belonging is in the category of family.
Owning is in the category of property.
Conflating these leads to problems in the violations of interpersonal boundaries, that God has endowed to each person, and child.
Men are responsible for leading and stewarding their father relationship to their kids, because they belong to him. But he doesn't own them. And thinking he does own them is a categorical error, not only in how he relates to them but also in terms of implicitly believing he is God.
And that's the arrogance Laser is inadvertently demonstrating. No person gets to decide for another person their life choices, including their career. That is the person's choice alone.
So if a father insists on making that choice for his daughter, he is implicitly communicating, "I know better than you." And, "I don't trust you to make choices for yourself " And is entering into a version of codependence and enmeshment. And that is dishonoring towards her, and by extension, God. Because he's saying he doesn't trust God to be God of his daughter.
Do fathers get to steward their households? Yes.
Do they get to control their children's lives once those children have grown to adulthood and can make their own choices?
No.
Now accusation of arrogance. This will not end well. Perhaps tend your own garden
In some sense, arrogance is, "I know best. I am better than others."
Lasers assertion that, "My daughters are too valuable for a career," implies that he knows better than his daughters how they should live their lives. While I'm sure he loves his daughters and wants the best for them, it seems, based on his assertion, that he already thinks he knows that that is, rather than helping them to discover their destinies themselves in partnership and intimacy with God.
Perhaps it is an accusation, but for me it's less an accusation than an observation.
"Perhaps tend your garden." I don't mind debating as long as it remains respectful. I don't like when people give me unsolicited advice, because it's a sign of an effort to control.
The deeper issue is that you see women as men with different genitals. But women aren't men. Their brains are wired differently. They are wired to nurture, and make sure people are nice and follow the rules. Men, on the other hand, are wired to be colder logical thinkers, risk takers, and have a better ability to directly give and take critical advice.
This difference makes men temperamentally suited for business and the workplace. It doesn't mean women can't do it, it means men are better at the inner fortitude required for work. (Notice that nowhere did I mention IQ, it's irrelevant).
With that basis, it's clear that women on average are better suited be nurturers at home by default. Existing under the headship of a father or husband becomes the natural place for girls to be.
Ownership in this sense is about covenantal responsibility, not property. And if that offends you, the problem isn’t slavery, it’s that you’ve accepted the state’s definition of personhood, where children “belong to themselves” at 13 and parents are just moral consultants.
nostr:nprofile1qqsr26r4lltjnvrwadxp67ns58m4qpzaqemhf5sup7hlujhjh7t296qpz3mhxue69uhkummnw3ezummcw3ezuer9wcqsuamnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dshsq9thtm isn’t acting like his daughters are slaves. You’re acting like they’re orphans.
She should make her own life choices.
Yes, and she will. But not while she’s still in her father’s house. And Lord willing, she won’t be entering adulthood as a blank slate with no compass because her father was too cowardly to draw a line in the sand.
A wise daughter may choose her path. But a faithful father clears the weeds and points to the path worth walking. Laser’s not making gods of his daughters. He’s refusing to worship their autonomy.
"Ownership in this sense is about covenantal responsibility, not property." I truly wish that was the case, but Laser's initial assertion betrays that value.
"My daughters are too valuable for a career."
The problem isn't so much Laser's opinion or believe. It's that he's already undermining and relating to them through a lens of, "You're incapable of competence." It's incredibly condescending, and it's a lie that's already damaging them.
"a line in the sand." What line? You're not allowed to work? That's not a good idea.
My personal philosophy of parenting seems quite different from yours, or Laser's. Whether it's a son or daughter, it's not fundamentally a father's responsibility to clear the weeds and point to the path worth walking. "Don't be careful. Be competent."
It's fundamentally a father's responsibility, beyond the practicals of food and shelter, to help and inspire their son or daughter to discover their voice and identity as designed by God, to give them a base of security in part by making sure they know they are loved no matter what, to emotionally coach them in how to handle themselves intrapersonally and interpersonally, to teach them what boundaries are and how to assert them, and to give them the tools necessary to make decisions that lead to Heavenly outcomes, personally and generally. Or, in your language, to teach them how to pick the weeds and clear the way, in intimate partnership and relationship with God, because to some degree that's how they learn, how they become competent, and grow in character.
I don't think Laser is making god's of his daughters or of their autonomy. I think he's worshipping his own judgement, probably without asking God what He wants Laser to teach his daughters. I could be wrong, but that's the way it seems to me.
"She should make her own life choices." I agree. But I don't think Laser agrees, unless I'm really misunderstanding him
Appreciate the back and forth. I hear you. I’ve laid out MY case. I think it’s better at this point for nostr:nprofile1qqsr26r4lltjnvrwadxp67ns58m4qpzaqemhf5sup7hlujhjh7t296qppamhxue69uhkummnw3ezumt0d5q3samnwvaz7tmswfjk66t4d5h8qunfd4skctnwv46qhg7k6g to answer what he means If he’s so inclined. But I believe I understood his whole premise and understanding of where he was going.
Based on the feedback I've been getting from him, though I could be wrong, he seems to be doubling down. But I hope I'm wrong.
You wish to send your daughters into the arms of the world to "protect" them from the tyranny of father control.
This is evil. Of Satan. Masked in progressive apologetics.
I wish to send my daughters into their own families to be wives, mothers, and home makers.
You will hesitate to create the environment, culture, and expectations necessary to protect them from the world and provide a life of lasting meaning and dignity.
I will not.
https://grok.com/share/c2hhcmQtMg%3D%3D_ca485a4a-12cb-4b81-be69-188e473cfac5
This mother raised my wife (little girl in photo), she is the kindest sweetest hardest working woman I have ever met. And her 15 children all rise up and call her blessed. Her youngest daughter is just like her. ❤️
Beautiful stuff mate
"Dude you can't CONTROL her!"
Your kids are your property and I don’t why people feel uncomfortable saying that
Otherwise they’ll just become property of the state and society.
And most of us don’t live in a society that we want them to belong in…
People are afraid to say it because they are retarded.
Abdicating authority to the state is the modern man's way of absolving himself of any responsibility or duty.
Apparently you can.
This is so good.
Fire 🔥
Giving one the benefit of doubt is the call here sir. I doubt Contra thinks his daughters are his property. I would back him completely if he believes as I do that they are his children to train up, protect and defend, all the while remembering his agency and place. At their maturity his role also matures.
We are quick to judgment are we not?
I would hope what you're saying is the case. The problem is, Contra is backing Laser's initial assertion which was in part, "My daughters are too valuable for a career." Perhaps it's only an opinion he has no intention to implement, but Laser's demeanor suggests that's not the case.
An assertion like that implies, not that he wants to do the best for his daughters while they are under his care. It suggests that he wants to make choices for whether or not they choose a career, which he is obviously against. The rest of Lasers posts, and what Contra has to some extent supported, is the idea that a woman can't become fully integrated in character and competence to the degree that she would be able to make good choices as it regards what she would do with her life. Laser and perhaps Contra don't believe their daughters can make good choices for themselves, which will undermine and harm them emotionally, and in their belief systems, because their inner voices are in large part programmed by their dads, since one of a father's primary responsibilities is imparting identity.
Since there is no such thing as compartmentalization, and everything is connected, this essentially means that Laser and Contra believe girls and women are incapable of running their own lives, so they or another man must do it. Nevermind their daughters relationship with Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit or becoming fully spiritually, psychologically, and physically integrated, because if their daughters take their father's path, especially as Laser has articulated, they would never discover their own voices and gain in character and competence, because they wouldn't be allowed to make their own choices, make their own mistakes, nor learn their own lessons.
If Laser and Contra want to rob their daughters of their opportunities to make and learn from their own choices, whether it's the daily things or their life choices, unless their daughters take the initiative on their own once out from under their households, they'll enter adulthood with incompetence and likely lack character as well, and that's not good.
Their daughters, depending on their ages, are unlikely to be able to notice what's happening, only experiencing a vague sense hurt and not being believed in that won't surface for many years in explicated language. But I'm more than willing to confront Laser's, and if Contra wants to back him up, deeply flawed thinking if there is the smallest chance it will save their daughters from experiencing immense pain that they would deal with for years.
"We" being quick to judge? That's not really my style although I'm certainly capable of it. I prefer to do my best to notice the nature of reality in any given context, understand or grok it, and then respond. I prefer to learn, and to take people's words at face value while also looing beyond the surface to see the why and how and what.
