Hookup Culture. What are your honest thoughts on it?
Discussion
Makes me sad )))):
Why?
I live in Miami, hard to find real love out here, it’s all hookup culture basically no serious ppl
I live in NY and I lived in LA for a few years so I feel you. I got hope for us tho 🤞🏾
Hopefully you aren’t a tree planted in Miami 🙏
Please tell me you know the meme
What meme? Enlighten me 🤓
That’s a tough spot for a serious relationship. Would probably have better luck in Palm Beach county.
Was fun in college, I’m kinda asexual now tho so I’m over it. But I’d change my mind for Bad Bunny 😂
So you are not over it 🫠
Oh no I’m gonna upset the conservatives with this one huh 🤣 I just love him! https://youtu.be/Cr8K88UcO0s
So. Upset them. No one can stop you in Nostr. 💯
People have no morals these days 🤷♂️ 👴hehe
Centralized social media had a huge role to play in that.
Family unit is just not something young people seem to want anymore.
False lol
Signed,
A young person
It's not true that they don't.
In any case, it doesn't have to be a problem, it seems to me
Many reasons for this shift in mentality:
1. Insanely high living costs
2. Centralized social media platforms have also created this sense of fear of the real world, making risk aversion the social norm.
3. People also, nowadays, seem to have a tendency to become hostile when confronted with constructive criticism.
Lol. That's just a few. I could go on forever.
You’re 39% correct
Care to add?
1. Yes and increasing while wages on average barely improve
2. We’re outside lol
3. Rarely is this the case for young people. Hostility breeds hostility tho.
Sounds like a lot of work. 😂
Actual relationships are also a lot of work. Do you agree?
1000%.
But it’s a lot of work with the same person, so if you’re doing it right, there’s progression, even if it’s slow and ebbs and flows.
Having to start from scratch every time or just getting a scratch then moving on, has no end goal, no joy found in the pain and work of growing with someone else.
On my experience, it does require a lot more work. Still worthy of you found the one :)
#Manifesting meeting the love of my life on #Nostr cuz why not 🥰 #grownostr
#[0]
Want love, but like…so thirsty 🤣
As an observer across decades, it would seem an app on the phone is what brings people local together. I see lots of young men frightened to walk up and chat. How about you? What are you observing?
To me hookup culture turned dating into a highly competitive sexual marketplace dominated by top tier men who get to experience the majority of women in their youth. These men have plenty of options and will never settle so women end up sharing them en masse.
Young men disillusioned whose only access to women is sending money to them. A growing resentment of the opposite gender inevitably brewing inside them.
Women approaching the end of their fertility panic settling or completely unable to lock down a suitable partner. A growing resentment of the inadequate men available to them at that point.
When I was a kid everyone knew the man or woman who didn’t marry. It’s becoming commonplace. Most marriages end in divorce because the race never seems to end and the grass seems to be greener.
You aren’t wrong. Fiat mentality made its way everywhere. High time preference run amok.
You don’t need to be top tier anything to participate in hookup culture tho
I remember back when cruising was hookup culture. Again, even then it was material. Leave the Omni at home and jump in a friend’s firebird.
Such is life
Interesting perspective, but I think there is a lot of cultural context that can explain some of these trends that aren’t due to what you’re describing - not sure if correlation is causation here. Not to mention divorce rates are at a 50 year low and continue to go down. Statistics would imply marriages are happening less and when they do happen it’s with a bit more forethought. Not to mention the role marriage plays in society has changed significantly now that women are actually more able to work and support themselves.
I concede that what I describe is more nuanced than just saying it’s due to "hookup culture". It is indeed a result of many factors and every culture is and reacts differently in these regards. The cause may be different but the effects we are seeing today are undoubtedly somewhat related to a new set of dynamics that we may not even have a name for.
I think marriage is simply not serving the newer generations the same way it did to those before it. People don’t need each other anymore the same way they did before.
True. People are becoming far more financially independent. It's no longer the norm for women to stay home and take care of the kids while the man of the house goes to work.
I agree. I think marriage is turning into something that is actually because people want it, and not because it’s a need or a requirement for survival. And that changes what an “ideal mate” is, in biological terms. It won’t look like it did when we were kids, because the rights and opportunities of people (women, LGBTQ, etc) don’t look like they did back then (nor 30 years before that). People actually have more freedom to choose (or not choose) marriage, or the relationships they want. Freedom for groups that historically didn’t have those choices is bound to change how people relate to each other… IMO the pros outweigh any cons or growing pains as we adjust to the new paradigm. I hope as a species we continue to evolve vs trying to hold onto the past where many humans were extremely limited in their opportunities.
When was the last time a man had to get married for survival?
Bingo! Now women have that same choice.
Such an interesting conversation! When I was younger an single and going to university in a big city I definitely fell into the "sexual marketplace" trap as @cameri mentioned above - there was a point I didn't swipe right on anyone who wasn't [insert insanely unrealistic physical requirement here] and my self worth was ~completely~ entangled with the perceived ~caliber~ of man I could get a date with.
I think it's a phase, and while I don't think it's necessarily detrimental to anyone's wellbeing in the long run, I do know for sure that it takes a fair share of deprogramming and personal growth to get out of thinking that way.
Technology (i.e. dating apps) and subsequently culture (specifically hookup culture) is changing so much faster than our psychology evolves to keep up.
I think hookup culture itself is neutral, but the apps definitely encourage unhealthy mindsets. Some people are immune I think, but not me in my 20s, and not the majority of young people. If you think about it, until now, having so many options for dates at your fingertips wasn't "natural". Now it's a part of reality, and we have to learn how to navigate it in a healthy way and think about dating differently. We haven't unlocked it yet!
👆All of this. I never was much for app dating, but I had friends that used it and I can see how the gamification of dating can be psychologically harmful. I do think it’s hard to come to a point in our lives (no matter the technology) where we are able to look for value in people that isn’t highly skewed by what society tells us is valuable (appearances being one of the main ones). For me, the journey of unlearning that is as much for loving myself as it is for enabling me to love someone else successfully.
So the assumption you built your whole point on in the previous post is wrong
🤔 No. my point was that at least 50% of the populations rights are substantially different, and heterosexual relationships, which consist of 1/2 women… are naturally impacted by that. I never said ALL people married for survival in recent history. I said some people do - just a measley 50% of the human species.
Something that impacts “only” women (50% of population) impacts 100% of heterosexual relationships. The point is that heterosexual relationships are not the same. The goals and utility of them are different.
Many men previously married to have someone to help them run a house and operate a farm. There was a literal need to have someone in the kitchen to cook otherwise no one was eating.
I feel like, collectively, the male gender still struggles to know how to handle tasks around the home and kitchen (not to say there aren’t men who excel here). And what’s interesting is that being willing to carry their own weight in this area would actually go really far for making them more desirable as a partner. My experience is that they’re resistant to this because it wasn’t modeled for them in their homes growing up.
Does not load here. Maybe it’s block in Canada? 🙃
Ohhh.. 🤷🏻♀️
I never understood how it seemed like all apartments belonging to men in their early 20’s shared the same odd stickiness everywhere until I watched my nephew clean things. I have seen strategic incompetence in action and used from a young age. I won’t be infantilizing men. I’ve known plenty of men capable and willing of being partners in household chores and cooking. It’s the bare fucking minimum. As an adult seeking out the skills you need to improve is just basic life skills.
Do you think women in general find men who do chores around the house, chores traditionally done by women in the past, like washing dishes & clothes, sewing, cooking, sweeping, dusting, an attractive quality in men?
They all say they do, but in reality no they don't.
It’s so hot. Having a capable caring partner so very hot! 🥵
When talking about partnerships, 100%. I can’t speak to those looking for physical connection only. But women are learning new skills to be competitive in the workplace and are interested in partners who are able to be equals and who are also striving to improve and grow. Continuing to do all the tasks that are typically “female coded”, while also bringing in incomes equal to or greater than their partners, is a recipe for resentment. From what I know from my experience as a woman, those that I’m close to, and the content I’ve read - equality during the second shift is HIGHLY attractive and desired and largely missing. To me, this is a natural pain point of societal growth and no one expects people to instantly evolve… but some acknowledgment and effort here can go a LONG way.
My dad vacuums! Be with a man who vacuums
I personally enjoy vacuuming... We’d drown in cat hair otterwise. This one has a laser light that shows you the hair and particles on the floor in low light! No idea how we lived before this vacuum…
Yes! Even better is acknowledging the reality of how hard this work is and planning to hire a third party if the couple both have busy jobs.
Communication, organization and planning is key in a successful relationship (in addition to soul level sex to bring each partner to their genius level ✨
Working in the fiat grind 40hrs/wk for 40yrs and debasement of currency of 40% since 2020 lockdown? Working together as team is 100% attractive. Bitcoin is freedom from the grind 👊👊👊
plus all these kids of boomers saw their parents divorce en masse, and realized that was a bad path function to successful, multigenerational families
,, I don’t see a planet without at least two. originaly Marriage was a Hebrew idea , not really a definition or a piece of paper or a contract with a government/state,, the idea from Hebrew was that a marriage was something that existed between two people who loved each other , and by love I mean , treated each other, cared for, protected, considered for in everything .. the lord blesses a marriage,,,,,it took me a 20 year marriage with a state certificate to finally learn that! #GodIsGood #NeverGiveUp #plebfession
All the types you describe are wasting their sexual energy and I bet haven’t created anything great.
FWIW I’ve only know one person who has panicked settled bc of fertility reasons and it was a guy
All the women I know talk about how the bar is so low for men it’s in hell. If a woman says anything dudes just chime in with maybe you should lower your standards. I see so many dudes complaining about dating and being single but never looking in the mirror. Granted women are guilty of that too. I’ve spent significant amounts of time single. It wasn’t like I wouldn’t get offers but they were terrible. When I would try apps at least half or more of the responses were guys telling me I had dudes falling all over themselves for me and they weren’t going to be one of them. I just felt like so many guys were telling themselves the story that they couldn’t get the girl so they ended up doing things to sabotage themselves.
I see what you are saying. What’s the standard though? If you turn on YouTube to a channel, which I admit is not representative of the entire population, in general what is said is that the standard for women is the Three Six Men which basically eliminates a majority of the male population if you apply it to the most recent US census.
Some doing quick napkin math will realize you can’t match 1 to 1 to say 20% of men to say 80% of women, who are both active in the sexual market, just with the Three Six Men standard.
On the other side, most men have not changed their own standard of wanting a Traditional Woman. These are declining in numbers rapidly too, which further complicates matching and forming couples.
Both men and women are increasingly becoming less attractive to the opposite sex.
There’s societal consequences for keeping these same old standards and not adjusting to the modern age.
I’ll admit, I’m not familiar with the Three Six Men standard, so maybe I’ll have to educate myself on what’s being said 😅 but I agree that the standards and expectations must evolve. I don’t think the answer is lowering them, but redefining them and listening to each other. Now… I want to preface that with the idea that I’m not sure matching is the end all be all goal for everyone. I don’t think marriage is virtuous for the sake of marriage, personally. And being single as a choice is perfectly valid, IMO. But of those wanting to be “matched”, I think it’s important to be willing to understand that people are human and growth/change and grace is part of any human-human relationship. I also don’t think anyone is entitled to a match. And I think that sense entitlement is what breeds resentment and honestly just gets in the way of actual human connection.
I am not familiar with the three six men theory and quickly trying to look it up on YouTube didn’t really yield anything. But I’m not familiar with these mythical ideal men that the majority of women are sharing.
I mean there was this dude in San Francisco back in the day who a lot of women had slept with but they all talked about him like he was a SF newbie mistake. To the point I’d hear women meet a woman who just moved to San Francisco and warning her about this dude felt like part of the welcome packet. Personally I’d hope the average guy was aiming for quality not quantity. Didn’t want to be multiple women’s mistake.
Hehe sorry this is what I meant: 6 feet tall, 6 inch 🍆, 6 figures income. I haven’t read your note yet but wanted to clarify this bit.
Let’s be honest there are some women and people in general who have some honestly batshit ideas of what’s necessary in a partner. I’ve had Jabba the hut looking guys who are underemployed, reek of cigarettes, dribbling Mountain Dew down their rolls, probably couldn’t find their dick if their life depended on it, sitting outside a country gas station telling me I’m not pretty enough to date and how it’s sad I’m so old in my 30’s and going home alone to my cat. These same dudes think they deserve a Cindy Crawford type.
Yes there is a weird percentage of women surprisingly hung up on the 6 ft height rule. Which I’ve always found odd because I’m 5’11 and never been hung up on height. While I’ve met 5’2 women who refuse to match with someone under 6 ft. Does not compute to me.
I do think online dating does lend itself more to “elimi-dating” so you get hung up on things that might not really be an issue just to narrow down to a reasonable sample size. At the end of the day you just have to show up as your best self. Know what you’re looking for and not get too demoralized on the search for it.
Let’s be honest there are some women and people in general who have some honestly batshit ideas of what’s necessary in a partner. I’ve had Jabba the hut looking guys who are underemployed, reek of cigarettes, dribbling Mountain Dew down their rolls, probably couldn’t find their dick if their life depended on it, sitting outside a country gas station telling me I’m not pretty enough to date and how it’s sad I’m so old in my 30’s and going home alone to my cat. These same dudes think they deserve a Cindy Crawford type.
Yes there is a weird percentage of women surprisingly hung up on the 6 ft height rule. Which I’ve always found odd because I’m 5’11 and never been hung up on height. While I’ve met 5’2 women who refuse to match with someone under 6 ft. Does not compute to me.
I do think online dating does lend itself more to “elimi-dating” so you get hung up on things that might not really be an issue just to narrow down to a reasonable sample size. At the end of the day you just have to show up as your best self. Know what you’re looking for and not get too demoralized on the search for it.
Let’s be honest there are some women and people in general who have some honestly batshit ideas of what’s necessary in a partner. I’ve had Jabba the hut looking guys who are underemployed, reek of cigarettes, dribbling Mountain Dew down their rolls, probably couldn’t find their dick if their life depended on it, sitting outside a country gas station telling me I’m not pretty enough to date and how it’s sad I’m so old in my 30’s and going home alone to my cat. These same dudes think they deserve a Cindy Crawford type.
Yes there is a weird percentage of women surprisingly hung up on the 6 ft height rule. Which I’ve always found odd because I’m 5’11 and never been hung up on height. While I’ve met 5’2 women who refuse to match with someone under 6 ft. Does not compute to me.
I do think online dating does lend itself more to “elimi-dating” so you get hung up on things that might not really be an issue just to narrow down to a reasonable sample size. At the end of the day you just have to show up as your best self. Know what you’re looking for and not get too demoralized on the search for it.
Let’s be honest there are some women and people in general who have some honestly batshit ideas of what’s necessary in a partner. I’ve had Jabba the hut looking guys who are underemployed, reek of cigarettes, dribbling Mountain Dew down their rolls, probably couldn’t find their dick if their life depended on it, sitting outside a country gas station telling me I’m not pretty enough to date and how it’s sad I’m so old in my 30’s and going home alone to my cat. These same dudes think they deserve a Cindy Crawford type.
Yes there is a weird percentage of women surprisingly hung up on the 6 ft height rule. Which I’ve always found odd because I’m 5’11 and never been hung up on height. While I’ve met 5’2 women who refuse to match with someone under 6 ft. Does not compute to me.
I do think online dating does lend itself more to “elimi-dating” so you get hung up on things that might not really be an issue just to narrow down to a reasonable sample size. At the end of the day you just have to show up as your best self. Know what you’re looking for and not get too demoralized on the search for it.
Let’s be honest there are some women and people in general who have some honestly batshit ideas of what’s necessary in a partner. I’ve had Jabba the hut looking guys who are underemployed, reek of cigarettes, dribbling Mountain Dew down their rolls, probably couldn’t find their dick if their life depended on it, sitting outside a country gas station telling me I’m not pretty enough to date and how it’s sad I’m so old in my 30’s and going home alone to my cat. These same dudes think they deserve a Cindy Crawford type.
Yes there is a weird percentage of women surprisingly hung up on the 6 ft height rule. Which I’ve always found odd because I’m 5’11 and never been hung up on height. While I’ve met 5’2 women who refuse to match with someone under 6 ft. Does not compute to me.
I do think online dating does lend itself more to “elimi-dating” so you get hung up on things that might not really be an issue just to narrow down to a reasonable sample size. At the end of the day you just have to show up as your best self. Know what you’re looking for and not get too demoralized on the search for it.
Tbh… woman being empowered to have their own careers actually enables men with different qualities to be desirable. I think this will take some time to fully be reflected in societal expectations… but men don’t have to have their core value be defined by so significantly based on how much they earn. That is something that both partners are able to offer each other in moderation. I think this transition is confusing on both sides - men are trying to be attractive using an out of date playbook and women are having to also deal with the struggles of the gap between what they actually want vs what society says they should want.
💯💯💯💯💯
Never let a man steal your youthful years.
Boring and hollow
My honest opinion:
Not sure how to navigate it?
I'm Brazilian, almost everything here is about connection, especially in the part where I live, but I'm not like that.
But I have no idea if there's a right and a wrong in all this... For now I'm Patrick hammering his own head 😄
O que você pode ver são consequencias, se você já entendeu o que o sistema propaga, não pode ser coisa boa.
Nem toda conexão é artificial, produzida pelo sistema... Certas regiões são por si só mais pobres que outras (por fatores internos) e mais dependentes de conchavos para atuar.
Onde eu vivo é muito difícil enriquecer "sozinho", muitas pessoas só crescem por conhecerem outras ou bajularem outras, e eu acho que é como as coisas sempre foram... Isso de se desenvolver desconectado dos outros me parece ser algo muito recente.
Só sei que havendo oportunidade eu sairia daqui 😠👍
meu amigo, não entendi muito bem essa cultura, mas se for essa moda atual é para enfraquecer você como individo, eles não querem o seu bem, essa cultura seria tipo um swing? pegação?
Se for a hiperconectividade e essas práticas aí, eu acho que são ruim e produzidas pelo sistema mesmo, mas ainda não vejo como isso como cultura, e sim como vícios.
Tried it because I thought it would make me happy, for a little bit it does, but doesn't last... Hedonistic treadmill
It’s akin to a drug
Best answer. It triggers some of the same receptors as drugs.
And some drugs are ok/acceptable, and others destroy lives & societies.
1000% agree
I’m not sure if hookup culture will destroy society, it does look like it is reshaping it. Religious people will say this is Sodom and Gomorrah 2.0. I think we will adapt and overcome it. We have to.
It won’t. You’re giving it wayyyy too much credit
Are you saying hookup culture won’t reshape society?
Let's just hope we'll be able to root out all the negative consequences of hookup culture. Tbh, it's not all bad. Some people just aren't meant for long-term relationships.
Definitely not destroying it. That's going a little far. Most certainly reshaping it. Isn't that what society always does when dealing with its core components?
Repair. Maintain. Improve.
#CancerCulture
I think J. Budziszewski had made a very thorough but still accessible analysis of the hook up culture in his book:
On the Meaning of Sex
I wouldn't know much that could be added to it.
I asked ChatGPT to summarize the book:
"On the Meaning of Sex" is a philosophical exploration of human sexuality and its place in human nature, written by J. Budziszewski, a professor of government and philosophy at the University of Texas.
Budziszewski argues that the meaning of sex is not merely a matter of personal preference or cultural construction, but is grounded in the nature of human beings as embodied, rational, and relational creatures. He critiques various contemporary theories of sexuality, including those that reduce it to pleasure-seeking, those that deny its connection to procreation, and those that regard it as merely a form of self-expression.
Instead, Budziszewski contends that sex is inherently connected to both love and procreation, and that it serves a crucial role in forming and sustaining the bonds of marriage and family. He also discusses the ethical implications of sexual behavior, including the importance of sexual fidelity and the harms caused by pornography and other forms of sexual exploitation.
Throughout the book, Budziszewski draws on philosophical and theological insights to provide a comprehensive understanding of the meaning of sex and its place in human flourishing.
Is it accurate?
In the dry language of an AI bot, yes!
I asked ChatGPT to spice it up haha:
"On the Meaning of Sex" is a fascinating book that dives deep into the philosophical underpinnings of human sexuality. The author, J. Budziszewski, takes on various contemporary theories of sexuality and critiques them one by one, arguing that the meaning of sex is not simply a matter of personal preference or cultural construction, but is actually grounded in the nature of human beings as embodied, rational, and relational creatures.
Budziszewski's insights are thought-provoking and insightful, and he doesn't shy away from controversial topics. He explores the connection between sex, love, and procreation, and how these elements are all intertwined in a way that is crucial for forming and sustaining healthy relationships and families.
But that's not all! Budziszewski also delves into the ethical implications of sexual behavior, touching on topics like sexual fidelity and the harms caused by pornography and other forms of sexual exploitation. His arguments are backed up by both philosophical and theological insights, making for a truly comprehensive understanding of the meaning of sex and its place in human flourishing.
Overall, "On the Meaning of Sex" is a must-read for anyone interested in philosophy, ethics, or human sexuality. It's an engaging and thought-provoking book that will challenge your preconceived notions and leave you with a deeper understanding of this complex and fascinating topic.
That's better. Well done 🤣🤣🤣👋
I always thought I wanted a really good long term relationship, and I was looking for my life partner. But after sleeping with someone, I often no longer wanted a long term relationship with her and I'd start looking for the next one. Somehow I always seemed to realize that only after I slept with her, as if my own mind was lying to me about whether she would make a good mate because what I really wanted (apparently) was to bang all the not-too-ugly girls. I'm not proud of it, I'm ashamed of most of it. I think everybody would have been better off if there were cultural norms supressing this behavior, but cultural norms around this in California were (are), well, as loose as all fuck.
Nothing wrong in moving on if it doesn’t work, and way more damaging to yourself and to your relationship if you stay on for too long, imho, because you thought there’s that 10% moment of happiness you can get back or that you had this fairytale idea of what happiness was. I think that suppressive culture can backfire because you end up living your life based on how everyone else will judge you. But man that’s a lottt of multitasking :) jk! I haven’t travelled much but I think men in France were way more forward, followed by NY. In Bay area and Texas there were a lot of elderly moms and dads with “I have a son...”.
Not impressed.
Humans are complicated. It seems to short circuit deep relationships within a number of cultures.
En los años de vida que llevo mi concepto es el siguiente: primero uno debe aprender a conocerse a cuidarse a valerse por sí mismo a amarse y buscar solo aquello que te motive a vivir feliz. Si en el camino de la vida encuentras a alguien con tu misma sintonía tal vez empiecen a caminar juntos cuánto tiempo? Tal vez para siempre, tal vez por un tiempo, pero eso no debe limitarnos nunca a buscar las formas de ser felices con o sin compañía.
been there, done that. dunno. people eventually get old. I did. imagine the 60’s. imagine ancient greece. imagine the the imperial courts, the plebs in the taverns. and imagine sodoma. luxury remains the best of all the seven.
lust*
🤙
“Wherever there was evidence available in connection with the lives of men and women of great achievement, it indicated most convincingly that they possessed highly developed sex natures.” Wasting this energy with someone inconsequential and not an equal, but rather channeling that sexual energy into your genius work and elevating that through a committed relationship with your partner is what makes someone into a genius creator. Find your equal and you’ll go next level, together. (Lots of the types you describe aren’t doing anything great, or are fucking up, because they’re wasting their sexual energy on low hanging fruit. But if you know the secret, you can aim for something of higher quality).
Gets you used to a broken incentive model that only caters to your ego 👎
Short term gratification that leads to long term pain; creates dysfunctional ideals of relationships, as well as damage to one’s spirit and ends in regret in many forms.
I think hookup culture is an artificial replacement for the real thing. Where the real thing is a happy monogamous marriage with deep emotional connection, regular sex, and lots of kids.
⚡️#Zapped⚡️
💜 Followed 💜
🙏 ₿oosted 🙏
🤙 #plebchain 🤙
Marriage is foundational to civilization. Promiscuity is corrosive to marriage. What more needs to be said.
Life doesn’t have to be complicated💜. Facts!
What’s your argument for why that is?
There are lots, but the simplest one is that children come from marriage, and statistically having a father and a mother is clearly the best outcome for kids. Unmarried couples are far less likely to stay together. Patterns of promiscuity pre-marriage, plus a culture that doesn't value faithfulness (i.e., porn, no-fault divorce, etc) surrounding a marriage make it harder to stay together long term. Divorce teaches children to fear commitment, perpetuating the problem.
This podcast is heckin' good on the topic: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/katy-faust-our-childrens-forgotten-rights/id1547129171?i=1000608655471
Have a couple of kids and you’ll realize that marriage is very important and IMO necessary. I can’t imagine raising kids on your own (much respect to all that do).
Now not wanting children I don’t understand. As a species, to survive we need children. To me it’s the meaning of life itself, survival at its core.
When I was younger there were a few who were in the “hookup culture” and I always envisioned myself being one of them. However, something inside me always held me back and I chose instead to date exclusively for the long term. I can see the draw to it as a male having the opportunity to be with multiple “unkown” or known women but something in my heart prevents me from doing it. I find the love of a single woman and having a family far outweighs the short lived good feelings of “hooking up”.
It’s natural, specially for young adults (that have the social energy for that 😬)
Fine if it lets you find better suited long term partner.
Stressful…
It really depends on approach and result. 😅😂
Can be fun but not good when indulged - confusing sex with intimacy leads nowhere worthwhile
A bit Brave New World ish.
Without being judgmental on the hookup culture, I can understand the biological needs of young people that decide to let it all out through intense sexual activities. I was in a college fraternity and understood why it was tempting to engage in the hookup culture. Let's keep it real - when it was mid-night, you had some (cheap) beer and all the people around you looked attractive and by the way, everyone was dancing in a physically suggestive way, you have to be a medieval monk to restrain your sexual urge. So YOLO!
That said, having sex with someone is NOT only a biological experience. It is spiritual as well. Therefore, the problem with hookup culture is that people are binding themselves to one another spiritually without realizing so. This is why breaking off with people that you have had sex with are harder than one might think...
I downloaded Tinder recently. On one hand I was glad to see straight Tinder is more like Grindr these days. I could have basically ordered sex to my house. But it just made me think I really should’ve gotten married young. I was not made for this.
Don’t know what it is 😏