We often end up giving everyone else all of our kindness and compassion, but never really offering ourselves any. Turning this around is life changing! First giving this to ourselves until we are full. Then we have plenty to give to everyone else without depleting ourselves. Give to yourself first!

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone! Sending so much love and peace to every single one of you! Grateful you are here! May your day be filled with an overabundance of peace, joy and connection. Allow yourself to embrace all the good things in your life. Hold those boundaries! You don't have to participate in anything that doesn't bring you peace, joy and love!

Narcissists will use this when they want to play victim and blame everything on you. Then they can say everything is your fault and you’re leaving them, even though that’s what they wanted. This still hurts even if it’s the best thing that could happen. It may be the opportunity you need. It definitely was for me.

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Narcissists will do everything in their power to destroy any and all relationships you have with anyone else. Part of this is for control for sure. The other reason is that you will have a better relationship with all of these people than they are capable of. This brings up shame for them. Rather than trying to be better, change or face anything in their life. They will instead destroy your relationships with everyone they can.

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Narcissists will try to trigger you forever in every interaction they have with you. It’s like a sick game to them. The hard part is how much we beat ourselves up when we react. It’s ok if you do react even though it sucks when we do. Do the best you can and be kind to you along the way. It's a process and a practice, not something we get perfect.

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Being out of a narcissistic relationship feels a lot like a hangover. Mind is fuzzy, might have a headache and you definitely feel like crap. Unlike a hangover from alcohol, it lasts for more than a day or 2. It can last for months, years, or even decades. Detoxing takes time and it often doesn’t feel good. It is the path to being healthy again though. Take the time. Do the work. You are worth it! https://blossom.primal.net/a63a073d85a04763a8c30fc8517d9fa2701f4d78796a5d2f7afa3250c2e4c186.mp4

Every single thing a narcissist ever does for anyone else always comes with an expectation. Narcissists are calculated in many things they do. Even when they aren't though, they always expect more from us. It's because to them, no one else matters. Nothing could be further from the truth! We all matter!

I help survivors of narcissistic abuse reclaim their independence and manage their minds.

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Narcissists want us to react and blow up so they can show everyone else how crazy we are. In reality, we're not crazy for reacting to their abuse, it's much more the opposite. The hard part is they hide what they do to us from everyone else. This is another reason for us to learn how to not react, until we can get away from them anyway. Be kind to you even when you react. We all deserve kindness and compassion especially from ourselves!

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Courage is a skill just any other that we can develop. The more we develop it the more we can expand our lives to what we truly want. The opposite is also true. It's simply a choice we make everyday whether we're aware or not. Courage is what it takes to leave a narcissist and build a life you love!

Most of the things that I talk about is from personal experience or similar personal experience. I definitely learn other things and a lot from clients experience too, but I've been through most of it myself. Be kind to yourself if you feel called out. These are a reminder for me too! https://blossom.primal.net/d0783b80811d99c4164849e36c8d4a7cf034ab6452a5901b59294104eebc6fcd.mp4

This is perhaps not what you would think of when talking about double standards. It is actually a double standard that we probably don't want to talk about. It's only OK if and when these things are true?! So many of us probably feel called out on this one. I think the most important thing is to be aware that it is a double standard. Not necessarily that we need to judge it one way or another. Although be careful of judging others for something many people do themselves. https://blossom.primal.net/e2618edbd9240446b89f35b590620c2e81c7346351cbc2f6667fe2e3f0b64724.mp4

It's not easy to not react when they know every single thing they can do to push our buttons. Learning to not react is a process and a practice. We can get better at it. We can also become more stable in our emotions. It's not easy and it takes work, but it’s something anyone can do.

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I realize most people are just trying to be helpful when they say, “Just don’t let them get to you”. Most often, it’s just not helpful. When we can do that, we do. The rest of the time the most important thing is to not beat ourselves up for them getting to us. And when we do beat ourselves up for it. To then be kind and have compassion for ourselves for that too! https://blossom.primal.net/64d5b0f370d5a961261e2b9a8864e3b798a15ab09bbdb5842ed1ba955cf2eef4.mp4

Relationships are confusing sometimes. If you leave every conversation with someone feeling confused and like you are the only problem, there's probably a bigger problem going on. They may be projecting everything onto you and that's not ok! Own what's yours, not what's theirs. We're never the only problem! https://blossom.primal.net/672afdfd69fc5b77606b35e8f2264f370bb976c4d503ab397735cfe222665b12.mp4

Narcissists blame us for everything, especially when we “piss them off”. Often times this is because we didn’t listen to them in the way they wanted or do exactly what they told us to do in the way they wanted it done.

We also end up often apologizing to them for something we don’t owe an apology for. In fact, they usually owe us an apology for the way they acted.

It’s completely reasonable to apologize for things we do, not for something they did. https://blossom.primal.net/8d361837c27756626cefba3172867f1dc865a8d0a1f64a9cacbeff074944e83d.mp4

Everything for them and nothing for you. They get to take everything and complain about everything and you'd better not say anything about anything other than how wonderful they are and how lucky you are to have them. This is all a lie and complete BS! We don't have to live with live with or deal with this!

We unfortunately lose too many people through and after toxic relationships. Some are good people who simply don't understand. Some are people unwilling to even have a conversation or gain understanding and simply cut us off. Those people are not worth the attempt at a conversation. They decided without even a word from us. Let them go! https://blossom.primal.net/f2284f0c5d354447b2d3dcd7fd563981af789fbdb27cfb3c6088416e0bfeb1c2.mp4

Life is busy and many times we don't take time for ourselves amidst the chaos of daily life. It's essential for us to do though. To ground and center ourselves or even to catch our breath. The breaks are just as essential as everything else we do in our lives. Take a moment, make the time for you! https://blossom.primal.net/169b991bd9dbb08577f1b38bcb07683d2135e6e21cf69c520152d9cf9f5bd44f.mp4

Shout out to the wonderful people who made our Christmas party happen! I don't wear sweaters and don't really like them, but I decided to get one and try a new experience. Definitely felt awkward, but I kind of like it, other than being hot.🥵 The drink pocket is a bonus I like.😜 This was well out of my comfort zone and sharing me in a sweater online even more so. Here we are though. 🤷‍♂️ Hope everyone else is finding fun and community and stepping out of their comfort zone in ways they want to as well. https://blossom.primal.net/f1da36c3729325aff8e354beb421fbaa9ac91e8a01cf2d7f46c48aef2e31bace.mp4

So many people say that everything happens for a reason as a way to try to justify or make people feel better. This almost never works and it's never really helpful. I don't believe everything happens for a reason. I do believe that we can make meaning out of everything that does happen though.

Stop making excuses for red flags. If someone lies, manipulates, or disrespects you, that’s who they are. Hoping for them to change will only prolong your pain. Anyone can change if they actually decide to, but most people won't. Hope often only keeps us stuck in toxic relationships that won't ever change! #grownostr

We put so much time, energy and attention on what we could have done to fix the relationship or the narcissist. This all takes time away from ourselves and our lives. More importantly, it holds us back and keeps us stuck thinking about them instead of moving forward in our lives. Bring your focus back to you! #grownostr https://blossom.primal.net/8e8a04828e5493a67377fbf483595ecdf339bd1594b3b642c3aeec37f2729320.mp4

Most of it's about shame. It's much easier for a narcissist to find something to shame you about, than ever face the shame they feel. They want you to feel worse, so they feel less bad. They don't want to and are unwilling to do the work to feel better themselves and there's nothing you can do about it. #grownostr